Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Under or over stimulated?

So enough about me and my insecurities. There is so much to say about Noah - for whom my fatness and discomfort is a very small price to pay. I am stunned every day by how fantastic he is. He has these giant inquisitive and expressive eyes. When he is sad they break your heart and when he is happy they send you into a blissful state you couldn't have imagined. (Well - at least for me. I can't speak for you. Whoever the hell you are.)

Last night was his very first time sitting in his high chair. He didn't eat anything, but rather just watched us eat. Masochist. But he just sat there patiently. It was a nice change from one of us bouncing him while the other one felt bad that they were the only parent who got a warm dinner. I can't believe how he seems so much closer to being a little boy rather than an infant. It makes so happy and so sad too. This time is SO precious. In ten years I doubt he will just let me cuddle him for an hour and play with his little hands and feet.

So my big dilemma with him is always wondering if I am doing enough with him. I read, sing, dance and talk with him. I stretch, bounce, and roll him. He plays with his gyms, his rattles, and Brainy Baby toys. But that cycle of activities draws to a close early in the day. And then I am wondering if I start again at the beginning or if there is something else I should be doing with him. If I let him play with the gym for twenty minutes a couple of times a day while I check email, is that neglectful? Should I be engaging him constantly? I wish I could be a fly on the wall and see what other mothers do with their infants. Noah is just SO amazing. I feel so blessed to have such a healthy, engaging, beautiful little boy and I want to make sure I do the best for him.

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