Monday, February 28, 2011

I miss him dearly

My father is gone. It was sudden. It is horrible. I read this at his service.

There is no way to make sense of this. We should have had so much more time with Dad. But rather than focus on what we no longer have I need to talk about some of the wonderful things we did have, what he meant to us, who he was.
Dad wore his heart on his sleeve. And sadly it had been broken many times. And though he carried around a lot of pain with him Dad was really a jovial guy. He had so many things that brought him joy – sitting at the bar, chatting with a stranger, taking a walk and seeing new things, going out for a nice meal, taking us to zoos, amusement parks, movies, museums, circuses and boat trips. But most of all Dad loved his family – loved getting us all together, cooking us a meal and watching the children grow and play. He had a sweet tooth and he made sure all the grandchildren knew where the candy jar was. He loved to look at photos of us all – and his walls were covered with all of our faces. Everyone had photos on that wall that they weren’t pleased with – but Dad saw beauty in them all. And that was what was the most powerful thing about Dad. He could make you feel so incredibly loved and special – and that love was unconditional. It shaped me and healed me so many times in my life. But the thing that he would be most proud of, the thing for which I am most thankful for is that he brought us all together. We all have different mothers, and some of us different fathers – but that doesn’t matter. We are a family. And we will all get through this tragedy, this pain, and all its grief in exactly the way he would of wanted us to – together.