Thursday, May 05, 2005

Frantic franticness

The in-laws are coming! The in-laws are coming!

Mark's Dad and his wife Sylvia are coming to visit us this afternoon. We are very excited to see them however whenever they are about to visit I fly into a tizzy. The house is not clean enough. I don't know what to make to eat. Factoring in what everyone won't eat eliminates everything that I typically make - so I'm screwed. But if we order food I look like a bad wife and mother who never cooks. We could go out to eat. But will the baby be okay? Where can we go? What places have good food but are still family friendly? And for the love of God I don't want to go to another chain restaurant - though I know they have highchairs and changing tables.

And the crazy thing is that they know their visit throws me into a tailspin. When they call they tell Mark that I shouldn't clean just for them, and that I don't have to make dinner for them. It is very considerate and thoughtful of them but that almost makes it worse. Because they KNOW I'm incompetent. I so badly want to be a good cook, a good host, a good daughter in-law. But I really stink at it.

And I should be cleaning right now, but I'm blogging instead. You see how bad I suck?


Missuz J said...

I have complete empathy for you right now. Shove everything in the closet or under the bed, spray a little cleaning spray around so it smells like you cleaned (this really works. people smell the spray and the house automaticaly looks cleaner to them), and get some good take-out somewhere. If you feel you must, dump it into some of your casserole dishes to make it look like you cooked it. Your Mark sounds so nice, I'm sure his parents must be too. Besides, they don't give a shit about you anyway. They just want to get their hands on Noah.

Kelly said...

Exactly! They aren't there to see you, Mark, or the house anymore! You automatically become the rockinest woman in the world by giving them such a great grandbaby!

patrice said...

these people who don't even KNOW your inlaws know that they are there to see noah. well, sylvia is anyways. and though sylvia cooks everything from scratch at a rate that could feed entire neighborhoods, it's almost like you might as well order out anyways cause you're not gonna top that. I say that with love and my foot planted firmly in reality, because even though you're 10 times the cook I am, you're not up to sylvia level...and that's the same for most of the population.

you can always blame it on noah being sick. sick babies mean that you don't even have to shower and people totally understand.

NME said...

Well two things happened - I realized that Noah is now horrificly afraid of the vacuum so I can't get that done and they suggested we go out. But of course Mark and I can't agree about where to go.

I know they are here to see Noah - but I'm sure they will still have enough energy to catch site of the hovel and meal-free environment surrounding him and past judgement. I just want everyone to be happy - and in my ferver for that I have engineered it so that everyone is miserable. It's quite a feat really.

patrice said...

you do this all the time!!! you get all freaked out about making sure things are perfect, and then you assure yourself that it is, in fact, the opposite of perfect, and then someone else sees what you've been doing and says "it's perfect, or at least really close" and you say "NO IT'S NOT, IT'S AWFUL. IT'S HIDEOUS. IT'S UNCLEAN!!"

does mark think the place is horrible? I bet he doesn't!!

through out some hummus and noah-shaped pita to snack on and then head over to an italian place. italian people are popping out babies all the time, they ought to be fine with noah eating in.

Missuz J said...

I agree completely. Take a couple of deep breaths. Put Noah into one of his cutest outfits, and let the rest go.

NME said...

You're right. You are all right.
It's Cinco de Mayo and obviously someone needs a Margarita!

Jen O. said...

"There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one" -- Jill Churchill

Kelly said...

Completely unrelated...well, not completely, I guess. I'm getting ready to leave work and usually can't find my way online on the weekend, so:

Happy Mother's Day, Nicole!