Friday, November 18, 2005

Not quite practically perfect in every way.

I have a million more important things I should be doing. But I can’t stand not blogging every weekday. It’s seriously causing me stress. Weird, right? While I have been a little more busy lately with some freelance work, errands and whatnot the real thing keeping me from blogging is Noah. There was a time, just a few short weeks ago, when he was content occasionally playing with something on the floor by my feet while I checked email or got some things done around the house. That time has passed. Now he doesn’t want to stay penned into the office with me, he wants to run around. And that constant activity requires near constant supervision which means I’m not getting crap done while he’s awake. And then when he finally naps I have things to do, which sometimes includes sleeping because his night sleep has been so patchy. So that is the story with my reduced blogging. Maybe once we fall into a new pattern I’ll get better. I hope. Honestly I’m feeling a bit rundown this week and in serious need of some ME time.

And because I need ME time, and I’m (as I’ve mentioned) a total dork – this past Monday I bought tickets to see Harry Potter on Sunday. The last movie Mark and I went to go see at the theater was Charlie & The Chocolate Factory – and maybe SOMEDAY I may have interest in going to see something slightly more adult. Which causes me to mention that today I bought Mary Poppins on DVD. I’ve been hungering for it as of late as a result of a recent blog conversation. We went to Toys R’ Us to exchange a couple of Noahs’ birthday gifts and rather than just spending our store credit I went a little nuts and picked up more than I needed. I’ll blame it on a customer service faux pas, my poor math and retail therapy. I hope Noah has some genuine interest in some of the toys we got – otherwise it’s just more clutter.

Tomorrow we go to Franklin Fountain (think Grandees) to celebrate Francesca’s first birthday with her family. I’ve been thinking about having a sundae all week. Yum… fudge. At least they better have fudge. I hate when a place only has chocolate syrup on their sundaes and not thick, warm, rich fudge. There should be some sort of law against that.

And now I have a little bit of a rant brought on in part by this article, and in part by some well meaning advice from my Mom. (Hi Mom! Love you.) I don’t like Ferberizing and I don’t like Cry-it-out. And that may make me a clingy, oversentimental mother who is depriving herself of sleep needlessly – but so be it. I’ve done MORE than enough reading and listening about parenting methods and everyone (including myself and Mark) is going to have to have faith that though I might not be doing what is considered by one or the majority to be “the best method,” I AM adhering to what is best for me, and what I think is best for Noah. At the moment I don’t have the heart to turn a deaf ear on the cries of my son. Some day in the not too distant future I may decide enough is enough and abandon the boy in his room to weep his head off, but it ain’t gonna be today. ‘Nuff said.

‘Kay. I best go do something useful for the four remaining minutes before Noah awakes. Have a good weekend y’all.

10 comments:

dermot said...
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lonna said...

I remember when Dermot started walking, and he needed to be watched constantly. I really missed the days of lay the 3 month old on the blanket. If it helps any, it does get better. Toys get more interesting and Noah will be able to understand his boundaries better. It will take a while. I think that it was about 3 months before I could trust Dermot to be on his own a little bit.

OMH said...

To cry or not to cry? Hmmm not that you asked for my thoughts (but when has that ever stopped me). I've always been a believer that if my children (now grandchildren) calls for me (crying or voicing MOMMY) it is my privilege to respond. I know if I call out for someone and their not able to respond or choose not to I feel rejected and I think people get enough of that out in the big world without having it in the "SAFE ZONE" (a.k.a HOME)

amandak said...

Oh, the sleeping. Clark used to be the one to get up with Madeline, and as a result of him being willing to sleep with her on the couch every night, she got into some poor sleep habits as a toddler (older than your little man for sure). When I finally decided it was time for her to start sleeping through the night, I pretty much spent the night on the floor in her room. Fun trick when you're 8 months pregnant. I'd comfort her in her crib, but kept telling her it was time to sleep and she needed to lay down again, and just wouldn't pick her up. It was a little gnarly that first night, but I at least could feel like I wasn't leaving her alone. At one point I even stood next to the crib for like an hour with my hand on her, just so she'd know I was there. Zach was no problem and mostly did it by himself when he was ready. Everyone's different (kids and parents), and it's good that you're handling it in a way that's right for you both.

Anna said...

I agree with you about the style of parenting - doing what you feel is best for you and Noah makes sense to me. Every child is different and what might work wonders for one child may not with another child.

Oh, my aunt recommended visitng the Montesori web sites for activites you can do with Noah. Just thought I'd throw that out there, too. We're going to play it by ear when Ben comes along. I kind of figured that at some point he'd be pretty active, and there really wouldn't be an opportunity to get any work done. I'd really like to stay home and rear my son, as opposed to someone else doing it. I hope we can swing it.

I hope you get a chance for some time just for you. Have a great weekend!

Anonymous said...

I have a 19 month old and he still doesn't sleep through the night. I have received all of the unsolicited advice (even from my mother) that you have, but I still feel much the same way that you do - can't bear to let him cry-it-out, so I continue to get up with him at night. I have noticed that he goes through phases where he sleeps awfully and then great again. I think it has to do with the different development levels and changes they go through and they naturally work themselves out. Do whatever makes you (and Noah) feel good and don't worry, he will be able to sleep on his own when he's ready! I'm sure you won't still be getting up with him in college! :)

Kathryn said...

I don't think I'll be able to let mine cry it out either. I've never quite understood that. It seems like a drill sergeant kind of a thing to do.'

I hope you enjoy your "me" time! Let me know how the movie was I'm dying to see it.

hazel said...

you know, in some ways, I think the parenting shows like nanny 911 and stuff make it seem like if you fuck up early in toddlerhood, your house will be run by your children and they will be monsters. it's like diets - now the atkins people are starting to realize that they do need fruits (now that they have rickets) and the no-fat people are pissed about their parched skin and frizzy hair. diets go in and out of fashion just like parenting styles.

as long as your parenting style isn't spare the rod and spoil the child, I think you're good to go. if no one can call the real police on you, the mommy police can bite it. (not that carol is the mommy police! seriously.)

Anonymous said...

OK - A bit of self-defense from Mom... I really didn't really push you let Noah cry it out. I did mention when you were so sleep deprived the other day, that your cousin said it only took a few nights of crying - and a little less each night - to get her son into the habit of going to sleep without her. Keep in mind that you never stop trying to 'fix' things for your child - and you are still my child. I would LOVE to hear that you are getting a full night's sleep - you are always so tired and sleep deprived. I also believe that children are very resilient and adaptable, although, habits are harder to break the longer you let them go on.

Anonymous said...

One more comment - We let you 'cry it out' when we took your bottle away, and your father had to practically tie me to a chair in the livingroom to stop me from going to get you. So - I realize it is VERY tough to do...