The grocery store was a dream. Not exactly – but as good as it gets. From the moment we entered the store to the moment we exited it was an hour and ten minutes. That is a long time for a baby to stay patient. But he did it. I talked to him a lot while shopping – much to the amusement of other shoppers. I also gave him a few things to keep him occupied. When he’d get bored of something I’d switch it. He spent some time with a lemon in one of those cool crinkly plastic bags, a bag of beans, a package of Gerber baby spoons and a loudly rattling box of Mike & Ikes. In fact I accidentally bought the beans and Mike & Ikes though I meant to put them back. Of course I have already opened the Mike & Ikes and realized that I don’t really like them. They seem pretty damn bland to my taste. However I do favor the name Ike.
My biggest problem was the cart. You see since I only grocery shop every two weeks I buy A LOT of groceries. At the end of our excursion Noah was nearly surrounded by stuff. A passing woman actually said “Don’t lose him in there.” The problem only gets worse once everything is bagged. In order to get all the bags in the cart I have to take Noah out. This means I’m trying to carry him in one (tendonitis ridden) arm and steer a cart overflowing with bags and teetering under their weight with the other. Those carts aren’t exactly wieldy (is that a word?) – so it takes superhuman skill. Today I had no skill. After I got the cart out of the store I stopped the cart guy and asked him to please take it to the car.
Getting the groceries into the house takes planning too. I bring Noah in first and put him in the Exersaucer right by the glass screen door. This way he can see me at the car getting bags – so he isn’t freaked out when I go walking out of the house. Once I have everything in the front door I move Noah to the Jumperoo in the kitchen – and then move all the groceries to the kitchen and put all the cold items in the fridge and freezer. By then Noah is requiring my full-on attention so I wait to unpack everything else until he goes down for his nap. And that is my grocery store saga.
So get this – over seven months after Noah’s birth I received a bill from the hospital for his birth. Our hospital stay costs over $10,000 but Keystone settled it for just over $3000 – but there is a $300 adjustment fee with which they billed us. What kills me most about this is that I thought there would be a charge for Noah’s birth so I put money in a flexible health spending account last year. But after I set it up to withhold $600 from my pay last year a coworker informed me that she didn’t pay anything for the birth of her son – so last year I used the money for prescriptions, copays and glasses. NOW I get the $300 bill for Noah. Think they will try to repossess him if we don’t pay?