V 34.0

I turned 34 last week. In response I’ve decided to do some upgrading. Things are good, but I could be a bit better. And since Ray’s first year has flown pass, I can take a deep breath and let the reins out a little bit.

I’ve joined Weight Watchers online in the hopes of losing 20 pounds of baby weight and I’ve made plans to start a yoga class in August. Weight Watchers is a challenge because I’m trying to stay away from “diet” foods which I feel are too over-processed. I’m not really into fat-free, sugar free anything. It seems weird that it’s harder to be on a diet and eat healthier – but it’s the case. The yoga class will be tough because once a week I’ll be leaving the house at the start of the bedtime ritual. This means Mark is going to have to figure out a way to get Ray to sleep without nursing. And occupy Noah while doing it. I don’t know who is more nervous about it, Mark or me. Probably me.

As for goals for the next year – we are indeed considering having a third. We’d like to get pregnant again in the next year but with our fertility history you can never really make a firm plan. We will try and see what the fates have in store for us. Right now we are still on hold though because believe it or not I still haven’t gotten my period. Ray still nurses about 5 – 6 times a day and he’s keeping my cycle at bay.

I’ve also decided to make a goal of reading one book a month. In order to do that I’m going to have to be more disciplined about when I read. Make it part of a ritual. I finished Eat, Pray, Love with some mixed conclusions. I loved Eat, enjoyed Pray (but she could have seen some more of India!) but was bothered by Love. I liked the Balinese culture stuff – my issue was don’t tell me your doing a big spiritual, emotional journey to learn to better care for yourself and not let a man dictate your life and then end up dating your Daddy. I ain’t buyin it as a fitting ending. And now I’m on to Animal, Vegetable, Miracle which Mark bought me last year. And then to a book from Patrice, which surprisingly isn't titled with three ideas seperated by commas.

In more entertainment news – we finished Dexter Season 2 & Wire Season 4 and are now watching the new Weeds, Mad Men, Project Runway (!!!) and about to embark on Oz Season 1. As for movies – I don’t remember the last time I watched one. We just can’t seem to ever find the energy to say “We’re committing the next two hours to this.”

Back to upgrade talk – I’m considering getting a smartphone. I started doing a lot of texting in the last couple of months and I’m hungry for a QWERTY keyboard. So I’m on the lookout for the most practical and economical way to go with that. Part of my new love of texting I owe to Twitter. It’s kind of like mini-blogging, something I definitely have more time for. If you are interested in the Twitter stuff my last five tweets are on the right side of the blog. For those unfamiliar with Twitter- it’s short statements that you can even text from your phone that in essence let those interested know what you are up to. It’s fun. And I like getting some twitter feeds sent to my phone too – that way I can get little bits of info from friends while I’m out and about. It makes me feel more connected to them. Now if only the site was acting less glitchy.

The boys, you say? They are excellent. More later.

Now BLOW!

Obviously a one year old does not understand the goings-on of a birthday party, nor that a party is for them. However I think the first birthday party is the most fun. Not for the baby mind you, but for the family and friends. It’s a party to celebrate a momentous year and to reintroduce everyone to the baby as a child. Sort of like “Hey guys, check this little dude out!” So we held a big party not for Ray, but about him. We invited our families and all our friends with families and in the end we hosted 28 adults and 18 kids. It was a bit chaotic and messy, but a lot of fun. And of course Noah had the best time – helping to decorate, plan the party and then running around with his friends. This video shows Ray getting a little help from Noah and his pals for a big birthday wish. A major thank you to everyone who came and helped us to commemorate his first year. Love you.

CelebRAYte

My baby just turned one. He's officially no longer an infant and now a toddler. I can honestly tell you that a year has never gone so fast. And this boy with his exhuberance, charm, and independence blows me away everyday. In this jet-fueled year he teethed early, crawled early, walked early, ran early, forsake baby food for table food and banished the spoon handled by anyone other than himself. Though he doesn't like it one bit when I walk away from him, he's more than happy to toddle off into the sunset with barely a look backward. And though his stubbornness and anger are already becoming legendary, his otherwise sunshiney dispostion justify his name. He is a Ray of it.
GOD. I love him.

It's his jam.

In general Ray doesn't pay too much attention to the TV. Some things crafted explicitly by evil geniuses to entice babies will briefly pique his interest - Elmo and The Teletubbies for example. But NOTHING is quite as exciting as the theme song to the Backyardigans. He LOVES it and since Noah watches an episode almost every day he hears it often. He'll come scurrying from wherever he is to the TV and then clap and spin until it's over.

Beach, Sand, Love

Last week we were in Ocean City, NJ at the beach house my Mom rents every year. It was our fifth year of this new beach family vacation tradition. Mark’s mother’s family were big beach goers and when Mark told stories of having family beach outings I wanted that for our family – the tradition, the quality time, the nostalgia, the fun - and after I got pregnant with Noah I suggested it to my Mom. Lucky for us she wanted in on that too. And now it’s five years in and it’s something I really value – not just for a week away but for strengthening family bonds. And of course also testing them – it can be a bit trying having a bunch of people all staying in one house, wanting to do things their own way and having their own expectations. I know I have my own moments of childish grumpiness but we’re family and we all want everyone to have a good time so we all try to reign them in and remember that we love each other anyway. And what stays with us after the week passes are the lovely memories of kids playing, growing, and spending time with family. Cue the schmaltzy music. Each summer at the beach I remember the year previously and am blown away by the changes. Noah has grown so much in the last year – shedding the last vestiges of babyhood and becoming a little boy. And of course most notably was that last year I was a hugely pregnant woman and this year there is Ray prancing down the beach. It really has flown by – especially when measured in beach time.

Here are a few of the more notable things about our week:

- There is an entrance to Congo Golf where we hit the beach at 12 Street. Most notable about this locale is the large helicopter perched over the roof with two animatronic gorillas that talk and sing songs. Noah LOVES these “monkeys.” Every time we would go near them he would comment on what song they were singing. And he was so obsessed with them that Mark promised him he’d put the four songs that they sing on his Ipod when we got home. I’ve listened to “Noah Mac’s Mega Monkey Mix” at least ten times since we’ve been home. And for those of you dying to replicate this playlist for your very own the tracks are “Hot, Hot, Hot,” “The Lion Sleeps Tonight,” “Under the Boardwalk” and “The Banana Boat Song.”

- Last year our plan to take a boat trip got squashed because of an evening of thunderstorms and since Noah still wanted a ride on a boat I was intent on taking one this year. When I saw a flyer for a “Pirate Adventure” riding a pirate ship on the bay I knew Noah would love it. Of course because of the price only one of us could take him and since it’s always easier for me to take Ray (because of the Mama stage, the nursing, etc.) I always get the infant end of the stick when we divide and conquer. But I HATE to miss out on things. I love to see Noah take something like that in but I bowed out gracefully – and only violently insisted that Mark take insane amounts of pictures and video so I could experience it later. And what an experience it was. There was face painting, sea chanteys, water cannons, a pirate battle, a map and a treasure. Noah took it all in with a very serious expression – he had to concentrate to remember every detail. Staff member Matey Matt apparently commented several times on how he wasn’t smiling. But I assure you he enjoyed every minute of it. And Noah was so excited to show me the pictures. And then to Grandma. And to Nana. I think we will be knee deep in all things pirate for quite some time. Yesterday Noah gave a businessman a good chuckle when upon hearing that I intended us to share the ice cream we were on line to purchase Noah said “Pirates don’t share.” He’s also told me recently that pirates don’t say please to which I responded by telling him that pirates never disrespect their Mamas. But the weirdest and oddest thing that has happened is after seeing a particular homeless man with a red kerchief on his head he now seems to think that all vagrants are pirates. I should have corrected him but it was so darling I let it stand for the moment.

- Noah also mini-golfed for the first time. (And again I didn’t get to go. Boo hoo.) Though sometimes it may have resembled hockey more than golf, he learned a bit and enjoyed himself even more which is really the point. And he even got a hole in one. Afterwards he was asking to golf at every other course on the boardwalk.

- Ocean City is a dry town which means not only no liquor and drunk teens on the boardwalk but also no gambling and games of chance. Thank God for that because we waste more than enough money on the amusement piers. Good lord what a racket those things are! And Noah is all about the rides. And not just the kiddie ones where you drive in a circle and beep the horn either. He rode the serpent mini-coaster 4 times, climbed around in the fun house and obstacle course, tackled the junior bumper cars and even rode the swings. I always loved rides as a kid but oddly enough since having Noah I am far more cautious and even more nauseous. It makes me both nervous and proud to see how bold he is. And that look of joy on his face is priceless – ticket prices be damned.

- For two nights my Mom’s husband Larry’s daughters and grandkids stayed at the house. Those were hands down the most exciting for Noah. He had so much fun playing with his cousins. Jumping in the waves, playing in the sand, going on the rides – together. He really was a bit depressed after they left.

- Noah is in love with the ocean. He was constantly in the water, begging to be taken deep into the waves. He jumped, boogey boarded and was waterlogged a few times but bounced back quickly. Ray was equally in love with the sand. He was covered in it from head to foot. He’d dip his food in it before putting it in his mouth. He rolled around in it naked and content.

- One very unfortunate thing about the beach this year is that my Mom was saddled with horrible back pain the entire week and it really hampered her enjoyment of her vacation. She wasn’t as able to spend as much time cavorting with the kids, walking on the boardwalk or shopping as she would have liked. And though she was really in some severe pain she just kept pushing herself and we’d all be scolding her. It had her a bit down in the dumps which I could totally understand because it was very similar to how I felt last year when I was pregnant and having a lot of early contractions. It really sucks to be limited and feel like you are missing out on the fun. Her back is doing a bit better now and we hope that she’s as good as new very soon.

- Ray is a ladies man. That little man got insane amount of attention at the beach. Large gaggles of bikini clad teenage girls would stop to ooh and aahh at him. Waitresses would marvel at his hair, his eyes, his huge smile. And he ate it up. What a flirt.

- New on Noah’s photo flickr button to the right of the page you will notice photos Noah took on a walk to the bay with Mark. He took 100 photos on that walk – but I whittled it down to the best of the best.

And now vacation is over. It always sucks a bit to come back from vacation. Luckily Noah started his summer camp program this week so we had that to look forward to. For the next two months he has school from 10:15 to 12:45 three days a week. Twice this week I was able to take Noah to school and put Ray down for a nap and READ for a whole hour! Damn that felt good. I always feel so guilty reading – like I should be cleaning if I ever get free time (HA!). But reading is really important to me. So much so that I’d say it is one of the things that makes me ME and I really do need to make time for it. As for what I read - I favor literary fiction set in different countries and different time periods so that I can accidentally learn a few things while following the plot. And TRAVEL – I like to feel like I’m traveling when I read – to China, to Africa, to Europe but most of all India. Just last week I finally finished The Inheritance of Loss and now I’m halfway through Eat, Pray, Love – which is really making me feel like I have to get back into a yoga practice, after of course eating insane amounts of pasta and gelato.

From sea to shining sea

Can you tell me how to get there?

I wanted to take Noah to Sesame Place. Everyone I spoke to who had been raved about the water park rides. And he was SO into amusement parks last year I knew he’d love it. But when I checked out the website I was appalled at the price. It was over $50 a person for anyone over two. Insane. Of course they sell you on the “bargain” of getting a passport to come back a second time or even a season pass. But the prices are outrageous. Then I saw a banner advertising group discounts for Sesame Place. If you bought 15 tickets the price was nearly half. So I picked a date and sent out an email to all my friends with families to see if anyone was interested in making a group excursion – the price was lower and it would be fun bumping into friends all day at the park. And it worked.

Yesterday was the big day – we had a group of 8 preschoolers, 7 moms, 3 dads, 3 infants, 2 grandmas and a nanny! The weather was a little cool for water park weather and we had a few little thunderstorms but as a result the park was pretty empty which was really ideal. It seems everyone had a blast. My mom accompanied me and the boys and we alternated taking Noah on stuff. It was great to have another set of hands and it was nice watching Noah enjoy hanging out with Grandma. I didn’t even get jealous when he preferred her for most of the rides. And Ray was a champ. After only a one hour nap he was awake from 10:30 am to nearly 7:30 pm – and not even grumpy. He was just taking it all in. (Actually it isn’t too uncommon for Ray to go long periods of time without a nap. He is the second child after all and amazingly resilient.) It really was a fantastic day. And spending time with different friends throughout the day made it all the better. All of the kids were utterly ecstatic. I hope to do some other group outings, if not for a discount just for the companionship.

My favorite memories of the day were seeing Noah beam with joy and pride after riding an inner tube water rapid ride all by himself, Noah's fear and yet utter fascination with the roller coaster, Ray pointing at every costumed character, and Ray SO exhausted from the day that he got incredibly clumsy and proceeded to flop happily all over the padded toddler zone.

And now a few notes about Sesame Place: Bring insane amounts of money. Though we got discounted admission and discounted lunch vouchers – the $13 parking set the tone for the day. They don’t allow coolers but I did bring an insulated lunch box with snacks, fruit and veggies so we didn’t spend any additional cash on food until an evening soft pretzel purchase. See the parade and a show or two to break up the day. Both Noah and Ray really loved them. And wear water shoes if you have them, the ground is killer on bare feat. Take photos – unfortunately I had my hands full with Ray and didn’t really take any so I have to wait for others to share them some with me.

Daddy dearest

This weekend I was discussing babies with a father-to-be. He confessed that he was a bit jealous of his wife’s pregnancy. Everything was changing for her and yet for him it was still all the same. At this point it was all about her. I responded by essentially telling him “Get use to it.” For a man who wants to be an equal partner in the raising of his children the hardest part of being a father is not being the mother. It’s probably mostly biology that causes children to be so often clamoring for Mama. I’m often feeling so bad for Mark when he’s essentially begging Noah to let him help with something meanwhile Noah just whines for me. And though some of that has to do with me being the primary around the clock caretaker – that isn’t all of it. I was quite surprised when one of our neighbors who is a stay-at-home Dad confessed that the moment his wife steps in the door from work that the kids want nothing but her. So not only are Dads giving and sacrificing – but often they don’t get the same cooperation, recognition and lavish affection that Moms get. It must be hard.

Mark is a fabulous husband and father. He is appreciative, interested, committed, and loving. He is a great support for me – always wanting to know what he can do to help and how he can make me happier and ease some of my stress. He focuses not only on how to parent children but how to raise well rounded adults. And as with everything he does, he doesn’t give himself enough credit. But anyone who knows Mark or even just reads about Mark on this blog knows that he doesn’t just deserve a card or even a round of applause – that he deserves some sort of medal. But in absence of that a nice breakfast, some cards, kiddie drawings, Tshirts, photos and Reeses peanut butter cups will have to make do. Oh and this – I love you, Mark. Thank you.

Ahoy Matey.

I took the boys to The Franklin Institute today. It was our second visit. The museum is really intended for much older children but there are a few hands on exhibits that really can captivate smaller children. Noah has consistently been asking to walk through the large human heart since our last visit. Today we walked through it twice, learned about the heart, the brain and bones – then learned about The Sky Tonight in the planetarium. It was our first planetarium visit and Noah was really in awe of it. Next we rode the train, sat in the fighter plane and then headed to the special exhibit. When we got to the museum Noah was immediately intrigued by the current special exhibit on pirates. I wasn’t planning on going to it since it was an additional fee but since we got in to the rest of the museum for free I figured why the hell not. And I’m so glad I did – it was pretty breathtaking and Noah really enjoyed the drama of it. It really was on the scary side – there were moments I was even creeped out by the music, the lighting, the pirate mannequins. But Noah is in a stage now where he likes to be a bit scared. I picked up the pace a bit when we got to the part where you walk through a recreation of the ship because Noah was obviously a bit scared but about halfway through he asked to go back to the beginning again. He really enjoyed it. Some of the subject matter of the exhibit was too adult for him – about slavery, drowning and death sentences – but I was able to just sort of whisk him past those parts and tell him what I wanted him to know. I got him a tube of plastic pirate figures to spur on his imagination. Tonight before bed he and Mark were doing a story where the pirates were getting on and off of the trolley to look for their treasure. I had another great day with him. I really love watching Noah soak up new things and I’m always really impressed by what a great student/audience member he is. If you put any person in front of a group or on a stage he will become instantly engrossed no matter the subject matter. He is just a natural learner and I hope that always stays with him.

As you can probably guess Noah has bounced back from his week of darkness. It really seemed to be a product of being overtired after being sick. The other day I thanked him for helping me put away the groceries and he said “I am SO nice.” And I said “Yes, you are.” To which he said “Not like those other days… those were SO BAD.” I was sort of taken aback for a second – I didn’t want to dwell on it or make him feel any more guilty. So I said “You were having a grumpy patch. It happens.” And then we went back to the groceries.

And Ray? He is really mastering this walking thing. He’s also a crazy climber – always trying to haul himself up on things. He’s trouble for sure. But also amazingly fun and adorable. Just thinking about him makes me break into a bemused smile. What a funny little dude.

Day at the Beach

Today we took a day trip to Ocean City. I’d never taken a day trip to the beach with Noah before, despite it only being an hour away. I was always daunted by the idea of being incredibly sandy with no place to clean off before going home. And that is what happened today – I now really need to vacuum out the van. But today was really a fantastic day so I see more in our future. All it took was one friend saying “Hey, you free on Tuesday? We’re thinking of taking the kids to the beach?” And then we asked another friend and the result was four adults and six kids frolicking in the sand and surf. It was Ray’s first beach day. He was intimidated by the ocean – the cold water and the crashing of the waves – but he adores the sand. We dug a wading pool that the ocean filled up for the babies to hang out in. Ray could have stayed in there all day. Meanwhile Noah is in love with the ocean. He just couldn’t get enough. He didn’t even seem to care that the amusement pier was closed. And we got to share it all with friends, friends covered in sand. It was a perfect day. With sand.

In the midst of a feast

The boys. Forced to be affectionate and mug for the camera while trying to consume snacks during one of Noah's pretend picnics.

Check em out yo!

Just a few of my favorite recent photos. The boys at the zoo, hanging in the living room, Master Noah and Mistress Bella and Eggerts men watering our tree on a very hot summer city day.

Just Travelin Man

If Noah didn't keep jumping in front of Ray he might be in Mexico by now.
And the waving? Not sure if that is a balance or an exceitment thing but it must be typical since Ray's little friend Ivan does it too, but with both hands.

It's growing and growing.

So much. So much.

I’ll start with Ray. In the last week he’s gone from taking his first official steps to spanning impressive distances. He’s also saying “Mama,” moving his head back and forth crazily ala Stevie Wonder when he’s happy and eating almost entirely table food and no baby food. He’s still really “world oriented” and by that I mean that he’d rather explore, move, interact and take things apart rather than play with toys. And he picks up skills amazingly fast – he took to drinking out of cups overnight, both in a tip-back sippy and with a straw. I find that particularly amazing since he hadn’t drank from anything other than when he nursed. Like Noah he was never been bottle fed and yet was like “GIVE ME THAT CUP.” It took Noah quite awhile to be in to the whole cup thing. Ray’s also doing a good job of picking up the baby sign language. In the last week he started doing the sign for “No” which I do when I tell him not to do something. And he’s using it a lot – to talk back by saying “No” to me after I’ve said it to him, to ask me if something is okay by signing “No” while touching something and giving me a quizzical look, and just to voice unhappiness by signing it while crying. He’s doing so well with the few signs I’ve used that I really need to add more so he can express himself better. So Ray is really blooming.

Noah however is having a tough time. He’s physically recovered from the pink eye and the days of feverishness but he’s exhausted. His body needs extra sleep but he’s fighting it. He doesn’t nap and he’s getting up at 6 am every morning – despite being a zombie. And his behavior had really been trying. I really was at the end of the rope with him yesterday. He was being so defiant, so stubborn, so difficult, so emotional – and I’m not accustomed to having to deal with that. Over a month ago he went through like a week or so of being really difficult but then it turned around and he was back to being fairly reasonable and angelic for a 3 year old. So hopefully the evilness of the last few days will turn around quickly once he gets some more rest. He’s also on a break from school since his school year ended in mid-May and he doesn’t start the summer program until July – and I think the loss of that structure, socialization time and accountability to other authority figures has something to do with it. Friends have also commented that he seems to have gotten a lot taller and more slender in the last few weeks so maybe a growth spurt is also in the mix. Whatever the reason – things best get back to normal soon. On the upside he’s more into his music now more than ever. Constantly asking me to put on something specific and asking me to turn it up or be quiet so he can hear a certain part. He wants to share his favorites with everyone and feels disappointed when they aren’t as taken with them as he is. After his love of the drama of the Disney ride music I figured he’d like movie soundtrack music so we took a few out of the library. At the moment he is loving the soundtrack to Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire. I also recently bought him a used Ipod Mini on Ebay and a docking station for his room (It’s amazing what great deals you can get on outdated technology) – all of his music was taking all the space up on the used Ipod Mini that I bought for myself last year. And he just loves having his own Ipod. On his own he also decided that we should have a fair schedule for music selection so he decided he got to pick breakfast music, I got lunch and Daddy got dinner. Unless of course if we have lunch guests and then he got to pick the music if he has something he wanted them to hear.

And what is new with me? A lot of food stuff. I’m on a quick diet for the next few weeks to see if I can drop a few more pounds before we go to the beach. I hate dieting. I’m hungry and grumpy – but since I have an end date I can just aim for the light at the end of the tunnel. On a more positive note I finally put together that gas grill that we bought about two months ago. Did I mention that? It was supposed to take 30 minutes to assemble but after three hours I shoved it in a closet for two months. Ahem… well I finished assembling it on Sunday and we’ve been grilling, grilling, grilling. Also we’re high on greens. We joined the Greensgrow CSA again this year and our shares started two weeks ago. This year we got a vegetarian share because I’m weird about certain kinds of meat and there was just too much last year that I wasn’t really interested in cooking. I think we still have two kinds of sausage and a kind of stew meat in our freezer. Plus I was jealous of the vegetarians last year “HEY! They get three other veggies/fruits and all I got was this damn whole chicken.” Anyway – I love the CSA experience. I love that it’s local. I love that it’s good for the planet and our neighborhood. I love that we are trying new veggies and exposing Noah to such a wide variety of garden food. And I love just having to be a bit imaginative in what I’m serving for dinner. It’s not the same handful of things I always cook – it’s like “What am I going to do with collard greens and turnips?” But it’s not all just weird stuff. Tomorrow I pick up strawberries, tomatoes, asparagus, kale, extra sharp cheddar cheese, spring salad mix, mushrooms, spring onions, yogurt, and herbs. YUM. I totally encourage anyone to try out a CSA in the future or at the very least to seek out local farmers markets.

Okay. I am late for watching part one of the Top Chef finale.

The eyes have it.

"My eyebrow is stuck in my eye and it hurts SO BAD."
Noah woke up at 4 am with pink eye.

Are we in Scranton or Seattle?

I’m not a great outdoors kind of person. It’s not that I’m high maintenance. It’s just that I find the whole camping, fishing, hiking thing to be a bit boring. I like to DO STUFF. To SEE THINGS. I prefer excursions to museums, shows and restaurants on vacation. So when we planned our trip to a cottage on Lake Henry I’ll admit I wasn’t too excited. But I was looking forward to sitting outside in the sunshine, eating nice picnic meals and overlooking a lake. However when the weather forecast for our trip wasn’t looking so hot I started dreading vacation. I was very irritable about packing and I could not manage to get up the energy to get excited even a bit. You should pity poor Mark – who was genuinely excited and I was really dragging him down. The Lake House vacation was his dream and I was just being pissy.

And the weather was pretty crummy. Not as bad as it could be – not pouring rain. But cold, grey, and drizzly for the most part. But I’m happy to report we had a really good time anyway. We layered up, put on rain gear and stayed busy. Yes, busy. I don’t find “relaxing” vacations to be fun. Plus I’ve said it before but it bears repeating – vacationing with small children is not relaxing. In fact a SAHM does not really get a vacation because her every day work is still in progress. In fact it may be harder as schedules are thrown out the window and there isn’t a full arsenal of toys and art supplies. Mark said himself that it was just nice for him to not be at work and to be spending more time with the boys – but what could he do for me? So seeing things and going out is what makes it vacation for me. And as I’ve said repeatedly it’s easier for me to have the kids out doing things and seeing things than to entertain them in the house. So we went to the Steamtown Train Museum, the Electric City Trolley Museum, Nay Aug Park, Genesis Wildlife Sanctuary, and MacDade Park. We also paddle-boated, fished (mostly just fed them), kited, and hiked. It wasn’t my dream vacation from the start but I had a really nice time. We made a lot of happy vacation memories and will probably go back to Lake Henry.

Snip Snap.

On Thursday Noah graduated from his first year of preschool. Sniff sniff. They had a little ceremony where the kids got on the stage and sang songs. So cute. I can't believe how quickly the school year went. And he's grown so much. Insane.
The boys are enjoying the new minivan. Particularly their ability to crawl around in it. It's like a playhouse as far as they're concerned. Ray loves meandering around in it so much that he starts pitching a fit when I take him out or strap him in his seat.
And in the last shot Ray tries to enjoy a taste of the tequila he bought me for Mother's Day. Silly boy. Mama didn't leave one last drop.
Should be packing. Bye.

But we don't play soccer!

It’s done. We are now the proud owners of a black 2006 Town & Country minivan. And the process went pretty well. We got more features than we were expecting to get and paid about what we were hoping to pay – so it was a bit of a bargain. And I love that. Now I just have to cross my fingers that it will serve us well. I honestly hope to not have to buy another car for ten years. By which time we should be able to get a nice hybrid.

Gas prices are astounding. I went to visit my Dad last week and figured out that the trip including gas and tolls probably cost $30. And it’s only like an hour away. I don’t know how commuters do it. We’re lucky in that we can use mass transportation, only need one car for our family, and because of proximity don’t typically have to drive that far to places we need to go. Trips to visit family are our only big gas expenses since our parents all live between an hour and hour and a half away. But the minivan can cut down on our short trips which will also help. Noah’s last day of the school year is tomorrow. However he will go there for a summer camp program in July and August on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday from 10:15 am to 12:45pm. And since my neighbor Kate’s daughter is also going, and I can fit another kid in my car we can split up the trips so that Kate takes the kids to school and I pick them up. This is incredibly handy since drop-off is smack in the middle of Ray’s nap. Oh minivan – and this is why we love you.

We were at the car dealership until 10:30 last night. The kids were amazingly well behaved considering they were exhausted and trapped there. Some of the highlights of the experience were Noah deciding we had to buy the convertible Crossfire with red leather seats (“Mama! There is a car with no roof!”), Ray eating his first lollipop (or Taffy as the true Philadelphians say) and holding on to it like a smack addict, and Noah’s wonder at the whole process (“It comes with it’s OWN KEYS!” and “There is so much room. It’s magical!”) Also I refrained from turning on the TV in the playroom until after we had been there two hours. At which point Noah became instantly enamored with the Dora DVD. He’d never seen Dora before and this morning he keeps asking me about it. “Wasn’t that Dora movie fun? Didn’t you like it?”

Next week we leave for a short vacation to the exotic hinterlands of Scranton, PA. No, I’m not applying for a job at Dunder Mifflin. We are renting a small cabin on Lake Henry for a rural getaway. I’m not too into woodland myself – probably because my Mom’s house is in the woods and as a kid I felt stifled by my inability to walk anywhere and do anything – but I know Noah will enjoy it. Plus it will be good to get away. We haven’t been anywhere since we went to the beach with my Mom last June. Unfortunately it looks like it’s going to be a rainy week. I think I may have to run out and buy us all rain boots (wellies!) and ponchos.

Vandango

I’ve had buyers remorse for quite some time. Last year at this time we traded in our Saturn mini-wagon for a Subaru Forrester. We couldn’t fit a second car seat in the Saturn while accommodating Mark’s extreme need for leg room. We got a Forrester because I thought we needed something just slightly bigger –without feeling like we were driving a behemoth and still easy to parallel park. Plus, though I’m not particularly vain about cars I had a penchant for the Forrester. Something about it’s design really appealed to me. And I really have loved driving it. However we might be trading it in as early as tonight.

We’re sucking up our pride and buying a minivan. The problem with the Forrester is that it only fits the four of us and occasionally that’s inconvenient. With gas prices as they are I really would like to carpool with some other mothers (to Noah’s school and on field trips) but I can’t fit one more car seat in the Subaru. We can’t pick up my teen sister (she just turned 13 yesterday!) for a visit and have our whole family in the car. We can’t take my Dad out to eat. It really is annoying. So minivan it is. We should have made that jump in the first place but I just wasn’t willing to do it yet. I guess I’m more vain about cars than I had thought.

What sucks is that we will be losing money on our Forrester. We will probably trade it in because I’ve been told the market for SUVs is pretty soft. Of course this will also affect our trade-in. Money down the drain. But I guess a year of excellent service is worth something.

After fixating for quite some time and doing a lot of online research we’re going to look at minivans tonight. I’m leaning toward a 2007 Sedona, 2005 Sienna or 2006 Town & Country. If you have any news on any of these please share.

A gift

Motherhood is a gift. I am so incredibly thankful for my two beautiful boys and the opportunity to spend each and every day watching them learn and grow. Being a mother has changed my life drastically - and I'm not referring to my inability to make plans at a moments notice, sleep in and stay out drinking until all hours. My life feels richer, warmer and more meaningful. I always wanted to be a mother and in becoming one and striving to raise happy, healthy children I truly feel that I'm fulfilling the most important part of my destiny. And I feel so incredibly lucky that I get to share the joys and trials of parenthood with Mark. Actually, forget luck. I will take full credit for that because I really could not have made a better choice - for me, for us. But thank you to the gods, the fates, and the universe for being cooperative. And of course thank you, Mom for being so loving. And now I'm passing it on. I don't give myself alot of credit and I'm sure I could do alot of things better than I do - but I do know that my kids feel incredibly loved. And will continue to do so even when they are evil teens and scoff at my silly syrupy sweet affection.

Days at play!

We're spending our days at the parks. "It's such a beautiful day," Noah says. "I want to eat all my meals outside."

Yesterday Ray went on his first carousel ride. When it started to spin he had a moment of fear which quickly turned into amazed bewilderment.

Ray is starting to make his way around the play equipment. He's so excited and adventurous. I have to walk behind him with my hands at the ready in case he starts to tumble.

I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you.

Have I mentioned that Noah can be very secretive? Whenever I ask him what he did at school or dance class he always starts by telling me he doesn’t remember. It makes me batty. I am SO desperate to know every little detail – I’d kill to spy on him. One week I was so frustrated with him being coy that I nearly started crying. I need to step back and be more patient. I know he’s trying to assert his independence. (NO! NO!) Slowly over the course of an evening, or even the week details start to trickle in. He's even more forthcoming with Mark, maybe because Mark isn't clamoring for details. Also – he has developed a nervous tick of chewing on his clothing. Often his shirt right under his chin or his shirt cuff is wet. He does it most often when he is socially anxious. I prefer it over the teeth grinding which he does occasionally but it’s still worse than the repetitive tapping of each individual finger on his thumb that he gets from his father. On the plus side he’s been sleeping really great for the last couple of weeks. He’s always been such a poor sleeper – regularly waking up at one point during the night and needing us to sit with him briefly to get back to sleep. But for weeks that has happened rarely. I’ve been too scared to talk about it for fear of jinxing it. Shhh.

A tale of intrigue, of desire, of triumph:
We finished dinner and Noah was eating his dessert. Ray was exploring the toy bins. I had to run downstairs to get a load of the boys’ laundry out of the dryer. I told Noah to keep an eye on Ray as I gated the kitchen off with the pack and play. When I came back upstairs I saw Ray had crossed the length of the kitchen and was now standing right by the pack and play. He was gurgling excitedly and smiling devilishly. “What are you up to little man?” It looked like he was eating something. “Noah, did you give Ray something to eat?” As I stuck my fingers in Ray’s mouth Noah said “Hey, where is my Hershey’s Kiss?” Noah had unwrapped it and set it on the table as he fiddled with the paper flag – at which point Ray must have made his way over to it, grabbed it surreptitiously, crossed the room with it and popped it into his mouth. And success was sweet.

A new song by Noah:
“I have a baby on my shoulder. I have a bird on my head.
I have a spider on my hand. Oh, where is my friend?”

Apropos of nothing, a vision for the future:
“Someday when we have a party I want to limbo.”

A letter to Disney

The other day when Noah was blathering on about Disneyworld, I’m not even sure of the specific topic of conversation, Mark made a half-muttered smart-ass statement (as he is want to do) “Write a letter to Walt Disney.” I remember it clearly because I found it both funny and inflammatory, but luckily Noah didn’t respond so I thought we were in the clear.

Yesterday morning we had this exchange:
“I want to write a letter to Walt Disney like Daddy said.”
“Oh… Really? What do you want it to say?”
“Dear Walt Disney, I don’t know why the Tiki birds talk. Your rides are the bestest. Love Noah.”
“That sounds like a very nice letter.”
I then called Mark and explained the situation. He asked if I told Noah that Walt Disney was dead. I confessed I did not. When I got off the phone with Mark it went something like this:
“Daddy says he thinks Walt Disney is dead.”
“Why?”
“Because Disneyworld was created a long time ago and Walt Disney was very old.”
“I don’t think he is. I think he just disappeared. Maybe he is on vacation.”
“Where do you think he went on vacation?”
“Maybe Lancaster.”
“Could be.”
And this evening Noah said “When we go to Disneyworld we will find out if Daddy is right about Walt Disney being dead.” To which I responded "Sure. I think someone might know there."

On the news front Ray’s lip is heeled but he gave himself a slight shiner when he fell this afternoon. I’d be pretty pissed off with all the injuries that boy inflicts on himself but he’s just as smiley and goofy as ever. I got a call from the pediatrician saying he was marginally anemic and then recommending I start inundating him with iron drops. I've decided to not heed their suggestion initially and instead try to increase my iron as well as Ray's via diet. Ray isn't being too helpful though since he refuses to eat any baby cereal which is the best source. Who told him he had a say in what he eats? Noah never realized he did.

On Saturday Noah started a swimming class and since then he’s been practicing floating in his bathtub. His teacher told him to pretend he was looking up at the stars. I took him to see Go, Dog, Go on Saturday afternoon and he really enjoyed it. On Sunday myself and the boys went to visit my Dad and Oma and Mark got to stay home and clean the bathroom. Today I hosted art group – every other week a handful of Moms switch off hosting and organizing a project. The kids typically create very briefly and then switch to play while Moms snack and chat. Today we painted large terra cotta pots. Noah typically stays interested in the art project the longest, as he did again today. Not only did he completely cover his whole pot in paint during art group but he also painted two more pots in the afternoon. My friend Janette was also able to come today with her son Jules and new baby boy Rendle. It hasn’t been THAT long since Ray was 6 weeks old – only 9 months. But it seems like a gazillion years ago. It’s so weird.

I was looking back at old blog posts the other night. I like to go back and look at what I said about Noah when he was as old as Ray is now and mull endlessly over how different and yet amazing they are. But what is so striking about looking at the old blog posts is how much and how often I blogged. Like over 400 posts a year! And not just a bunch of photos either. In depth information about what he was eating, how he was sleeping, what he was learning, how I was feeling. It’s crazy! Not only do I now have NO time to devote to journaling like that but I don’t even think I THINK about it all that much. And Ray is just growing so fast and I can barely take in what is going on with him let alone save it for posterity. It makes me feel a little sad. If I have a third I’d have to resort to one word posts once a month.

Mouthy

Poor Ray. He fell, led with his mouth and got himself a very bloody, mangled lip. With all the learning to walk bangs and bruises he has it's a miracle we don't have the authorities at our door. And the other photos are of the boys sitting in the hatch eating water ice. Ahhh - the joys of warm weather.

Bigger every day

Here are some shots from our recent zoo and circus outings.
Ray had his 9 month checkup yesterday. Turns out he's actually lost a bit of bulk. Though he's still 90 percentile in length and 95 for head, he's now only 75 for weight. He weighed in at 21 pounds, 12 ounces and I'm sure I weighed him around 23/24 at some point in the last month or so. I guess all that wiggling around is taking off the pounds.
Another boy started in Noah's dance class this week. I don't think he really cared that he was with all girls, but it eased my mind just in case. I asked his teacher how he was doing and she said he was really focused - that all the other kids were running around willy-nilly and he was standing there, staring at her waiting for the next set of instructions.
Noah's current hit song goes like this: "He thinks he's a hero like Indiana Jones. Come on! Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah (tarzan yell)."

Tiddly bits

I fell in love with the school we toured last week. Small class size. Smart, involved students. Humble classrooms, an admirable set of principles and a real family atmosphere. Though it’s relatively cheap for a private school it isn’t actually cheap – but I keep thinking about how this school seems like it would be an excellent partner in helping us raise our children like we want them to be raised and that seems priceless. But we have more school research to do.

The kids loved the circus. Noah stared at all in complete concentration and awe. Ray, who is now a pointing, clapping fool, found much to point and clap about. We also had a great time at the zoo on Friday. We organized a group outing with some of our neighborhood Mommy network. It was nice to see the kids romping around together and also great to hand them off to each other for bathroom breaks, etc. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – networking with other Moms makes my job much more doable and enjoyable. I’m so thankful to have met so many women at home with kids of like ages in my neighborhood, at the playground, and at playgroup. I now have about 10 other mothers that I regularly make playdates with. Meeting people easily in public spaces is one of the very best things about the city.

We spent the bulk of this weekend in our “yard.” A friend gave me some of her plants and in doing so also gave me the motivation to actually plant flowers in pots again this year. And once we got back there and started poking around we remembered that we needed a new table set and FINALLY a gas grill. Though I haven’t had the time and peace of mind to put the grill together yet (80 freakin pieces!) we have been eating meals at our new outdoor table. The only problem is that the boys get filthy every time I take them out there – covered in sand and sidewalk chalk – and then they track it all over the house. When is the damn cleaning service coming?

I was very excited to get out and see a grand performance of Hedwig and the Angry Inch on Saturday. I was a fan of the movie (did you know my Oma's name is Hedwig) and a fan of the local actor so it was a necessity that I go. And of course Dito rocked it. Ah… how I miss the theater.

And as is always the case when the kids are in bed – I should be sleeping. Adieu.

The power of sound

For the last week I have been thinking of the Oscars. Right before they announce the Oscars for best song they have someone come out and give a big spiel about how important music is to the movies. To illustrate it they show two movie clips of the same scene, one without music and one with. Of course the clip without the backing track is ho hum while the other one is STUNNING. They illustrate the power of music to stir up the drama, bring on the emotion and make it memorable.

I took out a few CDs from the library a couple of weeks ago. I just grabbed a few off the shelf because keeping up with Ray doesn’t really allow me to browse. One of the CDs I got had to do with Disney’s 50th anniversary. I had assumed it was like a greatest Disney hits CD. This was more for me than Noah as he hasn’t seen any Disney movies. (I’m saving them for when he’s older.) But I grabbed the disc feeling a bit nostalgic for my own childhood. But when I played the Disney 50 disc I soon realized it was songs from Disney RIDES not movies. And though I have been to Disneyworld quite a few times (it really was the closest thing to a regular vacation my Mom took me on – she really loves it and my great Grandparents lived nearby) I was sort of like “Oh well this stinks. But at least I can sing along to ‘It’s a small world.” However Noah was HOOKED. And not just on the disc, which we have listened to like 100 times. He is hooked on Disney. Just like that. With no movie exposure whatsoever. He’s constantly asking anyone who will listen what each ride is like (“Tell me about the Tiki birds,” “What do you remember about Space Mountain?” or “What do they sing at the Country Bear Jamboree?”), asking to see clips of the rides on Youtube and of course inquiring “WHEN ARE WE GOING?” What really got him were the "scary ghosty songs" namely the drama and intrigue of the music for the Indiana Jones ride, Pirates of the Carribbean and the Haunted Mansion. The power of thrilling audio has openned the Disney floodgates. Mark is a bit besides himself because he thinks Disney is the evil empire (you have to admit the marketing is INSANE) though I’m sure part of that is about being bitter that he never went to the Disney parks when he was a kid. But I’m sure he’ll be going some day. Chin up, little Mark. All Noah’s talk probably has Grandma planning her next visit and ours in 2013. To prep Mark I sent him to this Disneyworld article in Slate that I enjoyed courtesy of The Cleaner Plate Club.

Speaking of Grandma (because who isn’t?), Noah enjoyed his first overnight away from home at her place this weekend. I’ve been told he was very well behaved and I know he had an absolute blast. Two of my Mom’s husband’s granddaughters also slept over and the three of them played outside with the grandparents all evening (tag, kickball, glowsticks) before enjoying some Wii. Sounds like a fun night, right? And I only got a little weepy… it’s just the house was so very quiet. But Noah didn’t miss me in the least. “I was too busy having fun” he explained.

Noah’s also been hanging out a lot with his imaginary friend Annie again. And now she has a posse. Their names are Mister, Cotton, and Dinosaur. Today Noah packed them an imaginary picnic lunch while I readied our actual picnic lunch before spending three glorious hours in perfect park weather. Also sparking the imagination of Master Noah is the idea of actually hanging out with the characters of his favorite shows. “Mama, tell me a story about the Backyardigans, Curious George, Me and Ray going to the beach.” Or to Lancaster, the zoo, or even just grocery shopping. Oh and Noah started his dance class this week. I signed him up for a Movement to Music class and he’s already loving it. They played different styles of music - classic, rock, world and talked about different kinds of movement. They danced with hula hoops and moved like different animals. Or so he tells me - Ray and I went to get an iced coffee. Noah didn't blink once when I left him there, he was so excited. It's going to be a lot of fun for him. And hopefully he’ll learn some more moves for his “acrobatter” routines. The old ones are getting a little played out. I’m having a harder time feigning astonishment after seeing them endlessly.

Tomorrow is busy. We have an open house for a school we might like to send Noah to in 2010 (yes, it’s ridiculous that we have to already research this stuff), an art group meeting, a long overdue Mama haircut, and then a night at the circus. And yes- sad, sad elephants. Also sad chickens, cows, and pigs for that matter – but unless you’re a vegan (like Lonna) it seems really weird to be deciding which animals to be outraged about while not others. That's just my humble opinion. And my boy likes circuses DAMMIT. I did explain to him that some people are concerned about the elephants and as a result won't go to the circus. At least I am keeping him fully informed.

Can't get enough

Noah writes what he knows. And Ray tries to make it a collaborative effort.

I recorded three other songs and posted them to youtube. If you are a glutton you can hit the Family Videos on Youtube link on the right of the page and see them as well as a few others that I didn't post to the blog.

Spinnin

Ray is making great strides in the race to become a fully mobile boy. But it isn't all just about standing and cruising. Balance is key and Ray has taken to experimenting. From a sitting position he will lean slightly back until he feels his balance shift and he's about to topple over. And then for some reason he turns himself around and does it again. He thinks it's great fun. And it makes Mark and I hysterical. Of course Noah couldn't possibly miss out on the acrobatic action.

Wastin my down time. As usual.

Mark and Noah just left on an adventure to go see Nana and Pop Pop. Ray just went down for a nap. If the napping gods are good to me I might have two whole hours to myself. I am going to try to not waste it all on the computer. I have laundry to do (YIPPY!) and a book to read. So I’ll try and make this brief. I have a million videos and pictures I could post but feel like I’m overdoing that.

Aside from when I was in the hospital after giving birth to Ray, this is only the second time Noah has been away from me for the day. And he’s never been away from me overnight. Kind of insane, right? I know. I’m getting better at letting go – I need to. He’s ready and I’m tired. And my Noah-free time isn’t exactly vacation. I’ve still got Ray to attend to. And I probably won’t be away from him for more than a few hours for at least another six months. It’s hard work being a clingy bitch.

Ray is in a developmental whirlwind. He’s getting his sixth tooth. He’s clapping. He’s signing for milk and all done. He’s really steady on his feet and cruising. He’s discovering sand and dirt – and how they taste. And he is hysterical. I really do love this age. So much learning. And it’s amazing just watching his little personality bloom. He’s such a fun-loving little daredevil. Already at this age you could tell how smart Noah was – the way he would really play and analyze toys. But you could also tell how cautious he was, especially socially. However Ray is all about motoring around and sticking things in his mouth. He doesn’t have much interest in toys otherwise. Except to use them as drums. He loves making noise with things. And he is a lot more social with adults, children and other babies. He’s very good natured and easy going. But he’s also stubborn and not as easily steered out of trouble like Noah was. I don’t think I will ever stop being amazed at how different they are. And yet both so unbelievably awesome. Not that I’m biased.

I don’t know what else to say about Noah that I haven’t said a million times before. He’s so smart, so imaginative, so musical, so affectionate. He’s just learning constantly and loving life. And yet he’s also three and very emotional at times. He can get angry or start freaking out about the smallest thing. And he’s at that stage where he gets so frustrated being told what to do all the time. Of not being in control. He’ll say “Things aren’t the way I want them to be.” And he’s such a restrained well-behaved little boy that you can see him wrestling with demons. I can tell when he’s angry how bad he wants to lash out and hit or push but he knows he shouldn’t so he’ll knock something over or grunt and push into me without using his hands. Or drop to the floor crying. I’m happy to say he is usually easily coaxed out of these little fits and even happier to say that they really only happen with us and at home. He wouldn’t dare act out where others could see him. But GOD this stage can be taxing. It’s wearing me out. Every day I hit a point where I’m tired of managing him through his little emotional breakdowns – especially while trying to tend to Ray. I don’t know how people who have kids with real behavior issues hold it together. My guess is that they probably get more breaks.

And that is why Noah and Mark are on an adventure. Oh… and I’m wasting all Ray’s napping time on the computer. Bye.

Here comes the sun!

FINALLY! We are able to spend some time outdoors. Here are some snaps of the boys playing in the back "yard" with weeds and sand, lovin the swings, swashbuckling with friends after "Pirate Day" at school, and about to go out for a walk.

Now I know my ABCs.

On Easter my cousin told me her five year old daughter had a Kindergarten screening the following day. Screening for what? They were checking to make sure she knew how to write her name – in upper and lower case, that she knew her address and phone number, to identify numbers and other such early educational milestones. My cousin then told me that if her daughter did not know this information she would be put in a summer program to ready children for Kindergarten. A pre-Kindergarten summer school, if you will. And this is public school. I was blown away by this. It’s not that I think Noah won’t learn all that stuff in two and a half years – he knows most of it now. I just thought those were the types of things kids learned in Kindergarten. That and it totally is in contrast with my own personal experience.

A couple of years ago I taught first grade for a year. In one of the cities poorest neighborhoods. I worked as a co-teacher to a very frustrated, unmotivated man who still today fluctuates between teaching and painting houses. Most of the kids came to our class knowing very little, even after a year of Kindergarten. Some of them were not English speaking, some of them were obviously learning disabled (I suspect lead), and a lot of them seemed to suffer from post traumatic stress disorder because their parents were inattentive, cruel, drug addicted, and/or in jail. The neighborhood was multicultural – the uniting factor was extreme poverty. This was a neighborhood of people whom education had failed and therefore it wasn’t a priority for parents to teach their kids, to be involved in their children’s schooling. I’m sure many of the kids didn’t even have books in their homes – though big TVs and video game systems were abundant. The general attitude was that it was the school’s and the teacher’s responsibility to do all the teaching. We got no support. And I am sad to say that even when I had the opportunity to work one-on-one with a student, which was rare since the students with severe behavior issues took up so much of our teaching time, any progress that I felt was made would be so quickly wiped away by a few days out of school. I cried almost every day for those kids. And I decided very early into the school year that I wasn’t going to do it another year but that I should stick it out until the school year ended so as not to add more change and uncertainty to the lives of these children. The lead teacher held the reins on the class pretty tight in that he didn’t want me usurping his authority and didn’t like me doing any lesson planning, which was odd because he was to disenfranchised and lazy to do it himself. I tried to focus on providing a nurturing environment to the classroom because I wasn’t really permitted to do much more. Shamefully I realize that many of those kids finished that year not knowing much more than they did when they started. And probably didn’t even know enough to get in my cousin’s daughter’s Kindergarten class, despite being passed into second grade because failing them would mean my lead teacher would have to do a whole lot of paperwork and extra work he refused to do as well as angering the parents who would probably show up to school for the first time when they found out their kid failed. The whole experience was eye-opening and disheartening. I think of those kids SO often, wondering how they will turn out, if they will ever get a break. It seems unlikely.

So in contrast expecting all the kids to know core educational milestones prior to setting foot in the school system seems insane. What do you think? Any experience with your school district expectations?

Short posts?

Taking a cue from Julie I will try to post short posts more often rather than waiting for more free time that never comes.

After my last post I was struck down by a stomach virus in the middle of the night. I felt very lousy for 24 hours and was unable to take Noah to his skating party. I’m happy to report that Mark took a half day to take him. I’m told that Noah was a determined little skater who fell a couple of times and kept on skating. He came home so proud that he had skated all by himself. And I think Mark was proud too. Though I’m disappointed I missed it and certainly did not enjoy vomiting, I think it turned out for the best. The two of them had some real quality time together.

Easter was grand. We saw almost all our immediate family in one day. Noah was so wrapped up in playing with his cousins that when I'd check on him he'd practically say "Scram, Ma. You're cramping my style." Noah participated in six egg hunts and we have insane amounts of candy. That won't help me lose more weight.

Ray is now off his Reflux meds. Yay! He's also quite snuffly again. Hope that passes quickly without infecting others. Have I mentioned he is incredibly sweet, squishy, cuddly and lovely? I knew I would love another baby but was not sure I could be head over heels in love with him as I am with Noah. And I am. Ray isn't Noah. He's Ray. And I adore him. He is such a funny little guy - constantly making me chuckle.

Last week when Noah was playing in the theater in The Discovery Museum a woman came in to teach a kids acting class and said we could stay. The class was a bit stage-motherish in a wierd way - teaching kids stage directions, improvisation and voice projection. The youngest kid in the class was about two years older and Noah was a bit too shy to completely participate. But he did listen to the teacher and do what she instructed. At the end of the class the instructor told me she was amazed at his attention span. Which I always am. He's such an amazing little student.

After much internal debate we paid a deposit for Noah to go to the same school next year rather than send him someplace with more time. I realized if Noah was in school for three 6 hour days I would be inclined to just have him at home the other two weekdays - and less likely to have him out on all our field trips to the museums, the zoo, the library. And he really enjoys those and learns alot. And so do I. Plus then we can spend some extra money signing him up for additional classes - like music, art, dance, tumbling. So for one more year I am going to hoard him. He'll be away all day soon enough. I'm going to keep enjoying having me with him while I can.

I often feel bad for Mark. On weekdays he'll leave before the day really gets started and get home for the business end of the day - just wrangingling two kids through dinner, bath, bed. By the time he gets home all the fun stuff is done and we're all worn out. And I realize that is how it is for so many parents. And one day it will be so for me too. So I have to enjoy these days while I have them. As exhausted as I may be. I'll never get them back again.

Oh crap. That wasn't short at all. I suck at short.

He ain't heavy.

Ray eats. Noah chats.

Dishwasher

He'll make you want to do dishes.

The Pulp of the matter

We call Ray the pulper. He loves table food. And by that I mean that he loves not baby food but food you wouldn’t normally give to infants. He puts it in his mouth mashes it up, moves it around with his tongue and spits it out. He does not swallow. So at the end of normal meal Ray is covered in a plethora of slimy gummed pieces of cheese stick, banana, pretzels, veggie booty, fruit leather, apples, oranges, etc. It’s actually pretty nasty to clean him up. And the baby food – bah. He’ll eat a few spoonfuls of fruit but he could take it or leave it.

Ray loves to stand. He’s in love with anything that is the perfect height to hold on to. Like the dishwasher. He could stand all day at the open dishwasher pulling silverware out and tossing it to the floor. It’s making Mark’s job very hard. He also adores the tub. Not just the water, which he really adores, but also standing at the side of the big tub. Leaning over, trying to throw himself in. And he’s climbing stairs. May the Gods help us. We haven’t gated. Our house has hard to gate areas that may never be gated. I guess we better keep our eyes on him.

And once again Noah is all about the egg hunting. I am not exaggerating when I tell you we have about 20 a day. He hides the eggs while I pretend to sleep, then after I seek we switch. We’ve also begun putting little toys in the plastic eggs so that we can surprise each other with our bounty. The funniest thing is that Noah will just show me where he has hidden the eggs if I hesitate even a moment. Unless of course he forgets where one is and then he tells me he was being “tricky” while we look together.

Tonight I went out with the girls. I agonized about it for a week. What would I wear – and the answer was nothing of interest. I decided in the end not trying was better than trying and failing miserably. What would happen if I was away and they needed me? Amazingly enough no one self destructed despite bedtime issues. Mark handled everything quite admirably. Especially for someone who doesn’t get enough credit. It was nice to be out. It helped to alleviate some stress. At least some of the stress I was feeling about going out. And I was only a little heartbroken when Mark told me that before Noah fell asleep he asked “Why do those three people not want Mama to bring me?”

Noah is downright obsessed with The Backyardigans. We bought one of the discs last year and listened to it quite a bit and Mark bought Noah a new one a couple of weeks ago. Oddly enough we were more familiar with the music than the actual show. So as Noah is now watching the episodes he gets super excited when he recognizes the songs. He is also constantly talking about the cast. He refers to them as Pablo, Uniqua, Tascha, the Moose and Austin the Kangaroo. And he’s constantly amazed that not every character is in every episode. After he watches one he tells me who was there and who wasn’t and then guesses that maybe Austin was out shopping with his Mama. I’m pretty sure I have the bulk of the songs memorized and that I also hear Backyardigans songs in my dreams.

We’re finally getting out more. SPRING IS COMING! I have plans to do something with the boys everyday between now and next Friday. Tomorrow Noah’s class is having a rollerskating party. I bought him trainer inline skates today. He needs a lot more practice. I guess tomorrow I’m going to be hauling him around the rink in my sneakers, with a baby who is missing his naptime strapped to me of course. It should make for an interesting two hours.

Just keep swimming

Last Tuesday was great. It was like a fog lifted. We were all seeming well and we headed out on an excursion. We went to the Adventure Aquarium. Noah hadn’t been in a year and Ray had never been. Noah enjoyed it SO much more than he did last time. Last time he was cautious about the low lighting and frightened of the sharks. This time he was mystified by everything, especially the sharks. I think he could of watch the shark tank for an hour. He just thought they were so cool. And we also “talked” to some scuba divers in the tank. They swam up to the glass and began showing us some shark teeth. Ray was transfixed by the fishes too. I’d put him up next to the glass and he’d try to talk to them. Chattering away, tapping on the glass. On the way out we hit the gift shop. Noah got an assortment of hard plastic sea creatures including a sawfish which had been his favorite thing during the day. And Ray of course got a ray. It was such a nice day. To be out, experiencing the world and watching my boys at work in it. That’s what I love. And it had been FAR too long.

Oh- and I am now officially freaked out by hippoes. Seeing those enormous things prance around in the water right in front of you is damn frightening. The sharks didn’t wig me out, but all I could think of when I saw that hippo was “Any second now he’s coming through that glass to crush us all.” I was smart enough not to talk about my anxiety when we were at the aquarium but no so smart when I discussed it with Mark over dinner. Suddenly during bath time Noah had to get out of the tub before the jumping hippoes got him. Smart Mom.

So Tuesday was fun. And we had our art group on Wednesday and it was great to see friends. It was a nice break. A short one. By Thursday I was full on sick again. I couldn’t freakin believe it. I was the wasted, fevered, walking dead wheeling Ray around Target in circles while Noah was in school. It seemed easier to put him in a cart and entrance him with the colorful commercialism than it was to take him home and try to entertain him. I didn’t even buy anything. Just hauled my sickly ass around. Pathetic.

On Saturday I gathered it together enough to take Noah to a lunch playdate at Frannies – where he mostly just watched as three little girls dressed up and played mind games with each other. Ah girls – already setting up social hierarchies and ridiculing each other. Crazy. And that night Noah was very excited to finally go see our neighbors’ band play at a local record store. Steve and Krista are married and live next door. They are also both incredibly helpful, attractive, and talented rockin hipsters. I think we all collectively have a crush on them. How could you not? Noah has been anxious to see their band. We’ve had to explain to him that rock bands typically play at bars past his bedtime but when The Swimmers had a daytime show we would take him. And we finally got our chance. He loved it – though of course that means he just sat their slack jawed looking distraught and saying not much of anything during or right after the show but will now continue to talk about it for a month.

This weekend Mark also did some cleaning up, bless his soul. He kind of owed me for the time I gave him to work on his music (new songs on MySpace) in the basement. So it’s a little cleaner around here. Just a little. But it helps.

And it’s Monday and I’m still not right. I’ve been ill with one thing or another for the greater part of a month. I don’t think I’ve ever been this sick, this long. It bites. And Noah seems like he’s having a snotty resurgence too. Sheesh.

It’s been such a draining month. I am eager for the rejuvenating effects of spring. I’m already planning a million outings. The flower show, an egg hunt, a play, the circus. I’m sure I’m over doing it but I’m just so eager to DO SOMETHING. And I need to do something for myself too. Real bad. But what? At the moment I’ve decided that what I can do to be a far more calm and sophisticated me is to buy a bunch of new exotic teas. THAT should fix everything.