Friday, July 29, 2005

NO.

Prior to Noah’s mobilization I didn’t have to say “No.” Now I say it a lot – to keep him away from wires, electronics, stairways and cabinets. And when I say it Noah stops, looks at me curiously and then very, very slowly goes back to what he was doing. Until I say no again and then we repeat. It’s a bit draining but in a way it’s interesting watching him test the boundaries of his world. Mark and I are trying to be very deliberate with our “No” because I’m worried he’ll get his name confused with it. So I’m trying not to use his name as a warning and also to shake my head and make a sign with my hand every time I say No.” I hope it works.

I was reading a (gasp) parenting book last night and came across this:

Teaching Baby to Be Calm
If you get upset of angry when things don’t go your way, your baby may do the same. He’s like a little sponge that absorbs everything around him, including what you do. Be a good role model. If you do the right thing, your child will model that behavior. When he spills juice, clean it up calmly. You’ll teach him about dealing with problems in a mature way. If you yell, you teach him to get angry and upset when things go wrong.


Boy did this hit home. You see I’ve got a bit of a temper. Maybe you haven’t seen it, maybe you have. It was a lot worse when I was younger but I began thinking in the last couple of years that I had outgrown it a bit. But when I got pregnant it returned and it was hot. I had assumed it was the hormones. Postpartum I still have it though not quite as bad, but I’m still nursing so maybe I can still blame it on the hormones. I hope. Anyway – my temper flares up easily these days when I’m frustrated with something I’m doing or I’m late. I don’t scream - I slam inanimate objects to the ground and stomp about in frustration. This happens for a second until I go straight to “Screw this, I just can’t do it. It’s impossible” and sit down. Not really mature, I know. And not anything I want Noah to do or remember me by. So I really need to reign it in. For all of our sakes – hormonal or no Maybe I need to do some sort of breathing exercise or have some sort of mantra I can say to myself when I start to get stressed out by a task. Any suggestions?

4 comments:

amandak said...

Deep Breaths are always good. I tried to teach both my kids about deep breaths early, or belly breaths as we call them. Sometimes it really helps them calm down. I've been bad lately about employing my own deep breaths, but it does help when you remember.

Jen O. said...

Sometimes even realizing that you're being irrational or unnecessarily angry is the most difficult part. If you find that you’re freaking out, stop for a moment, breathe, think about what’s really making you angry, and try to put it into perspective. Is it really that big a deal? Is it truly insurmountable? You’ll almost always be able to react more rationally when given prespective.

Katy said...

I wish I had a suggestion for you. When I feel like that I just crawl into myself and glare at everybody that gets close. I do have a mantra though. If I can catch myself before I blow my top I close my eyes and say ooooohhmmmmm. It's silly, but the fact that I find a way to laugh at myself helps a lot.

patrice said...

being pregnant helped you stop smoking instantly. maybe thinking about noah being that little sponge will snap you out of your funk instantly too?