"Boat!"

One of Ray's new words is boat.

Got gator?

Chomp.

Boating

Enjoying an ecological tour of St. James River. Gators and egrets and herons, oh my.

Slow morning

The boys are taking time to relax and regroup before another busy day.

Radio Barbara

Aunt Barb holds a little listening party for the boys.

Baby Appetit

Gettin the troops fed before a day at the Alligator Farm.

The view from here

Nothing between us and the ocean but A1A.

AT THE BEACH

A motley bunch out on the town on a crappy day.

Check and mate

I'm schoolin the youngins on the scholarly pursuits. But only in the wee hours of the morn.
Today might be a chess day. It's been crazy windy and rainy. So much so that I'm shocked this storm doesn't have a name. Word has it thought that the rest of the week will be lovely.

I'd need bigger bags

We don't have to leave til next Wednesday. But already I'm wondering if I can abscond with Elisha and Hunter. I really hate being so far from people I love so much.

Cuzzins

It's been almost a year since we've seen Elisha and Hunter. That is far too long.

Number of the day

For days he has been looking forward to writing numbers in the sand. He saw it on Sesame Street.

not so sure

He is both jubilant and overwhelmed by the beach today. It might take him a few days to warm back up to it.

Takin in the local flavor

Stopped for late lunch in Orange City. Now to get back on road for one hour drive to Flagler.

On the move

We're off. Well, actually we're waiting around in the airport. But soon we will be winging our way to Florida to see my sisters. Peace out.

Another blogger, another post about weight

At this point in my life I can’t indulge myself with time or money. And so at the end of a hard day when I’m looking to reward myself for making it through, just keeping it together until bedtime, I have food and drink. Something sweet, a margarita, a glass of wine – something to look forward to sharing with my husband as the night unravels. And yet I am well aware that it is these treats that are preventing me from losing the last bit of weight that plagues me daily.

As far as I am concerned there is a five pound difference between my pants fitting comfortably and looking good and being too tight and looking like a cow. In fact I look pregnant. Those pounds go right to my midsection, and I look like I’m carrying low. I plan on dieting but sense of entitlement overcomes my willpower and I get nowhere.

Last month I lost some weight. But then I got sick a couple of times and it took me forever to recover so I convinced myself that it really wasn’t right to diet and nurse. Ray nurses regularly – about 5 to 6 times a day, and he shows no interest in cutting down. I feel that I should wait until he at least cuts down to really go back on a stringent diet, but then I look in the mirror and I want to spit at myself.

I’m not a tiny, thin person and never will be. I’ve come to grips with that over the years. But I do want to be a bit thinner. It’s not the pant size so much as areas of bulginess that make any size fit uncomfortably. But it’s so damn hard to do the work. And when I’ve done some of the work it takes a snap of the fingers for it to come right back.

At least it is fall. In the last two weeks people keep commenting that I look thinner when in fact I have gained a few pounds. I can attribute this to two things. One – it’ getting colder so my clothes can be a bit bulkier and more forgiving. And two – people must think of me as heavier than I really am, so when they see me they think I have lost weight.

Spot the boy

So Noah's rash is as we expected - just the end stage of his virus and not contagious. But damn does it look troubling. I keep trying to take pictures to depict just how spotty he is, but they always seem mild in comparison. I didn't send him to school today because activity and sweating make him itchy unless I dose him with Benadryl, and then he's a tired hot mess. The doc said he would be a bit achey and tired, and damn he is moody. (HELP!) It could go away in about a week but traces might linger for longer.

When it pours, it deluges

Last night Noah broke out in a head to toe rash. It's most likely an end stage of the virus he had last week, and not contagious. But we have a doc appt. this morning just to be certain. Poor guy is pretty damn spotty and a bit itchy.

Health Update

Noah is a million times better today. Yesterday his fever and sore throat were gone but his energy level was still rock bottom. But today he is his vibrant, playful, chatty self. Thank the gods. It may take him awhile to be back to full-on Noah - he lost about three pounds in the week that he was sick and though that is the 10 percent difference that Weight Watchers demands, he was already a spindly little thing who was already in need of gaining weight. And so for awhile there will be offers of ice cream after every meal.

likeness

What do ya think? Does he look like me?

zoo shoe riot

The morning before Noah's rapid decline, we met my in-laws for a day at the zoo. It was honestly the best animal viewing day I have ever had. It seems the animals were enjoying the fall-like weather and making a show of it. In the photo you can see a female lion literally resting at Ray's feet.

swak

A kiss for luck. Took the boys to the horse races today. We sat outside enjoying the weather and being out of the house - without being too physically taxing for the recuperating boy. Ray was amazed by the horses and the ability to toddle around. We ended about twenty dollars down, but it was worth that and much more.

Not just under but also out of the weather

It’s been a hell of a week. Noah has been very sick. The sickest he’s ever been. He has a severe sore throat that may or may not be strep. The doctor described it as being very ripped up and full of pus. Yuck. He’s had a fever of 103 for six days. He’s listless, whiny and clingy. He freaks out if I get up to get the phone. He falls asleep for short intervals and wakes up in a panic, wanting me constantly by his side. He whines “Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama.” He’s not eating and barely drinking and I fear my already skinny boy is wasting away to nothing. He can’t do much walking or even sitting up unpropped and he spends much of his time watching preschool TV. After 52 hours of antibiotics I really thought he would have showed some serious improvement, but no such luck. It better turn around tomorrow. Not only am I at the end of my rope from lack of sleep, the constant unrelenting need, my inability to leave the house for days and my feeling so sorry for him, but I’m also a bit worried. I need him well.

Ray however is perfectly healthy and chomping at the bit. He’s a bundle of energy and has been fairly content to storm around the house and tear everything apart. He is a destroyer of worlds! He is actually benefitting from Noah being sick – suddenly all the toys are HIS. He can play with it all and no one will try to lay claim to it.

But before this blight of illness descended on our home – was anything new? It’s hard to remember. Here are a few things that stick out:

Thanks to repeated watching of episodes of the first season of The Muppet Show, Noah has developed a crush on Connie Stevens. It must be something in the way she sings “Teenager in Love” and “Close to You” or how she dances divinely with Bert. Whatever it is, Noah’s got it bad. He has written her a fan letter asking her to come to our place so that he can dance with her. He later told me that I should invite people over to watch their dance. As soon as I get confirmation of a date from her people I will send out the formal invites. No guests please as space will be limited.

Noah is constantly asking us to tell him stories at bed time. They have to be about Halloween and they have to be scary. And no psychological dramas either. He wants witches, ghosts and monsters. The one caveat is that at no time within the story should Noah and Mama ever be separated. Apparently we must face all evil together. Mark is gifted at narratives on the spot but mine are often pretty lame. I’ve learned that if there is a funny noise Noah can easily overlook the general lameness of the narrative. Oh and for awhile all stories also had to include Connie Stevens.

The two weeks before Noah got sick we were in a constant state of movement. I adore the fall weather. It energizes me and drives me to make the very most out of every day. And so we were at the Zoo twice, the Discovery Museum, the new Please Touch Museum (incredibly awesome! You must go, Lonna.), Linvilla Orchards, Frankilin Square, etc. And Noah’s in a phase where he doesn’t want a good time to end. So any time it was time to leave a place or leave a friend he’d ask me why friends and family members could not live with us and why we couldn’t live at The Please Touch Museum, the Zoo, etc.

Mark returned from his Sacramento business trip with a stuffed Orca whale with “Sacramento” embroidered on it. Noah named him “Spot the whale.” The title is very apropos as I’m constantly trying to spot that damn whale. It’s really the first stuffed thing that Noah ever really attached to and he’s asked to take it with him everywhere. And of course then I’m having to hunt for it later.

Ray is still in a super fun stage. He’s talking all sorts of hysterical gibberish. Every time I’m on the phone with someone they invariably say “Is that Ray?” about all the yapping they hear in the background. He’s big into balls, marbles, trains and cars – more classicly active boy than Noah was at this age. He likes to move cars around on the floor and make car noises, throw and roll. And of course I can’t help but mention the temper. If he’s doing something he shouldn’t, like putting a crayon in his mouth, and you give him a firm “No,” he will invariably throw that thing to the floor as if to say “FINE! Have it!” I try not to laugh but it’s hard.

Edit: Noah’s strep test is negative. Doc says he has either Mono or Adeno virus. Antibiotics of no help. Just have to wait it out. Told me to call her this weekend if he gets worse. Lovely.

Old friends

Three years ago I met Susan and Holly in the park. Like me, they were mothers looking for companionship for their kids and themselves. And so just under one year old Noah had his first peer group with Tripp and Frannie. We had playdates, picnics and field trips together. And though Susan, Holly and I are very different women, our bond as mothers and friends is strong. Without them my life and Noah's would have been so much dimmer.

Bust a move

We do alot of dancing and singing. This morning Noah and Ray started dancing together and it just about made my heart explode.

Monkey see

It is amazing how much Ray picks up from Noah. I 'm certain that at this age Noah had little interest in drawing. But since Ray sees Noah slaving over the page he must draw too.

Back at Linvilla

Linvilla Orchards is one of my favorite places. It means family, tradition, wholesome local produce and good old fashioned fun. I take this picture of the boys on the pumpkins every year and hope to some day make an album of them.

All hallows

Already eagerly prepping for Halloween. I don't buy much in the way of holiday decorations, I'm not really a seasonal decorator by nature. But we do have alot of fun making them.

The anxiety

Things get dicey while Mama is away. Mark took this photo when I went to the bathroom.

Memorial

On Monday we got a sneak peek at the new Please Touch Museum at Memorial Hall. It's still quite unfinished but obviously amazing. We were there for a film shoot for 6ABC. They filmed kids playing with some of the exhibits. If the boys show up in any footage I will post it. But we really just went because we were itchin to see the new spot and it did not disappoint.

Curled up

Yesterday morning Ray curled up to watch Sesame Street. He really adores Elmo and Ernie.

Arty

Noah has always enjoyed doing art. Lately he is taking great leaps in drawing more representationally. He painted this cat mask during our art group and he did the design and colors with no help. And this morning he drew this picture of the mask.

Potato?

I think he has a future in customer service.

(Pointing to his hand is how Ray signs "want.")

Adventures in a Chickfila bathroom

Ahhh... kids in a public restroom. It never gets old.

I did it! Hooray.

Mark comes home this evening. And I have to admit this week went really well. We stayed busy, had visitors, had fun and every one was on their best behavior. Noah really was helpful and patient. He helped watch Ray while I showered in the morning and he waited quietly lying in bed while I put Ray to sleep so that I could then lie down and hold him. The boys even slept better than usual. It was nice.

That isn’t to say I’m not exhausted. Or that I enjoyed a whole bunch of me time. Mostly I tried to keep up with the housework when I had a spare moment. If Mark had to be away regularly I’d have to get some sort of maid service or move into a sparse studio that was easier to pick up.

And of course we missed Mark a great deal. Though it would have been worse if we weren’t constantly sending each other texts and photos. Ya gotta love technology.

In unfortunate news Ray and I came down with colds this week. He's all snotty and I'm losing my voice. I'm sure Mark is eager to come home to our den of germs.

Noah is back to school and loving it. One of his teachers is his favorite teacher from last year who got moved to a different classroom mid-year. He’s already asked me if he could have a sleep over at her house. He is also quite proud of the fact that now instead of having his class in a giant, toy-filled playroom that they sit at tables like big kids. They do a lot more art and paper work and move around to different areas like the playground and gym for more active times.

Spurred by the new PBS show Sid the Science Kid I bought Noah a notebook to be his journal. He’s head over heels for it. He’s been drawing little pictures and words to describe what he does during the day. He’s also been drawing his favorite things and taking measurements and recording them. He keeps telling me how cool it is and how much he loves it.

Ray is being very vocal. Just repeating sounds over and over again. He calls me both “Mama” and “Mommy” and sometimes he just blabbers on with the “Maaa-Meeee. Maaa- Meeeee. Maaaa-Maaaaa. Maaa-Meeee.” It’s super cute but honestly a little nerve wracking when it goes on for too long… (and I can’t think.) He says approximations of a couple of words but I wouldn’t say he has much of a firm vocab aside from Mama, Daddy and “Hi-yeee!” He makes certain sounds for dog, cat and book but I don’t think they are recognizable to most yet so I don’t count them. He is very firm with his sign for “more” which he really uses to mean “want.” If he catches a glimpse of you eating anything he wants it. And he wants it now. He is a bit of a bruiser and he has a definite temper. Occasionally when he’s frustrated he’ll swat at me, Noah or an inanimate object. I give him a stern “No hitting” and in return I get a crumpled up face and a whine. It won’t be long before he’ll be using sheer force to win all the battles with his big brother. Luckily aside from a temper he really is a good-natured, fun-loving guy. He smiles so big and so easily. And he just loves to be out in the world, seeing things and moving around. And I as I write that I have to admit I’m once again thinking “Like me. Oh GOD, he’s just like me.”

Anything but routine

It seems to me that no matter if you have one kid, two kids or five kids, having some basic routines down makes it a hell of a lot more manageable. Sure kids are constantly changing and you have to adapt and be okay with the occasional wrench in the works, but it is a huge help having down your general time schedule - how you do things and when. And the schedules help the kids too. Kids love repetition and a routine. It gives them a sense of security and confidence. As a mother I love a plan and a routine. They are life-saving.

So imagine the trepidation with which I enter this week. Mark, my co-pilot, is off to Sacramento for a business trip. And here I am without a second set of hands and my best friend with whom I share the details of my every day. It’s just me and the boys for five days, 24-7. Sighhh….

I know I can do it. I am a fully capable mother who manages two vivacious, young boys for long stretches of time all by myself. It’s just… MY SCHEDULE!!! Every morning I get my shower before Mark leaves for work so that no one goes unsupervised while I bathe. CAN I NOT SHOWER? Every night Mark does the dishes after I make dinner. WILL WE HAVE CLEAN PLATES? Every night we bathe the boys together and then Noah and Mark “do a story” while I put Ray to bed. CAN I GET BOTH BOYS TO BED ALL BY MYSELF? And when Noah wakes up in the middle of the night Mark typically goes to comfort him so that I’m not downstairs with Noah when Ray wakes up to nurse. WILL WE GET ANY SLEEP? And every night after a long day of kids, kids, kids I talk and relax with my husband. CAN I GET THROUGH A WEEK OF LONELINESS?

Thankfully I have been able to enlist a few friends and family members for some help and visits. I’m hoping to transform it into a fun, adventurous week rather than a “let’s sit around and pine for Daddy week.” But I may have already made a huge mistake. Worried about putting the boys to bed separately and having to run up and down the stairs between them in the middle of the night I told Noah he could sleep upstairs in my bed this week. Now I’m thinking they will just keep waking each other up. I pray the sleeping Gods are kind to me.

Mark is such an involved father. He really is invaluable. I am thankful that his job rarely requires any overtime and that this is his very first trip away from us. When I think of how single parents do it, or even parents whose mate isn’t very involved I am flummoxed. Which brings me to politics. Ahem. Bear with me. I have a lot of stuff backing up about this because I’ve been trying to be good and not spout off angrily too often. When Palin was first announced I was blown away that a mother with a newborn baby would head out on the relentless 24-7 campaign trail. And then someone asked me if that was sexist and I said No – I don’t have much respect for a father of a newborn that would take that much time away from their family at such a critical developmental stage. To which someone reminded me that JFK had very young children. Uninvolved fathers were de rigueur in the 60’s but that doesn’t mean I think it’s acceptable now. I guess family values means something altogether different to me than Mrs. Palin. Of course I’m NOT an NRA member, pro-capital punishment, anti-equality, endangered species hating, BUSH doctrine following, pro-life creationist either. Ahem.

So… Mark leaves very early in the morning. Send positive thoughts to me. Oh and sleep. Plenty of sleep. That makes everything easier to handle.

Bathtime

Ray plays in the bubbles after the water is drained while Noah enjoys post-bath cleanliness.

Squeaky clean

The kids. They grow. And stuff.

I’ve been kinda lax lately in reportin’ on the chitlins. Truth is that things are just happening with them at a lightening speed and I can’t even keep up with exactly what is new and unreported. But here is a stab.

Ever since Noah started coloring in the lines he has shown great interest and dedication to coloring. He also has a newfound love of mazes and dot-to-dots and he has a fierce interest in learning new his numbers. He’s also constantly wanting me to spell things out for him so he can write them. I really do need to spend some time working on the numbers 13 – 20 and on the lower case letters – but regardless of my not concentrating on teaching them he seems to be picking up a lot of information by osmosis.

Noah will return to school in a week and a half. He’ll be in the 3 year old class at Bridesburg Rec and attending on Thursdays and Fridays from 12 to 2:45. The program is predominately play and social experience based though I’m sure they will do some light classwork but I imagine it will mostly touch on things Noah already knows. Next year we may enroll him in more of a fulltime program so this may be the last year that I have him home with me for most of the day. I hope to continue to make the most of it.

Ray is still in a hurry to do it all. He is a climbing, chattering, playing, chomping little fiend. And such a charmer. He’s really interested in talking. We hear a lot of jibberish and a huge amount of mimicry. His newest word is balloon – which are a favorite among toys. He is a fairly fearless bold little man. He will attempt to do anything he sees Noah doing. Anything. And he will demand anything he sees you with. I’m constantly astonished at the contrasts between him and Noah. I just spent almost an hour looking at the blog from when Noah was Ray’s age and two striking things are 1) WOW! I blogged a lot back then and 2) thank the gods Ray is a better sleeper than Noah was. Sheesh – every post starts with me saying how Noah had me up in the middle of the night and how exhausted I am. Ray is having napping issues now – seems he might be dropping that second nap – but damn in comparison to Noah he’s nearly Rip Van Winkle.

Well I’ve been laid up with a weird stomach bug for the last two days and I’m feeling just too weary to sit up straight any longer. Auf Wiedersehen.

Chick Please

Hummus, anyone? Forget the pita and carrots. Dipping is for suckers. I say - go straight for the gusto.

Pimp Batman

Adorned in costume bits from the dollar store and the top from his Batman pajamas, Noah was out on the town looking fabulous as we prepared for Ms. Tracey's birthday party. Sure, we got a couple of cross-eyed looks but Noah's unabashed joy trumped them.

Eating, but not Sesame

We are at Sesame Place. My Dad treated us to memberships for 2009, but can be used for the remainder of the summer. It's been a very good, very exhausting day. And it ain't over yet. We are shuttin' this joint down.

and more

i was amazed and very pleased at how patiently the boys waited in line today.

blog test

on the carousel at sesame place. experimenting with taking photos with phone and posting directly to blog. it seems to work only some of the time. noah seems to often be doing this pursed lip, contemplative expression lately.

another one

He talks alot. More than you'd ever know.

The one where she gets wierd and weepy about every thing

Things have been rushing by fairly seamlessly as of late, so there isn’t too much to report. Not to say that every second is sunshine and roses, anyone with small children knows that is a lie. But we’ve been busy and the kids are growing healthily and happily and time is flying.

My Oma has gone back home to her sewing and her GSN. I particularly have to thank my friend Wendy who hit it home to me that I should treasure the time she had with us. It was fantastic to have the kids get to know her better and watch her really enjoy them. Grandparents aren’t with us forever, and certainly not great grandparents. Ray won’t remember her staying with us and possibly Noah won’t either – but I will definitely treasure it always. When I was a kid I loved spending time with her – playing cards, drinking tea, doing puzzles, dancing the polka. She was certainly my most involved and treasured grandparent. And watching Oma down on the floor with Noah putting a puzzle together really brought it back in an emotional way. She’s getting pretty forgetful and her health isn’t what it should be so I fear our time with Oma is limited. I need to remember how much our attentions mean to her and try to continue to make time for her.

Also in Eggerts household news - I got my overly-connected ass a Blackjack II smartphone and can now check my email and read blogs endlessly from wherever I’m at. It is sweet. However I’ve had issues with commenting on blogs for some odd reasons and it’s too much to really blog from my phone because that is a hella lotta typing on tiny little keys. But the phone is great. I love him. I call him Bob. Soon I won’t remember life before him.

My post on Facebook got a lot of thoughtful, smart and sweet comments from folks – some on the blog and some off. Thank you all for that. It really did help reading what you wrote. It made me realize that what I’m facing isn’t just a SAHM thing – it’s more about being an adult and reconciling your current self with the projected future self you had in high school/college. It seems we all have issues with that. And also it’s a bit about labels and how we are all so much more than an occupation and a bunch of statistics. Or even a bunch of Mommy blog posts for that matter. It really is only a treasured few people in our lives who get real and complete pictures of who we are at any moment. I guess that’s why it seems so weird to get back in touch with people who you felt really knew you at 20 but couldn’t possibly fathom you at 34. But life is truly a journey and parts of us are ever-changing and ever-adapting so it would be weirder still to be the same person. We can just hope to be truly content with who we are now – and at this point in my life I am more content and proud than I was in any other. And that speaks volumes.

Oh! And - Noah is insanely sweet and smart and Ray is the funniest, cutest little thing ever. How’s that for a kid sum-up? Ahhh… you have to check the Twitter stuff to get more info on what the kids are up to. It’s too hard to remember it all when I sit down to blog.

Multimedia message

mobile blogging is a mystery.

YOU HAVE TO USE THE REMOTE.... please.

Things have been pretty crazy here. We were very busy with social and family stuff for a couple of weeks. And now my Oma (German for Grandma) is staying with us. Have you ever lived with a 78 yo German lady? She could be here for a couple more days or weeks - only time will tell. Things are going pretty well considering she can be a bit stubborn and easily frustrated, and worst yet we don’t get her beloved Game Show Network on our cable system. But she seems to be really enjoying time with the boys and it’s really nice having them get to know her better. She is being pretty gracious about being here and all in all it’s a good thing in the midst of a bad situation (it isn’t safe for her to be home with my Grandfather at the moment and she needs to be away until things get sorted with him) but I still have to remind myself to be patient with her. Like when I have to tell her things repeatedly. For example - several times a day after she gets totally flummoxed with the television I have to remind her that she needs to change the channel on the cable box and not on the TV. It's not just the remind part, it's that she is so damn pissed off at our STUPID TV! But the hardest part is I’m jonesing for more computer time and it’s in the room she's staying in. I can’t move it because there isn’t another convenient phone jack. So for the time being my computer time is even more compromised. And with that I've got to go. Oma is knitting and watching Price is Right but also trying to talk to me about somone's bonus spin and how she doesn’t like Drew Carey. It makes it hard to concentrate.

With my face in a book

I’m a mid-level tech geek and I do like to stay in the know about the fads but I’ve been avoiding Facebook for what seems like forever. Partly because it’s another time drain – but that never stopped me before. What appealed to me about Facebook was the opportunity to get in touch with some people that I fell out of touch with. Sometimes I feel like parts of my life didn’t even happen because I’m no longer in touch with any of the people from them – my days at Pitt and studying abroad in England specifically. But that getting in touch is also what was preventing me from joining. Namely answering questions about what I do.

I love being home with my boys. I am incredibly thankful for it everyday. Honestly I don’t know how I would juggle raising them and having a career. I imagine I’d be incredibly stressed out and feeling spread too thin. And their young years are such a gift. They are going by so fast and I’m lucky enough to have the chance to savor them. I AM happy with the choice I’ve made to stay home with them and generally happy with the job I’m doing. But when I think about reconnecting with someone and telling them that I’m “just a Mom” I have to admit I’m a bit ashamed. To the outsider I’m sure it doesn’t sound very exciting, unique or cool. And I fear that I will be perceived as merely stereotype and not an interesting person. I want to explain that I have a journalism degree and an interesting and varied employment history – that I live in the city and that it truly is our playground. That I’m still that girl who drove into Manhattan at 16 to see bands, that stayed out clubbing in London til the wee hours, that interviewed famous musicians and actors for my college newspapers, that took a break from college to live with and promote a rock band, that was eager to see the new theater piece, indie film, and eat in the new restaurant, that’s been to Paris and Marrakesh and wants to see the world. That’s me, I swear. I’m obviously feeling defensive at the prospect of being judged. And aren't I a little old to be feeling the need to convince others and myself that I'm at least a little cool? But when it comes right down to it I am that girl, and I’m also a Mama that’s at home – playing with Little People, transforming a cardboard box into a pet carrier, singing to The Backyardigans, planning tomorrow’s trip to the Natural History Museum. And I should be proud. And anyone I should really want to reconnect with would be able to understand all that. Or F off.

V 34.0

I turned 34 last week. In response I’ve decided to do some upgrading. Things are good, but I could be a bit better. And since Ray’s first year has flown pass, I can take a deep breath and let the reins out a little bit.

I’ve joined Weight Watchers online in the hopes of losing 20 pounds of baby weight and I’ve made plans to start a yoga class in August. Weight Watchers is a challenge because I’m trying to stay away from “diet” foods which I feel are too over-processed. I’m not really into fat-free, sugar free anything. It seems weird that it’s harder to be on a diet and eat healthier – but it’s the case. The yoga class will be tough because once a week I’ll be leaving the house at the start of the bedtime ritual. This means Mark is going to have to figure out a way to get Ray to sleep without nursing. And occupy Noah while doing it. I don’t know who is more nervous about it, Mark or me. Probably me.

As for goals for the next year – we are indeed considering having a third. We’d like to get pregnant again in the next year but with our fertility history you can never really make a firm plan. We will try and see what the fates have in store for us. Right now we are still on hold though because believe it or not I still haven’t gotten my period. Ray still nurses about 5 – 6 times a day and he’s keeping my cycle at bay.

I’ve also decided to make a goal of reading one book a month. In order to do that I’m going to have to be more disciplined about when I read. Make it part of a ritual. I finished Eat, Pray, Love with some mixed conclusions. I loved Eat, enjoyed Pray (but she could have seen some more of India!) but was bothered by Love. I liked the Balinese culture stuff – my issue was don’t tell me your doing a big spiritual, emotional journey to learn to better care for yourself and not let a man dictate your life and then end up dating your Daddy. I ain’t buyin it as a fitting ending. And now I’m on to Animal, Vegetable, Miracle which Mark bought me last year. And then to a book from Patrice, which surprisingly isn't titled with three ideas seperated by commas.

In more entertainment news – we finished Dexter Season 2 & Wire Season 4 and are now watching the new Weeds, Mad Men, Project Runway (!!!) and about to embark on Oz Season 1. As for movies – I don’t remember the last time I watched one. We just can’t seem to ever find the energy to say “We’re committing the next two hours to this.”

Back to upgrade talk – I’m considering getting a smartphone. I started doing a lot of texting in the last couple of months and I’m hungry for a QWERTY keyboard. So I’m on the lookout for the most practical and economical way to go with that. Part of my new love of texting I owe to Twitter. It’s kind of like mini-blogging, something I definitely have more time for. If you are interested in the Twitter stuff my last five tweets are on the right side of the blog. For those unfamiliar with Twitter- it’s short statements that you can even text from your phone that in essence let those interested know what you are up to. It’s fun. And I like getting some twitter feeds sent to my phone too – that way I can get little bits of info from friends while I’m out and about. It makes me feel more connected to them. Now if only the site was acting less glitchy.

The boys, you say? They are excellent. More later.

Now BLOW!

Obviously a one year old does not understand the goings-on of a birthday party, nor that a party is for them. However I think the first birthday party is the most fun. Not for the baby mind you, but for the family and friends. It’s a party to celebrate a momentous year and to reintroduce everyone to the baby as a child. Sort of like “Hey guys, check this little dude out!” So we held a big party not for Ray, but about him. We invited our families and all our friends with families and in the end we hosted 28 adults and 18 kids. It was a bit chaotic and messy, but a lot of fun. And of course Noah had the best time – helping to decorate, plan the party and then running around with his friends. This video shows Ray getting a little help from Noah and his pals for a big birthday wish. A major thank you to everyone who came and helped us to commemorate his first year. Love you.

CelebRAYte

My baby just turned one. He's officially no longer an infant and now a toddler. I can honestly tell you that a year has never gone so fast. And this boy with his exhuberance, charm, and independence blows me away everyday. In this jet-fueled year he teethed early, crawled early, walked early, ran early, forsake baby food for table food and banished the spoon handled by anyone other than himself. Though he doesn't like it one bit when I walk away from him, he's more than happy to toddle off into the sunset with barely a look backward. And though his stubbornness and anger are already becoming legendary, his otherwise sunshiney dispostion justify his name. He is a Ray of it.
GOD. I love him.

It's his jam.

In general Ray doesn't pay too much attention to the TV. Some things crafted explicitly by evil geniuses to entice babies will briefly pique his interest - Elmo and The Teletubbies for example. But NOTHING is quite as exciting as the theme song to the Backyardigans. He LOVES it and since Noah watches an episode almost every day he hears it often. He'll come scurrying from wherever he is to the TV and then clap and spin until it's over.

Beach, Sand, Love

Last week we were in Ocean City, NJ at the beach house my Mom rents every year. It was our fifth year of this new beach family vacation tradition. Mark’s mother’s family were big beach goers and when Mark told stories of having family beach outings I wanted that for our family – the tradition, the quality time, the nostalgia, the fun - and after I got pregnant with Noah I suggested it to my Mom. Lucky for us she wanted in on that too. And now it’s five years in and it’s something I really value – not just for a week away but for strengthening family bonds. And of course also testing them – it can be a bit trying having a bunch of people all staying in one house, wanting to do things their own way and having their own expectations. I know I have my own moments of childish grumpiness but we’re family and we all want everyone to have a good time so we all try to reign them in and remember that we love each other anyway. And what stays with us after the week passes are the lovely memories of kids playing, growing, and spending time with family. Cue the schmaltzy music. Each summer at the beach I remember the year previously and am blown away by the changes. Noah has grown so much in the last year – shedding the last vestiges of babyhood and becoming a little boy. And of course most notably was that last year I was a hugely pregnant woman and this year there is Ray prancing down the beach. It really has flown by – especially when measured in beach time.

Here are a few of the more notable things about our week:

- There is an entrance to Congo Golf where we hit the beach at 12 Street. Most notable about this locale is the large helicopter perched over the roof with two animatronic gorillas that talk and sing songs. Noah LOVES these “monkeys.” Every time we would go near them he would comment on what song they were singing. And he was so obsessed with them that Mark promised him he’d put the four songs that they sing on his Ipod when we got home. I’ve listened to “Noah Mac’s Mega Monkey Mix” at least ten times since we’ve been home. And for those of you dying to replicate this playlist for your very own the tracks are “Hot, Hot, Hot,” “The Lion Sleeps Tonight,” “Under the Boardwalk” and “The Banana Boat Song.”

- Last year our plan to take a boat trip got squashed because of an evening of thunderstorms and since Noah still wanted a ride on a boat I was intent on taking one this year. When I saw a flyer for a “Pirate Adventure” riding a pirate ship on the bay I knew Noah would love it. Of course because of the price only one of us could take him and since it’s always easier for me to take Ray (because of the Mama stage, the nursing, etc.) I always get the infant end of the stick when we divide and conquer. But I HATE to miss out on things. I love to see Noah take something like that in but I bowed out gracefully – and only violently insisted that Mark take insane amounts of pictures and video so I could experience it later. And what an experience it was. There was face painting, sea chanteys, water cannons, a pirate battle, a map and a treasure. Noah took it all in with a very serious expression – he had to concentrate to remember every detail. Staff member Matey Matt apparently commented several times on how he wasn’t smiling. But I assure you he enjoyed every minute of it. And Noah was so excited to show me the pictures. And then to Grandma. And to Nana. I think we will be knee deep in all things pirate for quite some time. Yesterday Noah gave a businessman a good chuckle when upon hearing that I intended us to share the ice cream we were on line to purchase Noah said “Pirates don’t share.” He’s also told me recently that pirates don’t say please to which I responded by telling him that pirates never disrespect their Mamas. But the weirdest and oddest thing that has happened is after seeing a particular homeless man with a red kerchief on his head he now seems to think that all vagrants are pirates. I should have corrected him but it was so darling I let it stand for the moment.

- Noah also mini-golfed for the first time. (And again I didn’t get to go. Boo hoo.) Though sometimes it may have resembled hockey more than golf, he learned a bit and enjoyed himself even more which is really the point. And he even got a hole in one. Afterwards he was asking to golf at every other course on the boardwalk.

- Ocean City is a dry town which means not only no liquor and drunk teens on the boardwalk but also no gambling and games of chance. Thank God for that because we waste more than enough money on the amusement piers. Good lord what a racket those things are! And Noah is all about the rides. And not just the kiddie ones where you drive in a circle and beep the horn either. He rode the serpent mini-coaster 4 times, climbed around in the fun house and obstacle course, tackled the junior bumper cars and even rode the swings. I always loved rides as a kid but oddly enough since having Noah I am far more cautious and even more nauseous. It makes me both nervous and proud to see how bold he is. And that look of joy on his face is priceless – ticket prices be damned.

- For two nights my Mom’s husband Larry’s daughters and grandkids stayed at the house. Those were hands down the most exciting for Noah. He had so much fun playing with his cousins. Jumping in the waves, playing in the sand, going on the rides – together. He really was a bit depressed after they left.

- Noah is in love with the ocean. He was constantly in the water, begging to be taken deep into the waves. He jumped, boogey boarded and was waterlogged a few times but bounced back quickly. Ray was equally in love with the sand. He was covered in it from head to foot. He’d dip his food in it before putting it in his mouth. He rolled around in it naked and content.

- One very unfortunate thing about the beach this year is that my Mom was saddled with horrible back pain the entire week and it really hampered her enjoyment of her vacation. She wasn’t as able to spend as much time cavorting with the kids, walking on the boardwalk or shopping as she would have liked. And though she was really in some severe pain she just kept pushing herself and we’d all be scolding her. It had her a bit down in the dumps which I could totally understand because it was very similar to how I felt last year when I was pregnant and having a lot of early contractions. It really sucks to be limited and feel like you are missing out on the fun. Her back is doing a bit better now and we hope that she’s as good as new very soon.

- Ray is a ladies man. That little man got insane amount of attention at the beach. Large gaggles of bikini clad teenage girls would stop to ooh and aahh at him. Waitresses would marvel at his hair, his eyes, his huge smile. And he ate it up. What a flirt.

- New on Noah’s photo flickr button to the right of the page you will notice photos Noah took on a walk to the bay with Mark. He took 100 photos on that walk – but I whittled it down to the best of the best.

And now vacation is over. It always sucks a bit to come back from vacation. Luckily Noah started his summer camp program this week so we had that to look forward to. For the next two months he has school from 10:15 to 12:45 three days a week. Twice this week I was able to take Noah to school and put Ray down for a nap and READ for a whole hour! Damn that felt good. I always feel so guilty reading – like I should be cleaning if I ever get free time (HA!). But reading is really important to me. So much so that I’d say it is one of the things that makes me ME and I really do need to make time for it. As for what I read - I favor literary fiction set in different countries and different time periods so that I can accidentally learn a few things while following the plot. And TRAVEL – I like to feel like I’m traveling when I read – to China, to Africa, to Europe but most of all India. Just last week I finally finished The Inheritance of Loss and now I’m halfway through Eat, Pray, Love – which is really making me feel like I have to get back into a yoga practice, after of course eating insane amounts of pasta and gelato.

From sea to shining sea

Can you tell me how to get there?

I wanted to take Noah to Sesame Place. Everyone I spoke to who had been raved about the water park rides. And he was SO into amusement parks last year I knew he’d love it. But when I checked out the website I was appalled at the price. It was over $50 a person for anyone over two. Insane. Of course they sell you on the “bargain” of getting a passport to come back a second time or even a season pass. But the prices are outrageous. Then I saw a banner advertising group discounts for Sesame Place. If you bought 15 tickets the price was nearly half. So I picked a date and sent out an email to all my friends with families to see if anyone was interested in making a group excursion – the price was lower and it would be fun bumping into friends all day at the park. And it worked.

Yesterday was the big day – we had a group of 8 preschoolers, 7 moms, 3 dads, 3 infants, 2 grandmas and a nanny! The weather was a little cool for water park weather and we had a few little thunderstorms but as a result the park was pretty empty which was really ideal. It seems everyone had a blast. My mom accompanied me and the boys and we alternated taking Noah on stuff. It was great to have another set of hands and it was nice watching Noah enjoy hanging out with Grandma. I didn’t even get jealous when he preferred her for most of the rides. And Ray was a champ. After only a one hour nap he was awake from 10:30 am to nearly 7:30 pm – and not even grumpy. He was just taking it all in. (Actually it isn’t too uncommon for Ray to go long periods of time without a nap. He is the second child after all and amazingly resilient.) It really was a fantastic day. And spending time with different friends throughout the day made it all the better. All of the kids were utterly ecstatic. I hope to do some other group outings, if not for a discount just for the companionship.

My favorite memories of the day were seeing Noah beam with joy and pride after riding an inner tube water rapid ride all by himself, Noah's fear and yet utter fascination with the roller coaster, Ray pointing at every costumed character, and Ray SO exhausted from the day that he got incredibly clumsy and proceeded to flop happily all over the padded toddler zone.

And now a few notes about Sesame Place: Bring insane amounts of money. Though we got discounted admission and discounted lunch vouchers – the $13 parking set the tone for the day. They don’t allow coolers but I did bring an insulated lunch box with snacks, fruit and veggies so we didn’t spend any additional cash on food until an evening soft pretzel purchase. See the parade and a show or two to break up the day. Both Noah and Ray really loved them. And wear water shoes if you have them, the ground is killer on bare feat. Take photos – unfortunately I had my hands full with Ray and didn’t really take any so I have to wait for others to share them some with me.

Daddy dearest

This weekend I was discussing babies with a father-to-be. He confessed that he was a bit jealous of his wife’s pregnancy. Everything was changing for her and yet for him it was still all the same. At this point it was all about her. I responded by essentially telling him “Get use to it.” For a man who wants to be an equal partner in the raising of his children the hardest part of being a father is not being the mother. It’s probably mostly biology that causes children to be so often clamoring for Mama. I’m often feeling so bad for Mark when he’s essentially begging Noah to let him help with something meanwhile Noah just whines for me. And though some of that has to do with me being the primary around the clock caretaker – that isn’t all of it. I was quite surprised when one of our neighbors who is a stay-at-home Dad confessed that the moment his wife steps in the door from work that the kids want nothing but her. So not only are Dads giving and sacrificing – but often they don’t get the same cooperation, recognition and lavish affection that Moms get. It must be hard.

Mark is a fabulous husband and father. He is appreciative, interested, committed, and loving. He is a great support for me – always wanting to know what he can do to help and how he can make me happier and ease some of my stress. He focuses not only on how to parent children but how to raise well rounded adults. And as with everything he does, he doesn’t give himself enough credit. But anyone who knows Mark or even just reads about Mark on this blog knows that he doesn’t just deserve a card or even a round of applause – that he deserves some sort of medal. But in absence of that a nice breakfast, some cards, kiddie drawings, Tshirts, photos and Reeses peanut butter cups will have to make do. Oh and this – I love you, Mark. Thank you.

Ahoy Matey.

I took the boys to The Franklin Institute today. It was our second visit. The museum is really intended for much older children but there are a few hands on exhibits that really can captivate smaller children. Noah has consistently been asking to walk through the large human heart since our last visit. Today we walked through it twice, learned about the heart, the brain and bones – then learned about The Sky Tonight in the planetarium. It was our first planetarium visit and Noah was really in awe of it. Next we rode the train, sat in the fighter plane and then headed to the special exhibit. When we got to the museum Noah was immediately intrigued by the current special exhibit on pirates. I wasn’t planning on going to it since it was an additional fee but since we got in to the rest of the museum for free I figured why the hell not. And I’m so glad I did – it was pretty breathtaking and Noah really enjoyed the drama of it. It really was on the scary side – there were moments I was even creeped out by the music, the lighting, the pirate mannequins. But Noah is in a stage now where he likes to be a bit scared. I picked up the pace a bit when we got to the part where you walk through a recreation of the ship because Noah was obviously a bit scared but about halfway through he asked to go back to the beginning again. He really enjoyed it. Some of the subject matter of the exhibit was too adult for him – about slavery, drowning and death sentences – but I was able to just sort of whisk him past those parts and tell him what I wanted him to know. I got him a tube of plastic pirate figures to spur on his imagination. Tonight before bed he and Mark were doing a story where the pirates were getting on and off of the trolley to look for their treasure. I had another great day with him. I really love watching Noah soak up new things and I’m always really impressed by what a great student/audience member he is. If you put any person in front of a group or on a stage he will become instantly engrossed no matter the subject matter. He is just a natural learner and I hope that always stays with him.

As you can probably guess Noah has bounced back from his week of darkness. It really seemed to be a product of being overtired after being sick. The other day I thanked him for helping me put away the groceries and he said “I am SO nice.” And I said “Yes, you are.” To which he said “Not like those other days… those were SO BAD.” I was sort of taken aback for a second – I didn’t want to dwell on it or make him feel any more guilty. So I said “You were having a grumpy patch. It happens.” And then we went back to the groceries.

And Ray? He is really mastering this walking thing. He’s also a crazy climber – always trying to haul himself up on things. He’s trouble for sure. But also amazingly fun and adorable. Just thinking about him makes me break into a bemused smile. What a funny little dude.

Day at the Beach

Today we took a day trip to Ocean City. I’d never taken a day trip to the beach with Noah before, despite it only being an hour away. I was always daunted by the idea of being incredibly sandy with no place to clean off before going home. And that is what happened today – I now really need to vacuum out the van. But today was really a fantastic day so I see more in our future. All it took was one friend saying “Hey, you free on Tuesday? We’re thinking of taking the kids to the beach?” And then we asked another friend and the result was four adults and six kids frolicking in the sand and surf. It was Ray’s first beach day. He was intimidated by the ocean – the cold water and the crashing of the waves – but he adores the sand. We dug a wading pool that the ocean filled up for the babies to hang out in. Ray could have stayed in there all day. Meanwhile Noah is in love with the ocean. He just couldn’t get enough. He didn’t even seem to care that the amusement pier was closed. And we got to share it all with friends, friends covered in sand. It was a perfect day. With sand.

In the midst of a feast

The boys. Forced to be affectionate and mug for the camera while trying to consume snacks during one of Noah's pretend picnics.

Check em out yo!

Just a few of my favorite recent photos. The boys at the zoo, hanging in the living room, Master Noah and Mistress Bella and Eggerts men watering our tree on a very hot summer city day.

Just Travelin Man

If Noah didn't keep jumping in front of Ray he might be in Mexico by now.
And the waving? Not sure if that is a balance or an exceitment thing but it must be typical since Ray's little friend Ivan does it too, but with both hands.

It's growing and growing.

So much. So much.

I’ll start with Ray. In the last week he’s gone from taking his first official steps to spanning impressive distances. He’s also saying “Mama,” moving his head back and forth crazily ala Stevie Wonder when he’s happy and eating almost entirely table food and no baby food. He’s still really “world oriented” and by that I mean that he’d rather explore, move, interact and take things apart rather than play with toys. And he picks up skills amazingly fast – he took to drinking out of cups overnight, both in a tip-back sippy and with a straw. I find that particularly amazing since he hadn’t drank from anything other than when he nursed. Like Noah he was never been bottle fed and yet was like “GIVE ME THAT CUP.” It took Noah quite awhile to be in to the whole cup thing. Ray’s also doing a good job of picking up the baby sign language. In the last week he started doing the sign for “No” which I do when I tell him not to do something. And he’s using it a lot – to talk back by saying “No” to me after I’ve said it to him, to ask me if something is okay by signing “No” while touching something and giving me a quizzical look, and just to voice unhappiness by signing it while crying. He’s doing so well with the few signs I’ve used that I really need to add more so he can express himself better. So Ray is really blooming.

Noah however is having a tough time. He’s physically recovered from the pink eye and the days of feverishness but he’s exhausted. His body needs extra sleep but he’s fighting it. He doesn’t nap and he’s getting up at 6 am every morning – despite being a zombie. And his behavior had really been trying. I really was at the end of the rope with him yesterday. He was being so defiant, so stubborn, so difficult, so emotional – and I’m not accustomed to having to deal with that. Over a month ago he went through like a week or so of being really difficult but then it turned around and he was back to being fairly reasonable and angelic for a 3 year old. So hopefully the evilness of the last few days will turn around quickly once he gets some more rest. He’s also on a break from school since his school year ended in mid-May and he doesn’t start the summer program until July – and I think the loss of that structure, socialization time and accountability to other authority figures has something to do with it. Friends have also commented that he seems to have gotten a lot taller and more slender in the last few weeks so maybe a growth spurt is also in the mix. Whatever the reason – things best get back to normal soon. On the upside he’s more into his music now more than ever. Constantly asking me to put on something specific and asking me to turn it up or be quiet so he can hear a certain part. He wants to share his favorites with everyone and feels disappointed when they aren’t as taken with them as he is. After his love of the drama of the Disney ride music I figured he’d like movie soundtrack music so we took a few out of the library. At the moment he is loving the soundtrack to Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire. I also recently bought him a used Ipod Mini on Ebay and a docking station for his room (It’s amazing what great deals you can get on outdated technology) – all of his music was taking all the space up on the used Ipod Mini that I bought for myself last year. And he just loves having his own Ipod. On his own he also decided that we should have a fair schedule for music selection so he decided he got to pick breakfast music, I got lunch and Daddy got dinner. Unless of course if we have lunch guests and then he got to pick the music if he has something he wanted them to hear.

And what is new with me? A lot of food stuff. I’m on a quick diet for the next few weeks to see if I can drop a few more pounds before we go to the beach. I hate dieting. I’m hungry and grumpy – but since I have an end date I can just aim for the light at the end of the tunnel. On a more positive note I finally put together that gas grill that we bought about two months ago. Did I mention that? It was supposed to take 30 minutes to assemble but after three hours I shoved it in a closet for two months. Ahem… well I finished assembling it on Sunday and we’ve been grilling, grilling, grilling. Also we’re high on greens. We joined the Greensgrow CSA again this year and our shares started two weeks ago. This year we got a vegetarian share because I’m weird about certain kinds of meat and there was just too much last year that I wasn’t really interested in cooking. I think we still have two kinds of sausage and a kind of stew meat in our freezer. Plus I was jealous of the vegetarians last year “HEY! They get three other veggies/fruits and all I got was this damn whole chicken.” Anyway – I love the CSA experience. I love that it’s local. I love that it’s good for the planet and our neighborhood. I love that we are trying new veggies and exposing Noah to such a wide variety of garden food. And I love just having to be a bit imaginative in what I’m serving for dinner. It’s not the same handful of things I always cook – it’s like “What am I going to do with collard greens and turnips?” But it’s not all just weird stuff. Tomorrow I pick up strawberries, tomatoes, asparagus, kale, extra sharp cheddar cheese, spring salad mix, mushrooms, spring onions, yogurt, and herbs. YUM. I totally encourage anyone to try out a CSA in the future or at the very least to seek out local farmers markets.

Okay. I am late for watching part one of the Top Chef finale.