The one where she gets wierd and weepy about every thing

Things have been rushing by fairly seamlessly as of late, so there isn’t too much to report. Not to say that every second is sunshine and roses, anyone with small children knows that is a lie. But we’ve been busy and the kids are growing healthily and happily and time is flying.

My Oma has gone back home to her sewing and her GSN. I particularly have to thank my friend Wendy who hit it home to me that I should treasure the time she had with us. It was fantastic to have the kids get to know her better and watch her really enjoy them. Grandparents aren’t with us forever, and certainly not great grandparents. Ray won’t remember her staying with us and possibly Noah won’t either – but I will definitely treasure it always. When I was a kid I loved spending time with her – playing cards, drinking tea, doing puzzles, dancing the polka. She was certainly my most involved and treasured grandparent. And watching Oma down on the floor with Noah putting a puzzle together really brought it back in an emotional way. She’s getting pretty forgetful and her health isn’t what it should be so I fear our time with Oma is limited. I need to remember how much our attentions mean to her and try to continue to make time for her.

Also in Eggerts household news - I got my overly-connected ass a Blackjack II smartphone and can now check my email and read blogs endlessly from wherever I’m at. It is sweet. However I’ve had issues with commenting on blogs for some odd reasons and it’s too much to really blog from my phone because that is a hella lotta typing on tiny little keys. But the phone is great. I love him. I call him Bob. Soon I won’t remember life before him.

My post on Facebook got a lot of thoughtful, smart and sweet comments from folks – some on the blog and some off. Thank you all for that. It really did help reading what you wrote. It made me realize that what I’m facing isn’t just a SAHM thing – it’s more about being an adult and reconciling your current self with the projected future self you had in high school/college. It seems we all have issues with that. And also it’s a bit about labels and how we are all so much more than an occupation and a bunch of statistics. Or even a bunch of Mommy blog posts for that matter. It really is only a treasured few people in our lives who get real and complete pictures of who we are at any moment. I guess that’s why it seems so weird to get back in touch with people who you felt really knew you at 20 but couldn’t possibly fathom you at 34. But life is truly a journey and parts of us are ever-changing and ever-adapting so it would be weirder still to be the same person. We can just hope to be truly content with who we are now – and at this point in my life I am more content and proud than I was in any other. And that speaks volumes.

Oh! And - Noah is insanely sweet and smart and Ray is the funniest, cutest little thing ever. How’s that for a kid sum-up? Ahhh… you have to check the Twitter stuff to get more info on what the kids are up to. It’s too hard to remember it all when I sit down to blog.

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mobile blogging is a mystery.

YOU HAVE TO USE THE REMOTE.... please.

Things have been pretty crazy here. We were very busy with social and family stuff for a couple of weeks. And now my Oma (German for Grandma) is staying with us. Have you ever lived with a 78 yo German lady? She could be here for a couple more days or weeks - only time will tell. Things are going pretty well considering she can be a bit stubborn and easily frustrated, and worst yet we don’t get her beloved Game Show Network on our cable system. But she seems to be really enjoying time with the boys and it’s really nice having them get to know her better. She is being pretty gracious about being here and all in all it’s a good thing in the midst of a bad situation (it isn’t safe for her to be home with my Grandfather at the moment and she needs to be away until things get sorted with him) but I still have to remind myself to be patient with her. Like when I have to tell her things repeatedly. For example - several times a day after she gets totally flummoxed with the television I have to remind her that she needs to change the channel on the cable box and not on the TV. It's not just the remind part, it's that she is so damn pissed off at our STUPID TV! But the hardest part is I’m jonesing for more computer time and it’s in the room she's staying in. I can’t move it because there isn’t another convenient phone jack. So for the time being my computer time is even more compromised. And with that I've got to go. Oma is knitting and watching Price is Right but also trying to talk to me about somone's bonus spin and how she doesn’t like Drew Carey. It makes it hard to concentrate.

With my face in a book

I’m a mid-level tech geek and I do like to stay in the know about the fads but I’ve been avoiding Facebook for what seems like forever. Partly because it’s another time drain – but that never stopped me before. What appealed to me about Facebook was the opportunity to get in touch with some people that I fell out of touch with. Sometimes I feel like parts of my life didn’t even happen because I’m no longer in touch with any of the people from them – my days at Pitt and studying abroad in England specifically. But that getting in touch is also what was preventing me from joining. Namely answering questions about what I do.

I love being home with my boys. I am incredibly thankful for it everyday. Honestly I don’t know how I would juggle raising them and having a career. I imagine I’d be incredibly stressed out and feeling spread too thin. And their young years are such a gift. They are going by so fast and I’m lucky enough to have the chance to savor them. I AM happy with the choice I’ve made to stay home with them and generally happy with the job I’m doing. But when I think about reconnecting with someone and telling them that I’m “just a Mom” I have to admit I’m a bit ashamed. To the outsider I’m sure it doesn’t sound very exciting, unique or cool. And I fear that I will be perceived as merely stereotype and not an interesting person. I want to explain that I have a journalism degree and an interesting and varied employment history – that I live in the city and that it truly is our playground. That I’m still that girl who drove into Manhattan at 16 to see bands, that stayed out clubbing in London til the wee hours, that interviewed famous musicians and actors for my college newspapers, that took a break from college to live with and promote a rock band, that was eager to see the new theater piece, indie film, and eat in the new restaurant, that’s been to Paris and Marrakesh and wants to see the world. That’s me, I swear. I’m obviously feeling defensive at the prospect of being judged. And aren't I a little old to be feeling the need to convince others and myself that I'm at least a little cool? But when it comes right down to it I am that girl, and I’m also a Mama that’s at home – playing with Little People, transforming a cardboard box into a pet carrier, singing to The Backyardigans, planning tomorrow’s trip to the Natural History Museum. And I should be proud. And anyone I should really want to reconnect with would be able to understand all that. Or F off.

V 34.0

I turned 34 last week. In response I’ve decided to do some upgrading. Things are good, but I could be a bit better. And since Ray’s first year has flown pass, I can take a deep breath and let the reins out a little bit.

I’ve joined Weight Watchers online in the hopes of losing 20 pounds of baby weight and I’ve made plans to start a yoga class in August. Weight Watchers is a challenge because I’m trying to stay away from “diet” foods which I feel are too over-processed. I’m not really into fat-free, sugar free anything. It seems weird that it’s harder to be on a diet and eat healthier – but it’s the case. The yoga class will be tough because once a week I’ll be leaving the house at the start of the bedtime ritual. This means Mark is going to have to figure out a way to get Ray to sleep without nursing. And occupy Noah while doing it. I don’t know who is more nervous about it, Mark or me. Probably me.

As for goals for the next year – we are indeed considering having a third. We’d like to get pregnant again in the next year but with our fertility history you can never really make a firm plan. We will try and see what the fates have in store for us. Right now we are still on hold though because believe it or not I still haven’t gotten my period. Ray still nurses about 5 – 6 times a day and he’s keeping my cycle at bay.

I’ve also decided to make a goal of reading one book a month. In order to do that I’m going to have to be more disciplined about when I read. Make it part of a ritual. I finished Eat, Pray, Love with some mixed conclusions. I loved Eat, enjoyed Pray (but she could have seen some more of India!) but was bothered by Love. I liked the Balinese culture stuff – my issue was don’t tell me your doing a big spiritual, emotional journey to learn to better care for yourself and not let a man dictate your life and then end up dating your Daddy. I ain’t buyin it as a fitting ending. And now I’m on to Animal, Vegetable, Miracle which Mark bought me last year. And then to a book from Patrice, which surprisingly isn't titled with three ideas seperated by commas.

In more entertainment news – we finished Dexter Season 2 & Wire Season 4 and are now watching the new Weeds, Mad Men, Project Runway (!!!) and about to embark on Oz Season 1. As for movies – I don’t remember the last time I watched one. We just can’t seem to ever find the energy to say “We’re committing the next two hours to this.”

Back to upgrade talk – I’m considering getting a smartphone. I started doing a lot of texting in the last couple of months and I’m hungry for a QWERTY keyboard. So I’m on the lookout for the most practical and economical way to go with that. Part of my new love of texting I owe to Twitter. It’s kind of like mini-blogging, something I definitely have more time for. If you are interested in the Twitter stuff my last five tweets are on the right side of the blog. For those unfamiliar with Twitter- it’s short statements that you can even text from your phone that in essence let those interested know what you are up to. It’s fun. And I like getting some twitter feeds sent to my phone too – that way I can get little bits of info from friends while I’m out and about. It makes me feel more connected to them. Now if only the site was acting less glitchy.

The boys, you say? They are excellent. More later.

Now BLOW!

Obviously a one year old does not understand the goings-on of a birthday party, nor that a party is for them. However I think the first birthday party is the most fun. Not for the baby mind you, but for the family and friends. It’s a party to celebrate a momentous year and to reintroduce everyone to the baby as a child. Sort of like “Hey guys, check this little dude out!” So we held a big party not for Ray, but about him. We invited our families and all our friends with families and in the end we hosted 28 adults and 18 kids. It was a bit chaotic and messy, but a lot of fun. And of course Noah had the best time – helping to decorate, plan the party and then running around with his friends. This video shows Ray getting a little help from Noah and his pals for a big birthday wish. A major thank you to everyone who came and helped us to commemorate his first year. Love you.

CelebRAYte

My baby just turned one. He's officially no longer an infant and now a toddler. I can honestly tell you that a year has never gone so fast. And this boy with his exhuberance, charm, and independence blows me away everyday. In this jet-fueled year he teethed early, crawled early, walked early, ran early, forsake baby food for table food and banished the spoon handled by anyone other than himself. Though he doesn't like it one bit when I walk away from him, he's more than happy to toddle off into the sunset with barely a look backward. And though his stubbornness and anger are already becoming legendary, his otherwise sunshiney dispostion justify his name. He is a Ray of it.
GOD. I love him.

It's his jam.

In general Ray doesn't pay too much attention to the TV. Some things crafted explicitly by evil geniuses to entice babies will briefly pique his interest - Elmo and The Teletubbies for example. But NOTHING is quite as exciting as the theme song to the Backyardigans. He LOVES it and since Noah watches an episode almost every day he hears it often. He'll come scurrying from wherever he is to the TV and then clap and spin until it's over.

Beach, Sand, Love

Last week we were in Ocean City, NJ at the beach house my Mom rents every year. It was our fifth year of this new beach family vacation tradition. Mark’s mother’s family were big beach goers and when Mark told stories of having family beach outings I wanted that for our family – the tradition, the quality time, the nostalgia, the fun - and after I got pregnant with Noah I suggested it to my Mom. Lucky for us she wanted in on that too. And now it’s five years in and it’s something I really value – not just for a week away but for strengthening family bonds. And of course also testing them – it can be a bit trying having a bunch of people all staying in one house, wanting to do things their own way and having their own expectations. I know I have my own moments of childish grumpiness but we’re family and we all want everyone to have a good time so we all try to reign them in and remember that we love each other anyway. And what stays with us after the week passes are the lovely memories of kids playing, growing, and spending time with family. Cue the schmaltzy music. Each summer at the beach I remember the year previously and am blown away by the changes. Noah has grown so much in the last year – shedding the last vestiges of babyhood and becoming a little boy. And of course most notably was that last year I was a hugely pregnant woman and this year there is Ray prancing down the beach. It really has flown by – especially when measured in beach time.

Here are a few of the more notable things about our week:

- There is an entrance to Congo Golf where we hit the beach at 12 Street. Most notable about this locale is the large helicopter perched over the roof with two animatronic gorillas that talk and sing songs. Noah LOVES these “monkeys.” Every time we would go near them he would comment on what song they were singing. And he was so obsessed with them that Mark promised him he’d put the four songs that they sing on his Ipod when we got home. I’ve listened to “Noah Mac’s Mega Monkey Mix” at least ten times since we’ve been home. And for those of you dying to replicate this playlist for your very own the tracks are “Hot, Hot, Hot,” “The Lion Sleeps Tonight,” “Under the Boardwalk” and “The Banana Boat Song.”

- Last year our plan to take a boat trip got squashed because of an evening of thunderstorms and since Noah still wanted a ride on a boat I was intent on taking one this year. When I saw a flyer for a “Pirate Adventure” riding a pirate ship on the bay I knew Noah would love it. Of course because of the price only one of us could take him and since it’s always easier for me to take Ray (because of the Mama stage, the nursing, etc.) I always get the infant end of the stick when we divide and conquer. But I HATE to miss out on things. I love to see Noah take something like that in but I bowed out gracefully – and only violently insisted that Mark take insane amounts of pictures and video so I could experience it later. And what an experience it was. There was face painting, sea chanteys, water cannons, a pirate battle, a map and a treasure. Noah took it all in with a very serious expression – he had to concentrate to remember every detail. Staff member Matey Matt apparently commented several times on how he wasn’t smiling. But I assure you he enjoyed every minute of it. And Noah was so excited to show me the pictures. And then to Grandma. And to Nana. I think we will be knee deep in all things pirate for quite some time. Yesterday Noah gave a businessman a good chuckle when upon hearing that I intended us to share the ice cream we were on line to purchase Noah said “Pirates don’t share.” He’s also told me recently that pirates don’t say please to which I responded by telling him that pirates never disrespect their Mamas. But the weirdest and oddest thing that has happened is after seeing a particular homeless man with a red kerchief on his head he now seems to think that all vagrants are pirates. I should have corrected him but it was so darling I let it stand for the moment.

- Noah also mini-golfed for the first time. (And again I didn’t get to go. Boo hoo.) Though sometimes it may have resembled hockey more than golf, he learned a bit and enjoyed himself even more which is really the point. And he even got a hole in one. Afterwards he was asking to golf at every other course on the boardwalk.

- Ocean City is a dry town which means not only no liquor and drunk teens on the boardwalk but also no gambling and games of chance. Thank God for that because we waste more than enough money on the amusement piers. Good lord what a racket those things are! And Noah is all about the rides. And not just the kiddie ones where you drive in a circle and beep the horn either. He rode the serpent mini-coaster 4 times, climbed around in the fun house and obstacle course, tackled the junior bumper cars and even rode the swings. I always loved rides as a kid but oddly enough since having Noah I am far more cautious and even more nauseous. It makes me both nervous and proud to see how bold he is. And that look of joy on his face is priceless – ticket prices be damned.

- For two nights my Mom’s husband Larry’s daughters and grandkids stayed at the house. Those were hands down the most exciting for Noah. He had so much fun playing with his cousins. Jumping in the waves, playing in the sand, going on the rides – together. He really was a bit depressed after they left.

- Noah is in love with the ocean. He was constantly in the water, begging to be taken deep into the waves. He jumped, boogey boarded and was waterlogged a few times but bounced back quickly. Ray was equally in love with the sand. He was covered in it from head to foot. He’d dip his food in it before putting it in his mouth. He rolled around in it naked and content.

- One very unfortunate thing about the beach this year is that my Mom was saddled with horrible back pain the entire week and it really hampered her enjoyment of her vacation. She wasn’t as able to spend as much time cavorting with the kids, walking on the boardwalk or shopping as she would have liked. And though she was really in some severe pain she just kept pushing herself and we’d all be scolding her. It had her a bit down in the dumps which I could totally understand because it was very similar to how I felt last year when I was pregnant and having a lot of early contractions. It really sucks to be limited and feel like you are missing out on the fun. Her back is doing a bit better now and we hope that she’s as good as new very soon.

- Ray is a ladies man. That little man got insane amount of attention at the beach. Large gaggles of bikini clad teenage girls would stop to ooh and aahh at him. Waitresses would marvel at his hair, his eyes, his huge smile. And he ate it up. What a flirt.

- New on Noah’s photo flickr button to the right of the page you will notice photos Noah took on a walk to the bay with Mark. He took 100 photos on that walk – but I whittled it down to the best of the best.

And now vacation is over. It always sucks a bit to come back from vacation. Luckily Noah started his summer camp program this week so we had that to look forward to. For the next two months he has school from 10:15 to 12:45 three days a week. Twice this week I was able to take Noah to school and put Ray down for a nap and READ for a whole hour! Damn that felt good. I always feel so guilty reading – like I should be cleaning if I ever get free time (HA!). But reading is really important to me. So much so that I’d say it is one of the things that makes me ME and I really do need to make time for it. As for what I read - I favor literary fiction set in different countries and different time periods so that I can accidentally learn a few things while following the plot. And TRAVEL – I like to feel like I’m traveling when I read – to China, to Africa, to Europe but most of all India. Just last week I finally finished The Inheritance of Loss and now I’m halfway through Eat, Pray, Love – which is really making me feel like I have to get back into a yoga practice, after of course eating insane amounts of pasta and gelato.

From sea to shining sea

Can you tell me how to get there?

I wanted to take Noah to Sesame Place. Everyone I spoke to who had been raved about the water park rides. And he was SO into amusement parks last year I knew he’d love it. But when I checked out the website I was appalled at the price. It was over $50 a person for anyone over two. Insane. Of course they sell you on the “bargain” of getting a passport to come back a second time or even a season pass. But the prices are outrageous. Then I saw a banner advertising group discounts for Sesame Place. If you bought 15 tickets the price was nearly half. So I picked a date and sent out an email to all my friends with families to see if anyone was interested in making a group excursion – the price was lower and it would be fun bumping into friends all day at the park. And it worked.

Yesterday was the big day – we had a group of 8 preschoolers, 7 moms, 3 dads, 3 infants, 2 grandmas and a nanny! The weather was a little cool for water park weather and we had a few little thunderstorms but as a result the park was pretty empty which was really ideal. It seems everyone had a blast. My mom accompanied me and the boys and we alternated taking Noah on stuff. It was great to have another set of hands and it was nice watching Noah enjoy hanging out with Grandma. I didn’t even get jealous when he preferred her for most of the rides. And Ray was a champ. After only a one hour nap he was awake from 10:30 am to nearly 7:30 pm – and not even grumpy. He was just taking it all in. (Actually it isn’t too uncommon for Ray to go long periods of time without a nap. He is the second child after all and amazingly resilient.) It really was a fantastic day. And spending time with different friends throughout the day made it all the better. All of the kids were utterly ecstatic. I hope to do some other group outings, if not for a discount just for the companionship.

My favorite memories of the day were seeing Noah beam with joy and pride after riding an inner tube water rapid ride all by himself, Noah's fear and yet utter fascination with the roller coaster, Ray pointing at every costumed character, and Ray SO exhausted from the day that he got incredibly clumsy and proceeded to flop happily all over the padded toddler zone.

And now a few notes about Sesame Place: Bring insane amounts of money. Though we got discounted admission and discounted lunch vouchers – the $13 parking set the tone for the day. They don’t allow coolers but I did bring an insulated lunch box with snacks, fruit and veggies so we didn’t spend any additional cash on food until an evening soft pretzel purchase. See the parade and a show or two to break up the day. Both Noah and Ray really loved them. And wear water shoes if you have them, the ground is killer on bare feat. Take photos – unfortunately I had my hands full with Ray and didn’t really take any so I have to wait for others to share them some with me.

Daddy dearest

This weekend I was discussing babies with a father-to-be. He confessed that he was a bit jealous of his wife’s pregnancy. Everything was changing for her and yet for him it was still all the same. At this point it was all about her. I responded by essentially telling him “Get use to it.” For a man who wants to be an equal partner in the raising of his children the hardest part of being a father is not being the mother. It’s probably mostly biology that causes children to be so often clamoring for Mama. I’m often feeling so bad for Mark when he’s essentially begging Noah to let him help with something meanwhile Noah just whines for me. And though some of that has to do with me being the primary around the clock caretaker – that isn’t all of it. I was quite surprised when one of our neighbors who is a stay-at-home Dad confessed that the moment his wife steps in the door from work that the kids want nothing but her. So not only are Dads giving and sacrificing – but often they don’t get the same cooperation, recognition and lavish affection that Moms get. It must be hard.

Mark is a fabulous husband and father. He is appreciative, interested, committed, and loving. He is a great support for me – always wanting to know what he can do to help and how he can make me happier and ease some of my stress. He focuses not only on how to parent children but how to raise well rounded adults. And as with everything he does, he doesn’t give himself enough credit. But anyone who knows Mark or even just reads about Mark on this blog knows that he doesn’t just deserve a card or even a round of applause – that he deserves some sort of medal. But in absence of that a nice breakfast, some cards, kiddie drawings, Tshirts, photos and Reeses peanut butter cups will have to make do. Oh and this – I love you, Mark. Thank you.

Ahoy Matey.

I took the boys to The Franklin Institute today. It was our second visit. The museum is really intended for much older children but there are a few hands on exhibits that really can captivate smaller children. Noah has consistently been asking to walk through the large human heart since our last visit. Today we walked through it twice, learned about the heart, the brain and bones – then learned about The Sky Tonight in the planetarium. It was our first planetarium visit and Noah was really in awe of it. Next we rode the train, sat in the fighter plane and then headed to the special exhibit. When we got to the museum Noah was immediately intrigued by the current special exhibit on pirates. I wasn’t planning on going to it since it was an additional fee but since we got in to the rest of the museum for free I figured why the hell not. And I’m so glad I did – it was pretty breathtaking and Noah really enjoyed the drama of it. It really was on the scary side – there were moments I was even creeped out by the music, the lighting, the pirate mannequins. But Noah is in a stage now where he likes to be a bit scared. I picked up the pace a bit when we got to the part where you walk through a recreation of the ship because Noah was obviously a bit scared but about halfway through he asked to go back to the beginning again. He really enjoyed it. Some of the subject matter of the exhibit was too adult for him – about slavery, drowning and death sentences – but I was able to just sort of whisk him past those parts and tell him what I wanted him to know. I got him a tube of plastic pirate figures to spur on his imagination. Tonight before bed he and Mark were doing a story where the pirates were getting on and off of the trolley to look for their treasure. I had another great day with him. I really love watching Noah soak up new things and I’m always really impressed by what a great student/audience member he is. If you put any person in front of a group or on a stage he will become instantly engrossed no matter the subject matter. He is just a natural learner and I hope that always stays with him.

As you can probably guess Noah has bounced back from his week of darkness. It really seemed to be a product of being overtired after being sick. The other day I thanked him for helping me put away the groceries and he said “I am SO nice.” And I said “Yes, you are.” To which he said “Not like those other days… those were SO BAD.” I was sort of taken aback for a second – I didn’t want to dwell on it or make him feel any more guilty. So I said “You were having a grumpy patch. It happens.” And then we went back to the groceries.

And Ray? He is really mastering this walking thing. He’s also a crazy climber – always trying to haul himself up on things. He’s trouble for sure. But also amazingly fun and adorable. Just thinking about him makes me break into a bemused smile. What a funny little dude.

Day at the Beach

Today we took a day trip to Ocean City. I’d never taken a day trip to the beach with Noah before, despite it only being an hour away. I was always daunted by the idea of being incredibly sandy with no place to clean off before going home. And that is what happened today – I now really need to vacuum out the van. But today was really a fantastic day so I see more in our future. All it took was one friend saying “Hey, you free on Tuesday? We’re thinking of taking the kids to the beach?” And then we asked another friend and the result was four adults and six kids frolicking in the sand and surf. It was Ray’s first beach day. He was intimidated by the ocean – the cold water and the crashing of the waves – but he adores the sand. We dug a wading pool that the ocean filled up for the babies to hang out in. Ray could have stayed in there all day. Meanwhile Noah is in love with the ocean. He just couldn’t get enough. He didn’t even seem to care that the amusement pier was closed. And we got to share it all with friends, friends covered in sand. It was a perfect day. With sand.

In the midst of a feast

The boys. Forced to be affectionate and mug for the camera while trying to consume snacks during one of Noah's pretend picnics.

Check em out yo!

Just a few of my favorite recent photos. The boys at the zoo, hanging in the living room, Master Noah and Mistress Bella and Eggerts men watering our tree on a very hot summer city day.

Just Travelin Man

If Noah didn't keep jumping in front of Ray he might be in Mexico by now.
And the waving? Not sure if that is a balance or an exceitment thing but it must be typical since Ray's little friend Ivan does it too, but with both hands.

It's growing and growing.

So much. So much.

I’ll start with Ray. In the last week he’s gone from taking his first official steps to spanning impressive distances. He’s also saying “Mama,” moving his head back and forth crazily ala Stevie Wonder when he’s happy and eating almost entirely table food and no baby food. He’s still really “world oriented” and by that I mean that he’d rather explore, move, interact and take things apart rather than play with toys. And he picks up skills amazingly fast – he took to drinking out of cups overnight, both in a tip-back sippy and with a straw. I find that particularly amazing since he hadn’t drank from anything other than when he nursed. Like Noah he was never been bottle fed and yet was like “GIVE ME THAT CUP.” It took Noah quite awhile to be in to the whole cup thing. Ray’s also doing a good job of picking up the baby sign language. In the last week he started doing the sign for “No” which I do when I tell him not to do something. And he’s using it a lot – to talk back by saying “No” to me after I’ve said it to him, to ask me if something is okay by signing “No” while touching something and giving me a quizzical look, and just to voice unhappiness by signing it while crying. He’s doing so well with the few signs I’ve used that I really need to add more so he can express himself better. So Ray is really blooming.

Noah however is having a tough time. He’s physically recovered from the pink eye and the days of feverishness but he’s exhausted. His body needs extra sleep but he’s fighting it. He doesn’t nap and he’s getting up at 6 am every morning – despite being a zombie. And his behavior had really been trying. I really was at the end of the rope with him yesterday. He was being so defiant, so stubborn, so difficult, so emotional – and I’m not accustomed to having to deal with that. Over a month ago he went through like a week or so of being really difficult but then it turned around and he was back to being fairly reasonable and angelic for a 3 year old. So hopefully the evilness of the last few days will turn around quickly once he gets some more rest. He’s also on a break from school since his school year ended in mid-May and he doesn’t start the summer program until July – and I think the loss of that structure, socialization time and accountability to other authority figures has something to do with it. Friends have also commented that he seems to have gotten a lot taller and more slender in the last few weeks so maybe a growth spurt is also in the mix. Whatever the reason – things best get back to normal soon. On the upside he’s more into his music now more than ever. Constantly asking me to put on something specific and asking me to turn it up or be quiet so he can hear a certain part. He wants to share his favorites with everyone and feels disappointed when they aren’t as taken with them as he is. After his love of the drama of the Disney ride music I figured he’d like movie soundtrack music so we took a few out of the library. At the moment he is loving the soundtrack to Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire. I also recently bought him a used Ipod Mini on Ebay and a docking station for his room (It’s amazing what great deals you can get on outdated technology) – all of his music was taking all the space up on the used Ipod Mini that I bought for myself last year. And he just loves having his own Ipod. On his own he also decided that we should have a fair schedule for music selection so he decided he got to pick breakfast music, I got lunch and Daddy got dinner. Unless of course if we have lunch guests and then he got to pick the music if he has something he wanted them to hear.

And what is new with me? A lot of food stuff. I’m on a quick diet for the next few weeks to see if I can drop a few more pounds before we go to the beach. I hate dieting. I’m hungry and grumpy – but since I have an end date I can just aim for the light at the end of the tunnel. On a more positive note I finally put together that gas grill that we bought about two months ago. Did I mention that? It was supposed to take 30 minutes to assemble but after three hours I shoved it in a closet for two months. Ahem… well I finished assembling it on Sunday and we’ve been grilling, grilling, grilling. Also we’re high on greens. We joined the Greensgrow CSA again this year and our shares started two weeks ago. This year we got a vegetarian share because I’m weird about certain kinds of meat and there was just too much last year that I wasn’t really interested in cooking. I think we still have two kinds of sausage and a kind of stew meat in our freezer. Plus I was jealous of the vegetarians last year “HEY! They get three other veggies/fruits and all I got was this damn whole chicken.” Anyway – I love the CSA experience. I love that it’s local. I love that it’s good for the planet and our neighborhood. I love that we are trying new veggies and exposing Noah to such a wide variety of garden food. And I love just having to be a bit imaginative in what I’m serving for dinner. It’s not the same handful of things I always cook – it’s like “What am I going to do with collard greens and turnips?” But it’s not all just weird stuff. Tomorrow I pick up strawberries, tomatoes, asparagus, kale, extra sharp cheddar cheese, spring salad mix, mushrooms, spring onions, yogurt, and herbs. YUM. I totally encourage anyone to try out a CSA in the future or at the very least to seek out local farmers markets.

Okay. I am late for watching part one of the Top Chef finale.

The eyes have it.

"My eyebrow is stuck in my eye and it hurts SO BAD."
Noah woke up at 4 am with pink eye.

Are we in Scranton or Seattle?

I’m not a great outdoors kind of person. It’s not that I’m high maintenance. It’s just that I find the whole camping, fishing, hiking thing to be a bit boring. I like to DO STUFF. To SEE THINGS. I prefer excursions to museums, shows and restaurants on vacation. So when we planned our trip to a cottage on Lake Henry I’ll admit I wasn’t too excited. But I was looking forward to sitting outside in the sunshine, eating nice picnic meals and overlooking a lake. However when the weather forecast for our trip wasn’t looking so hot I started dreading vacation. I was very irritable about packing and I could not manage to get up the energy to get excited even a bit. You should pity poor Mark – who was genuinely excited and I was really dragging him down. The Lake House vacation was his dream and I was just being pissy.

And the weather was pretty crummy. Not as bad as it could be – not pouring rain. But cold, grey, and drizzly for the most part. But I’m happy to report we had a really good time anyway. We layered up, put on rain gear and stayed busy. Yes, busy. I don’t find “relaxing” vacations to be fun. Plus I’ve said it before but it bears repeating – vacationing with small children is not relaxing. In fact a SAHM does not really get a vacation because her every day work is still in progress. In fact it may be harder as schedules are thrown out the window and there isn’t a full arsenal of toys and art supplies. Mark said himself that it was just nice for him to not be at work and to be spending more time with the boys – but what could he do for me? So seeing things and going out is what makes it vacation for me. And as I’ve said repeatedly it’s easier for me to have the kids out doing things and seeing things than to entertain them in the house. So we went to the Steamtown Train Museum, the Electric City Trolley Museum, Nay Aug Park, Genesis Wildlife Sanctuary, and MacDade Park. We also paddle-boated, fished (mostly just fed them), kited, and hiked. It wasn’t my dream vacation from the start but I had a really nice time. We made a lot of happy vacation memories and will probably go back to Lake Henry.