Before Mark and I got married we had a few pre-marital counseling sessions. The woman who married us wanted to know something about us before conducting our ceremony and she wanted to talk to us about marriage's challenges. Mark and I both came from broken homes and were approaching marriage with a very real sense of "We know it's hard. We mean forever and are willing to work hard for it." After talking to us about our families and our relationship Reverend Beverly had some concerns. She said that I had a very strong need to be a caretaker, a mother, and Mark had a need to be taken care of, mothered. And that while it worked great for us now that once we had children it might pose real problems. My maternal needs would be met by taking care of the kids but Mark would be left feeling neglected, with me resenting his need.
Reverend Beverly was dead on. Three hundred percent of me goes into taking care of the kids. I'm not complaining - I love it. I thrive on it. But I'm so wrapped up in it there isn't anything left for me or for Mark. And Mark works so hard at being a good husband. He wants nothing more to make me happy - to do what is necessary to make everything work. To him being a good husband makes him a good father. And he doesn't get alot back - at least not directly. I'm tough on him.I have high expectations, I'm particular about how I do things and I don't delegate well.
I am a good mom. It's who I am. I work hard at it. And I love it. But I can be a really sucky wife. I need to be better. Oddly enough I feel like I need to take more for myself in order to be a better wife. To give more to Mark. It needs work. But I meant forever and am willing to work harder at it.