Tonight I went out to dinner with a group of friends. Over the years we have tried to get together on a regular basis to talk and try out new restaurants. Since Lee has been born this is only the second time we've met out. I tried to change up Lee's nap schedule so he'd take a real late nap right as I was going out, but of course that didn't work. That never works. But all was well. Mark and the boys handled Lee-Lee fine. And he didn't even cry until I came home. It's like he saw me and was like "Oh yeah! Where the hell were you?"
The hard thing about going out with friends is that it's always this small window - and we're all going around the table talking about what is new with each one of us and then the time is gone. And we're just at the tip of the iceberg. And I walk home thinking about all the stuff I wanted to hear about them and their lives and how maybe I'll hear more next time. How I wish I was less distracted. How I hope they know how much it means to me to still play a small part in their lives.
And on a very bizarre note - I'm going out tomorrow too. A very unusual double header. This time with very new friends. And all the uncertainty of getting to know new people. Of wondering what they think of me. And hoping to have a fun and comfortable good time in a very small time window. I'm nervous.