Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Insha’Allah

Prior to heading off on our honeymoon to Morocco Mark and I did a lot of research, not only on places to stay, to eat, to visit, but also the culture. One of the things we learned was the term “Insha’Allah” – an Arabic phrase meaning “if God wills” that is intended to be used after any proclamation of what is to happen in the future – even something as routine as discussing tomorrow’s weather. I was instantly taken with this idea. I’m not a conventionally religious person, but I do have a real feeling that there are higher powers – other wills at work in our lives besides our own. Saying “Insha’Allah” to me is a really graceful way of reminding myself that as strong as my will for a certain outcome may be, I’m never in complete control. I find that idea both humbling and also freeing.

Fertility issues are certainly an instance in which one is forced to recognize that control is not yours alone. As girls we grow up thinking we could get pregnant at any second, like our uteruses are ticking time bombs – and when we’re ready to have kids we think the only thing we need to make that happen is our decision to do so. And for some that is the case, but unfortunately not for all. Some fight quite a battle with biology and the fertility process, never to win in the conventional way – and some come out the other end with a truckload of heartbreak soon healed by a child that though not biologically their own they can appreciate much more than someone who didn’t have to think twice before they got pregnant. And well, some just give up because all the dead ends, powerlessness and pain is too all encompassing.

As most of you know Mark and I aren’t the most fertile people on the planet. It took us seven months of trying to get pregnant with Noah, and we’ve been trying to get pregnant with a second since he was 9 months old. After a year of trying we met with my OB who proclaimed us not infertile but “subfertile” – obviously we could get pregnant but for us it was more like gambling against the house. We saw a fertility specialist in September who noted that with Mark’s slightly less than perfect sperm count and my luteal phase defect (natural - not just from nursing) that we definitely had an uphill battle. She recommended I start on estrogen or Clomid – and possibly artificial insemination. Of course I was still nursing Noah once a day and therefore couldn’t start taking hormones so at that time we decided to keep giving it the old fashioned college try through the end of 2006 and think about starting hormone treatment in January. To some our consideration of aiding nature may have seemed extreme, but after a year plus of monthly disappointment and crying jags, it didn’t seem at all extreme – just scary.

On Thanksgiving morning I found out we had another thing we could be truly thankful for – I was four weeks pregnant. After sixteen months of trying and an alternate course planned, we could barely believe it was possible we had finally gotten lucky from just gettin’ lucky. So I’m overjoyed to announce that as of today I am twelve weeks pregnant – and we are due to have a second child on or around August 1st, Insha’Allah.

And now I’ve stopped worrying about getting pregnant and started worrying about staying pregnant, having a healthy child, and juggling the physical and emotional needs of two. Stay tuned for all that noise.

16 comments:

Allison said...

Congratulations!!! I know I haven't commented much lately, but I am so glad to hear this! I keep reading on a daily basis :)

lonna said...

I have tears in my eyes as I'm writing this. I am so incredibly happy for the three (four) of you! I hope that everything goes super smoothly for you and for the little one. Little Noah is such a sweetheart that I can't imagine how much love he'll have for a sibling.

Missuz J said...

!!!!!!

What amazing news!!! I'm so, so, so, so happy for all of you.

Just--awesome!

amandak said...

Oh My Gosh!!

SO Exciting!

Congratulations to you all.

Jen said...

Yay! I'm very happy for you. So great that Noah will have a sibling to grow up with.

OldMotherHubbardSharesAll said...

AWESOME - Congrats! Noah will make the bestest big brother! Man I'm as excited for you as I was my own daughters (well short of the whole I can't be grandma to it!) Congrats again - keep us posted and start taking pictures I find them so cool to look at the blessings grow each week (month if you prefer!)

Julie said...

We are so so so happy for you! And we'll forgive you for not 'fessing up when we saw you in December.

Best wishes that a surge of energy comes in the second trimester - I remember when I was pregnant not being able to imagine how pregnant people found the energy to care for toddlers . . . with any luck, we'll find out ourselves before too long! (Insha' Allah.)

Julie said...

Had to come back and say . . . by my calculations, you guys were gettin' busy just after your anniversary. Right? What kind of wine was that? :)

patrice said...

it's always the wine with these two. seriously.

noah will be a great big brother and you two will be just as surprised at how manageable it is with two as you were surprised by how manageable it is with one.

I second the emotion on regularly scheduled belly pictures. it makes a lovely flipbook. know that my second pregnancy popped out WAY earlier than my first did, in case you were wondering if you're showing earlier than you did before.

Katy said...

My excited face is this kind of scrunched, yet mouth wide open mostrosity with my hands flapping randomly by my face. You just made me do that at the university library. I think the guy next to me thought I was having a seizure.

Anywho! Very excited to meet baby eggert part deux.

Congratulations!!!!

Anna said...

Congratulations! I am so thrilled for you and Mark! And Noah will have a little brother or sister at the end of the summer, Insha'Allah.

Sorry I haven't commented much, but I just want you to kno how very happy I am for you and your little family! All my best wishes for you!

Katiemagic said...

I KNEW it!!!! I'm so happy for you three (and 1/2). CONGRATULATIONS.

XOXO

Anonymous said...

Congratulations.

Anonymous said...

Hallo Nicole,
this late comment comes from Germany. I'm very glad of every word you wrote about this exciting news. Of course, all my good wishes are with you and your family.
Your Greatuncle Wolfgang

Theresa said...

Congratulations! Such great news!

Anonymous said...

We are so excited to hear the news!
We have somehow lost your e-mail address. Please e-mail us @ earnone@comcast.net
Much love,
Cousins Lizz & Bill