Thanks to everyone for their warm wishes and congratulations! It means so much to us. The following sums up some of what's going on with Project Baby.
How am I feeling?
In a word – exhausted. I take a nap almost every day while Noah gets his – it’s the main reason I’ve not been blogging or answering much email. I’m sleeping away my personal time and it’s worth it. As for sickness – I have a general green, queasy seasick feeling that comes and goes during the day but it’s not serious and thankfully I’ve not become physically ill. Am I hungry – hell yes. But not for anything I’m thinking about making myself. It must be presented to me without my involvement in preparation. Like when I was pregnant with Noah carbs and sugar are high on the palatable list – but so are fruit and vegetables and as of yet I don’t think I’m over indulging too much, at least so sayeth the scale. Time will tell.
Have we discussed the new baby with Noah?
Yes. He knows “WE” are having a baby and he’s both cautious and excited – while of course not being fully able to comprehend the change on the horizon. Generally he’s pretty put off by babies – they cry and are unpredictable, two things he doesn’t like about other children. And when I’ve held the babies of others he has hung his head, cried and hid. None of which is the best indicator of a smooth transition. However the boy is full of love – and in theory likes babies. He’s still carting Baby George around, feeding him, telling him he missed him while he was sleeping, telling him he loves him. When we went to the Please Touch Museum recently he found a baby doll in a crib and then proceeded to carry it around the rest of the museum – grocery shopping, to the barnyard, and on the bus. He put it in a high chair in the house and was agonized but passive when on two separate occasions other little boys came up and took the baby out of the chair, threw it on the floor and undressed it before leaving it behind. He waited until they left, dusted it off, hugged it and then continued to gently carry it around. He’s also started being more interested in real babies – commenting that friends infants are smiling at him or that they have little hands. And of course he’s interested in the birth process – wanting to see pictures of himself as a small baby, hiding under a blanket on my lap and pretending to be born while I say “WOW! He’s so big and SO alert,” and telling me “I have a baby in my beddy… and now he’s in my foot. He’s getting big!” At Christmas time a family member asked Noah where the baby was and he said “In August” and then “In Florida” – which was where his Aunt Lisey had her baby.
Have you been for a checkup?
Yes, but just one. I have an appointment next week. I’m really looking forward to it because we should be able to hear the heartbeat.
Are we going to find out the sex of the baby?
I sure as hell hope so. We found out with Noah and I really feel knowing he was a boy helped me to really connect with the realization that there was a real little person in there. But don’t I want to be surprised you may ask – NO. Babies are uncertainly after surprise after uncertainty. I think it’s nice to know something. My Doc said they will do an ultrasound at 20 weeks and I am counting down the days.
You want a boy or a girl?
Either. It’d be nice to have a girl so we can experience that, but also nice for Noah to have a brother. Not to mention we could use all the same clothes again.
Are you showing?
My pot belly is more pronounced – and depending on what I’m wearing you can or can’t tell.
How does it compare with your prior pregnancy?
I really don’t remember feeling this rundown during the first trimester. Of course then I sat at a desk all day rather than running after and carrying a two year old. But I also don’t remember feeling this… UGLY. Forget pregnant glow. My hair is lank and shaggy and my skin is horribly broken out and shiny. They say being pregnant with a girl sucks the life out of you, and if there is any truth to that then I’d guess we’re having a little miss.
Are you thinking about names yet?
Yes. I never stopped thinking about names. We’ve always had a girl’s name picked out – Muriel, the name of Mark’s late mother. I think it’s old and elegant – and it honors a woman that though I never had the chance to really meet – that I feel a kinship with and whom by all accounts was fun, ebullient and kind. Because of her reported love of the shore and the way she’s been described to me I always picture her as warm, sunny and treasured as the perfect beach day. And who wouldn't want to feel that way about their daughter? Boys names however are tough. I don’t have any true affinities for any particular names. With Noah we had a huge list of names we kept adding to and removing from – and we ended up with Noah because it was the only one we both consistently liked. I also liked that it meant calm or peace in Hebrew – when most boys names mean “warrior” or something equally confrontational. So what are we looking for in a boys name? Old, simple, short, and something slightly atypical without being too odd.
YES! Many. I’m worried about the baby’s health and birth a bit but my biggest worries are about Noah and I. Of course the main reason we wanted to have another child is that we wanted Noah to have a sibling – someone to share his entire life with. However I fully understand that the first year of adjustment is going to be really rough. Noah is SO sensitive and so attached to me that I know it’s going to be tough for him to share me and all the attention he is accustomed to. Yes- he’ll do it, but that doesn’t mean it’s gonna be easy. And what if it changes his sweet personality? And then there is me. I’ve learned that every Mom worries a bit that they won’t love the second one as much – or that they will have to love the first one less – and I’m no exception to that rule. I am SO in love with Noah, with being his Mom, with his personality, his intelligence and sensitivity – I honestly and sickly feel that he is the perfect child for me and in so many ways he makes it SO easy to be not only a full-time SAHM but for me to feel like a good mom. And I worry that this second child will shatter some of those illusions. As I’ve said – I’d clone Noah if I could – but this child isn’t going to be Noah. He or she is going to be their own person with their own strengths and foibles and I’m already worried I’ll feel like he or she won’t be measuring up – and neither will I. But I guess you have to worry about something. Last time I kept having dreams where I kept forgetting I had a baby and would accidentally leave him places.
Any more questions?