Wednesday, September 05, 2007

What I Did On My Summer Vacation or, The Numbers Don’t Lie

by Marksthespot

  • Rode 1 Duckboat – received 4 plastic quackers
  • Visited 1 zoo – saw 1 baby tiger cub (out of a possible 2)
  • Enjoyed 1 Indian-American festival – wondered if Noah would enjoy a Bollywood dance class
  • Spent 1 afternoon on 3 trains and 1 ferryboat – in a big circle
  • Attended 5 outstanding family picnics – with 3 different branches of family
  • Watched 140 hours of baseball – spent 20 hours doing it (thanks, DVR!)
  • Made a list of 25 non-child-related “Things to Get Done” – did 3 of them
  • Rejected 2 onesies as too small – already!
  • Changed 150 diapers – got peed on 147 times
  • Was spit up on 69 times – less than expected
  • Received 12 brief infant smiles making it all worth it – 7 may have been gas
  • Acted in 189 performances of record-breaking off-Broadway hit Momma’s Got a Baby in Her Belly – played role of Big Sister 112 times, Grandmother 52 times, Momma 21 times, The Doctor 4 times and Tiny Baby 0 times
  • Received 0 positive responses to suggestion that I lay on the bed for just a few minutes before playing with trains – at 7 a.m.
  • Watched 53 episodes of Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood – saw Lady Aberlaine at 30, 40 and 50 years old
  • Listened to Icky Thump 47 times – participated in 7 “Jack and Meg” shows as acted out by Noah
  • Juggled 2 baby monitors with 3 receivers – across 4 floors
  • Had 104 nighttime sleep interruptions – and got off easy, compared with Nicole
  • Woke up 6 times in Noah’s bunkbed – with a 75-inch frame for my 76-inch frame
  • Experienced 30 instances of the joyful satisfaction of getting my child to sleep – 15 times infant division, 15 times preschooler division
  • Cut 18 tags out of brand-new underpants – 7 Thomas, 7 Elmo, 4 miscellaneous
  • Cleaned up just 4 potty-training accidents – in over a month!
  • Handed out 22 toys celebrating potty success – total cost, $23
  • Used 29 sick days, 6 vacation days – all worth it
  • Lost major patience 9 times – apologized 9 times (hopefully)
  • Gave out 1,172 unsolicited kisses – Nicole 175 (should have been more), Noah 397, Ray 606 (he can’t run away), all at once 14 times (yes, it can be done)


Carol said...

This made me smile so much - I have numbers to add - I have read it 3 times already and forwarded to 2 girlfriends.

patrice said...

you're a great daddy...I just love your family.

I was just thinking the other day about having a conversation with nicole while walking to her apartment about you getting an apartment and both of you coyly saying "if SOMEONE were to move in, this could be SOMEONE'S closet..."

lonna said...

So, so sweet. I wish I could see my crazy family life through your eyes.

We hear Nicole talk about what a great dad you are, but it's so wonderful to hear it in your own words.

OldMotherHubbardSharesAll said...

Made how many other WIVES jealous for Nicole having such an awesome Husband/helpmate?

Good for you!

juliloquy said...

I tell Chris frequently that Shmooie is (and Polly will be) so lucky to have such an involved father. I can say the same about you and your boys!