I have never seen as much sorrow and grief as I saw today. This morning Mark and I went to the viewing and services for his cousin Stephanie’s two year old daughter Sophia who died unexpectedly this past Wednesday. Sophia was a seemingly healthy and vibrant two year old girl until she was diagnosed with an enlarged heart and passed away in the span of week. There are no condolences appropriate, no sense to be made, no silver lining. There are no words. It is every parents' worst nightmare.
I can’t stop thinking about Stephanie and Joe, what they are going through and what they will go through every day, how they will manage to make it through – and also of Anna Rose, Sophia’s 4 year old big sister, what she understands and the pain she will always carry with her. I was considering sending a picture book on loss of a loved one to Anna Rose and as I was doing some research I came across an independently published book called “Am I still a big sister?” The title alone made me weep.
I am once again reminded to be so thankful for what I have, and yet I feel so guilty clutching at my children greedily when I know how empty and lost Stephanie and Joe must feel. My heart goes out to anyone who has ever endured this kind of unimaginable loss. And yet that means so little.