Last night was a bad night. Originally there had been plans for me to go out with some friends for Quizzo, but only one person remembered. When Brian called I decided it was probably best I not go out. Noah had been a bit cranky all day, drooling a lot and feeling a bit warm so I had the hunch that he might not go to bed on time for me to make it the bar. It was a good hunch. My plan for the evening after Quizzo fell through was to work on Thank You notes, watch Amazing Race and get to bed early. I started trying to put Noah to bed shortly before 8 pm, and finally completed the task at 10. Whenever it takes that long for me to get him to sleep I end up feeling totally frustrated and last night was certainly no exception. I was too tired to work on notes and I was REALLY pissed off when I realized Amazing Race wasn’t on because of the damned CMAs. (I could go off on a rant here about how much I HATE contemporary country music, big hats, Americana, trucks and macho men but I’ll spare you.) I putzed around for an hour and went to bed at 11. At 1 am Noah woke up crying. For an hour I tried to get him back to sleep, and for an hour he fussed. At 2 I decided we best leave the room so Mark could get some decent sleep. We went into Noah’s room and for the next two hours he pulled the entire contents of the room apart. He emptied nearly every drawer and every cabinet on to the floor and giddily spread it around while I sat half comatose on the floor trying to keep my eyes open. At 4 I was finally able to settle him down and get him to sleep in the guest bedroom so Mark wouldn’t wake us when he got up at 6:30 to get ready for work. When we woke up at 8:30 I was feeling pretty strung out. It was looking to be a long day. Surprisingly I’m not feeling quite as zombified as I had expected. It’ll probably hit me tomorrow morning.
As you know I had built up Francesca’s birthday luncheon as some sort of grand event. Those who know me will attest to the fact that I seldom wear makeup. I’m not skilled at applying it and I honestly don’t like the way it feels on my (bad) skin. Whenever I ‘ve tried to wear more makeup I’ve felt like a clown. Before Noah I’d wear a bit of powder to mask some of my shininess, an occasional coat of nude lipstick and when going out on the town some mascara. Since Noah was born I’ve probably put on mascara less than ten times, and I’m normally too busy running around the house getting a diaper bag ready for me to even find my powder. But TODAY I put on powder, lipstick AND mascara, so you can tell I was worried about making a good impression on the other moms. I carefully picked out my v-neck black sweater that is like 5 years old but still my favorite, a pair of black pants and my clunky loafers. (I decided after looking at photos from the party that my only new sweater was decidedly unflattering since it accentuated my lumpy midsection.) I even put on a necklace AND perfume - which I never wear because I’m worried it will bother Noah. Of course it was all a ridiculous waste of time. There were only two other moms there that I didn’t know and we were all so busy with our kids that I barely got to talk to them. Noah was the only walker in total takeoff exploration mode so I was alone in having to repeatedly chase my child all the way through the house to the kitchen. The other kids actually played together and with toys while Noah stared, pointed and then went on walkabout. Ho hum. Maybe I need to join some sort of Mommy and Me group to meet other moms – but honestly I don’t know if I care to wear lipstick that often.
It seems pretty obvious at this point that Noah is shy. In a new place with new people it takes him quite a bit of time for him to warm up. He spends a great deal of time clinging and watching. Mark worries about it – he doesn’t’ want his son to be as introverted and lonely as he felt as a child. He wants to know what we can do to prevent it. I told him I don’t think there’s much we can do. Sure, we can make sure to get Noah in social situations so that he’s not afraid of other kids and we can instill him with self confidence by lavishing him with love, but I still think his reserved manner in new situations is a part of his innate personality. I’m not at all worried about it. Once he opens up he’s a real charmer with a smile that melts hearts. And I always preferred the shy, smart boys anyhow.
7 comments:
you crazy. that sweater was lovely.
you know, I've never thought of noah as shy - more like not crazy. like not hyper. not needing to jump in and grab the toys. I think it's great.
so you didn't get to really meet the mothers you didn't know? that's a shame. I do think a mommy and me thingie would be good. structure, other kids, a neutral place. are there some in your area?
I SO don't miss nights like those. Mine still get up occasionally, but nothing like the all night long, this-kid-better-sleep-or-I'm-literally-going-to lose-my-mind, marathons. It will get better, promise.
Too bad on not getting to know any new mommies. Sometimes it's good to put on makeup and your favorite outfit, even if it is just for your own enjoyment, though. I got all dressed up for Madeline's parent teacher conference, then took Zach out to breakfast in my sexy boots, just because. Of course, immediately after, I ran home and put on comfy shoes, cause you can only be hot for so long when you're hauling around a 3 year old.
Zach is also very shy. His dad worries about it a lot. I think it's partly his personality, and partly the fact that he hasn't ever been in day care or preschool (yet). He's used to being home, and here at home we like it mellow. Clark worries about it too, but I think it's fine, and he'll find his social wings when he's good and ready.
It doesn't sound to me like Noah is shy either. When it comes to infant/toddler temperament there are three main categories: easy, difficult, and slow to warm. It sounds like Noah is the last one. They are the most rare, but they are just cautious. I think that most of the mom's who read here would agree with me that most of our kids could use a little more cautiousness. Like Patrice said, not being spastic and taking in his environment first may not necessarily make him shy. He will also probably blossom the more that he interacts with different kids and different people in different places. I can see why Mark would be worried, though. If it made him uncomfortable to be like that as a kid, why would he want that for his own son?
I hate country music too. The only things worse than it are award shows.
You are right. Noah will be just fine. Shy guys are cool!
SO sorry about your long night. I'm pretty with you on the make-up thing. I did find though, that the tinted moisturizer is great.
Hope you get some sleep.
Being outgoing is overrated anyway. It takes me a while to warm up as well, I'm sure Noah will be totally fine growing up.
Make-up and everything huh, I'm impressed! I'm sorry it was a semi-bust.
Noah has never struck me as shy, either. He was very outgoing at his birthday party.
Were you guys planning to come to Quizzo at Bridget's? It's a shame you were unable to make it. Let me know in the future, though, if you're even thinking of coming. (I'll never hold you to it.) Since I often use you, Patrice, and Mark et al as a sounding board for questions, I want to make sure I don't give you any of the questions/answers ahead of time. You know, unfair advantage and all that...
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