I never thought another child could rival Noah’s talkativeness. At home he’s always chattering away – narrating some sort of story or show, asking deep questions or requesting a snack, a playmate, or just an ear to chatter at. However I do believe that Ray will be definitely as chatty if not more. The kid is completely conversational already. He understands what you are saying and he isn’t afraid to repeat ANYTHING. Sure sometimes even I have to take a second to figure out what the hell that was, but for the most part he’s pretty damn understandable. And he talks incessantly. At the moment is favorite word is “NOW.” As in “Go downstairs now,” “I want juice now,” “Watch TV now,” and “Outside to park now.” You get the general idea, that is if you magnify it to one hundred and don’t forget the vehemence. Ray turns two in less than a month. He remains true to his name, a ray of sunshine – warm, ebullient, vital and yet hot. I know - I've echoed that statement a million times. That is part of why I rarely blog anymore - I feel like I don't have a damn original thought in my head. One thing that has to be noted is how much he adores his brother. In the morning he’s typically up well before Noah and when we first hear Noah stir and about to come downstairs Ray lights up with pure joy. The other week I took Ray to a music performance while a friend took Noah on a different outing. I was sure Ray would have a blast because at the last one he and Noah danced up a storm. But this time there was no dancing. In fact he was down right mopey. I asked him why he wasn’t dancing and he said “Oah.” I said “You miss Noah?” And he said yes. And he would not dance. Shortly after the performance stopped Noah showed up and Ray said “Dance! Dance now!” Ray also loves my friend Janette’s one year old named Rendle. And by loves I mean also sort of hates. Ren has to endure Ray constantly taking things away from him and even yelling “mine!” if he looks in the direction of Ray while he is playing with something. And to make it more intriguing Rendle seems to enjoy screwing with Ray. He taunts him – showing him he has something with a big grin on his face or pointing at Ray’s dinner like he’s about to come over and take it from him. The two of them are hysterical. They are constantly squabbling. But when Ren isn’t here Ray says “Wish baby Ren Ren here.” Mark supposes he likes to have someone younger that he can assert his dominance over.
I wish I could say that Noah was just as effusive about his love for his brother – he isn’t. In fact he loves Baby Rendle too and tells me he wants me to have a little baby that he can play with because apparently Ray doesn’t fit the bill. Noah isn’t mean to Ray, in fact he’s never been an aggressive boy so we’ve never had to deal with much physical lashing out. But Noah is less patient with Ray than he is any other human being in the whole world. I wish so much that he was just a bit more affectionate to Ray. The only time he seems to dote on him is when he knows we are watching and is trying to win points. I hope he grows to appreciate him more. They have been getting better playing with each other but inevitably a dispute occurs. Ray is touching something Noah doesn’t want him to or Ray is angry because Noah won’t share something with him. The refereeing drives me a bit mad. If I need the two of them to agree on one thing like a TV show to watch they always want something different but if I have two different things to give out they both pick the same damn one. Gah! And of course the biggest dispute is over “My Mama TOO!” I guess that is what fulltime sibling relationships are like – having only ever had half and step siblings that I saw some of the time it wasn’t quite so damn competitive.
In other things Noah is fantastic. He really is growing up so much. He’s getting so smart and so tall. And I can hardly believe sometimes how incredibly social my once shy little boy has become. The boy I took to playgroup every week for a year and watched the other kids play while clinging to my leg – he’s now a frolicking chattery 4 year old who wants to run off with friends and not have me bother him. He’s seriously missing school – as am I. It’s hard work being Julie the cruise director every day of the damn week. Even those two three hour days were a day where the social agenda was just “SCHOOL DAY.” Now he wants a major outing or a playdate every damn day and if I dare to tell him it’s a quiet day on which we need to do errands he lambasts me about how “BORING” it is going to be. He starts a month long rec center summer program on July 7 with two of his best friends and we are both very excited for it.
Noah’s fascinations haven’t changed – it’s still all music, spies and circus around here. I guess a new development has been movies. Noah’s first theater film was Wall-E and since then he saw Desperaux, Disney’s Earth and Up. He adored them all. And we also didn’t watch much in the way of movies at home up until the last couple of months. And now we’ve been taking out movie after movie from the library. I still have to be a might careful about things that may be scary as he did not enjoy Nemo because it was too fast paced with fishes constantly on the brink of death. But oddly enough he isn’t scared by books. He’s been really enjoying the Spiderwick Chronicles series which is all scary mythical beasts, evil spells and parental abductions. Somehow that stuff doesn’t phase him. When he talks about being scared of a monster it is still of the Mouse King from the Nutcracker Ballet.
We are keeping ever busy here as usual, the Master demands it. Monday we went to Ocean City for the Day. Tuesday we went to Smith House and Franklin Square. Today we went to a local playground and library. Tomorrow we go out to breakfast and then to Sesame Place. Friday we go swimming at Grandma’s. Saturday we go see Nana and Pop Pop but have to hurry home in time to see the fireworks from our hood. And Sunday isn’t planned YET. And then 4th of July hoopla, followed by Ray’s birthday party, and then a week at Ocean City beach with my Mom. Fast forward to August. Or hell – Noah’s high school graduation is damn near around the corner. Maybe sometime between now and then I’ll get around to mopping the damn kitchen floor.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
It's marriage. And it's hard.
One night last week after all the kids were in bed my friend Janette was sitting on the couch next to me and she said she’d be happy to move if I wanted to cuddle up to Mark. Both Mark and I chuckled awkwardly and Mark said that he could hardly believe that there were times before we had kids that he secretly wished I’d give him a tiny bit more personal space and stop fawning over him every second. Of course nowadays he’s lucky to get a quick hug and a peck.
Confession: I am not good at balancing my roles as wife and mother. I’m a much better mother than I am a wife. There is a lot of talk about how doing things for ones self and ones marriage is of incredibly importance for the adults and the children and I understand that. Unfortunately that isn’t who I am. Motherhood consumes me. It is ALL of me. And I don’t know how to do it any other way. It is how I mother – naturally.
Reverend Beverly married Mark and I. She was recommended by a close friend of mine because she was incredibly open minded and yet not just a phone it in celebrant to lead the ceremony. I’m not conventionally religious and I wanted to make sure that our ceremony had a message but that it wasn’t specific to one God. Rev Bev said she would be happy to talk about LOVE rather than A God and that pleased me. But before she could do the ceremony we had to have 2 premarital sessions with her to talk about our families, our relationship and our marriage. I am a true believer in counseling and so we were happy to go. After hearing our family histories and the intricate details of who we were apart and who we were together she told us something that I think about regularly. She said that we were a pretty codependent couple. That Mark very much wanted mothering and I very much needed to mother and it worked perfectly for us, for the time being. But that there would come a time in the future when we had a family and Mark would be frustrated that he wasn’t getting the attention and mothering he once had and I would resent his neediness when I had others for whom I needed to care. Needless to say Rev Bev hit the nail on the head. This is exactly where we’ve been since the kids have been born.
Our message to Reverend Beverly during those counseling sessions were that we had both come from broken homes and had seen more than our fair share of failed marriages. We understood that marriage was WORK. And we were willing to work. For us. For the family that we wanted to have. For forever.
Luckily at the heart of our marriage we like each other. We have similar interests, similar politics, similar passions, and the same vision for our future. We share our goals and work towards them.
I love my crazy all consuming motherhood. I fear my children growing up and not needing me. The thought of it just makes m want to have more and more, a steady stream of cuddly wee ones. However I do look forward to a time when Mark and I get to really reconnect. When I can focus more on Mark – on doing things for him and getting to know him even better. And until then I just hope he hangs in there and waits for me. That though he may be feeling a bit jilted at the attention he no longer gets that he respects how I am mothering and why I am like this.
This weekend Mark is going to his 20th high school reunion alone. I still can’t be away from Ray overnight. Crazy? Maybe. But it’s me. I struggled with just leaving him with the in-laws and knowing he’d survive but I know myself and I know I’d be too consumed by it that I’d be a horrible date. And I want Mark to have a good time – so he’s going stag. I hope he’ll have fun. But I trust that it won’t be TOO much fun. And maybe he’ll miss me? A bit.
Confession: I am not good at balancing my roles as wife and mother. I’m a much better mother than I am a wife. There is a lot of talk about how doing things for ones self and ones marriage is of incredibly importance for the adults and the children and I understand that. Unfortunately that isn’t who I am. Motherhood consumes me. It is ALL of me. And I don’t know how to do it any other way. It is how I mother – naturally.
Reverend Beverly married Mark and I. She was recommended by a close friend of mine because she was incredibly open minded and yet not just a phone it in celebrant to lead the ceremony. I’m not conventionally religious and I wanted to make sure that our ceremony had a message but that it wasn’t specific to one God. Rev Bev said she would be happy to talk about LOVE rather than A God and that pleased me. But before she could do the ceremony we had to have 2 premarital sessions with her to talk about our families, our relationship and our marriage. I am a true believer in counseling and so we were happy to go. After hearing our family histories and the intricate details of who we were apart and who we were together she told us something that I think about regularly. She said that we were a pretty codependent couple. That Mark very much wanted mothering and I very much needed to mother and it worked perfectly for us, for the time being. But that there would come a time in the future when we had a family and Mark would be frustrated that he wasn’t getting the attention and mothering he once had and I would resent his neediness when I had others for whom I needed to care. Needless to say Rev Bev hit the nail on the head. This is exactly where we’ve been since the kids have been born.
Our message to Reverend Beverly during those counseling sessions were that we had both come from broken homes and had seen more than our fair share of failed marriages. We understood that marriage was WORK. And we were willing to work. For us. For the family that we wanted to have. For forever.
Luckily at the heart of our marriage we like each other. We have similar interests, similar politics, similar passions, and the same vision for our future. We share our goals and work towards them.
I love my crazy all consuming motherhood. I fear my children growing up and not needing me. The thought of it just makes m want to have more and more, a steady stream of cuddly wee ones. However I do look forward to a time when Mark and I get to really reconnect. When I can focus more on Mark – on doing things for him and getting to know him even better. And until then I just hope he hangs in there and waits for me. That though he may be feeling a bit jilted at the attention he no longer gets that he respects how I am mothering and why I am like this.
This weekend Mark is going to his 20th high school reunion alone. I still can’t be away from Ray overnight. Crazy? Maybe. But it’s me. I struggled with just leaving him with the in-laws and knowing he’d survive but I know myself and I know I’d be too consumed by it that I’d be a horrible date. And I want Mark to have a good time – so he’s going stag. I hope he’ll have fun. But I trust that it won’t be TOO much fun. And maybe he’ll miss me? A bit.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Elisha's Perfect Drug
My sister has yelled at me for not blogging. She is compelling me to blog, as if my silly drivel were her addiction. Yes ma'am. Only problem is that at the moment I can’t think of squat. Well, other than the fact that my sister Elisha and her beautiful son Hunter better be coming to visit me in August or I’m going to raise hell.
And YES I use beautiful for little boys. Little boys are beautiful. In my mind they are also allowed to have dolls, take dance and host tea parties. I’m wacky like that. It may be why my son would rather put on costumes and do shows and dance parties then play with matchbox cars or wrestle. But I doubt that. He likes those things because he’s rather imaginative and they are more fun. No one was ever turned gay by a tea set. And if by chance some day my boy tells me he’s gay I won’t blame it on his first baby doll. I have to admit I would cry though. Not because I think gay is wrong or that he should be ashamed. I’d be signing up for PFLAG the next damn day. But because there is so much hate for gays in the world and you don’t ever want to think of your child having to face hate. I don’t want to think about anyone’s child facing hate. And I don’t want my child harboring hate either. The human inclination to alienate the different and create an us against them mentality is so strong and disturbing. (It’s why I hate sports.) Recently I was asking him about some neighborhood kids he’d played with for the first time and he reluctantly said he didn’t like one of the boys very much. I had suspected as much and thought it was because the boy was a tad aggressive. But when I asked Noah why he told me it was because the boy’s hair was weird. I got really upset and lectured him up and down about how insignificant hair was and asking him if he thought that would be a good reason for another kid not wanting to play with him. On and on about how people are different and it is those differences that make us so special. I could see his eyes glaze over and changed the subject. But now I can’t get that out of my head – my sweet little boy didn’t like someone because of their hair. Mortifying.
Hmmm. So there. I blogged. I’m sure Elisha wanted some fun tales of crazy kid escapades. At the moment I can barely remember the day. The immediacy of Twitter is easier for me to document the little stuff. Hmmm… Today Ray started mimicking one of Noah’s favorite catch phrases - “What in the world?” Course from Ray it comes out “Waaa in Wurrrll?” It’s hysterical. As Ray often is. Both boys have been funny recently when they have been pretending to be pregnant – shoving stuffed animals up their shirts with Noah talking about his water breaking and his contractions. Noah actually has his baby and begins to care for it but Ray just wants to keep it in his shirt. Smart boy. Yesterday Noah was asking me to explain the concept of “the future” (Thankfully he’s not been watching LOST) and I was saying something coming soon like Daddy coming home for dinner could be the future or it could be farther away like when Noah has children of his own. Noah said he couldn’t have children, that was only for girls. I explained that though girls give birth to children that the Daddy’s still have children. That he and Ray are Daddy’s children. And Noah cocked his head to the size, chuckled, broke into a bemused grin and said “Oh! I never thought of it that way before.” I guess he thought Mark was just some guy who lived here.
There, Lisey, is that everything you were hoping for?
And YES I use beautiful for little boys. Little boys are beautiful. In my mind they are also allowed to have dolls, take dance and host tea parties. I’m wacky like that. It may be why my son would rather put on costumes and do shows and dance parties then play with matchbox cars or wrestle. But I doubt that. He likes those things because he’s rather imaginative and they are more fun. No one was ever turned gay by a tea set. And if by chance some day my boy tells me he’s gay I won’t blame it on his first baby doll. I have to admit I would cry though. Not because I think gay is wrong or that he should be ashamed. I’d be signing up for PFLAG the next damn day. But because there is so much hate for gays in the world and you don’t ever want to think of your child having to face hate. I don’t want to think about anyone’s child facing hate. And I don’t want my child harboring hate either. The human inclination to alienate the different and create an us against them mentality is so strong and disturbing. (It’s why I hate sports.) Recently I was asking him about some neighborhood kids he’d played with for the first time and he reluctantly said he didn’t like one of the boys very much. I had suspected as much and thought it was because the boy was a tad aggressive. But when I asked Noah why he told me it was because the boy’s hair was weird. I got really upset and lectured him up and down about how insignificant hair was and asking him if he thought that would be a good reason for another kid not wanting to play with him. On and on about how people are different and it is those differences that make us so special. I could see his eyes glaze over and changed the subject. But now I can’t get that out of my head – my sweet little boy didn’t like someone because of their hair. Mortifying.
Hmmm. So there. I blogged. I’m sure Elisha wanted some fun tales of crazy kid escapades. At the moment I can barely remember the day. The immediacy of Twitter is easier for me to document the little stuff. Hmmm… Today Ray started mimicking one of Noah’s favorite catch phrases - “What in the world?” Course from Ray it comes out “Waaa in Wurrrll?” It’s hysterical. As Ray often is. Both boys have been funny recently when they have been pretending to be pregnant – shoving stuffed animals up their shirts with Noah talking about his water breaking and his contractions. Noah actually has his baby and begins to care for it but Ray just wants to keep it in his shirt. Smart boy. Yesterday Noah was asking me to explain the concept of “the future” (Thankfully he’s not been watching LOST) and I was saying something coming soon like Daddy coming home for dinner could be the future or it could be farther away like when Noah has children of his own. Noah said he couldn’t have children, that was only for girls. I explained that though girls give birth to children that the Daddy’s still have children. That he and Ray are Daddy’s children. And Noah cocked his head to the size, chuckled, broke into a bemused grin and said “Oh! I never thought of it that way before.” I guess he thought Mark was just some guy who lived here.
There, Lisey, is that everything you were hoping for?
Friday, May 01, 2009
Then comes Noah in a baby carriage
I met Yvonne three summers ago at a mutual neighborhood friend’s playdate. Her daughter Maia was a few months older than Noah and they were both shy of two years old. When I started taking Noah to a playgroup in Fishtown I told Yvonne how much we were enjoying it and soon she was coming with Maia. And a year later when I decided it was time to put Noah in preschool and Yvonne and I settled on the same place I was thrilled that he would have a friend in his class. And now after two years of being in the same program, numerous playdates, art groups and field trips the two are beyond inseparable. She is his best friend. And I love to watch the two of them together. They never fight. They are almost always play acting a story – if she’s leading it’s about rescuing an animal and if he’s leading it’s about being spies. They tell each other jokes, things that aren’t remotely funny, and they laugh and laugh. And then they repeat the joke 10 times. And laugh.
Today I took Ray, Noah and Maia to Member’s Preview Night at Sesame Place. The weather forecast was looking grim with showers and thunder and greyness. And I initially tried to cancel. But Noah wanted to go SO bad. Not because of him, he understood that we had memberships and he could go on another day, but today he could bring a friend and without even hesitating he said he wanted to bring Maia. So it was really about sharing Sesame Place with Maia. He’d been talking about what rides she might like to go on and planning out their trip. When he was sick earlier in the week he kept counting down until Friday, so worried his illness would prevent us from going. So I decided to suck it up and go even though it was going to rain. Hell, maybe we’d get lucky. Well it RAINED. And it POURED. But before it got so bad we had to leave they went on a couple of rides (they made Ray and I sick), saw the character parade, saw a show and tested a sprinkler area before deciding it was too cold and time to walk to the car in the pissing down rain. But what I will remember most about our trip is how Noah is with Maia. He didn’t want to do anything she didn’t. He held her hand as we walked through the park, the both of them being so well behaved and manageable. When we sat down for a snack he had a sad look on his face and I asked what was wrong and he leaned into me and whispered “It’s a secret. Maia sat on my hand.” I could tell that it really hurt but he knew it was an accident so he didn’t want to mention it and upset her. When I put them in the back of the van and started to dress them in dry clothes the two of them wrapped up so close in the towel and kept giggling about how they were stuck together. And when I finished dressing Ray and they were next Noah told me Maia was the guest so she should be able to be dressed next. When Chickfila gave us two different Happy Meal toys he let her have the good one with the promise they could play with it together when he visited next. And they jumped around, joked and laughed while we ate huddled in the minivan in the parking lot – like it was the best time ever. Noah really loves her and I don’t say that in a corny, romantic way. I say that meaning that is friendship at it’s core, at it’s simplest and best. It makes me proud that he can love like that. That he can be that thoughtful at 4.
In the Fall Maia starts full time Pre K at a Philadelphia Charter school and Noah will be going to YCCA for three 6 hour days. It makes me really sad to separate them. This summer we’ll spend lots of time with her and her family and hopefully other summers too. And after the school year starts we’ll still have occasional play dates and meet ups at the park or the museums. But they will probably never be this close again. It’s sad. Is it weird I have been thinking about this for a few weeks now? It just says so much about life – all the powerful bonds we forge with people who make real impacts on our lives and yet most fade away. Of course they’ll always have Facebook…
Today I took Ray, Noah and Maia to Member’s Preview Night at Sesame Place. The weather forecast was looking grim with showers and thunder and greyness. And I initially tried to cancel. But Noah wanted to go SO bad. Not because of him, he understood that we had memberships and he could go on another day, but today he could bring a friend and without even hesitating he said he wanted to bring Maia. So it was really about sharing Sesame Place with Maia. He’d been talking about what rides she might like to go on and planning out their trip. When he was sick earlier in the week he kept counting down until Friday, so worried his illness would prevent us from going. So I decided to suck it up and go even though it was going to rain. Hell, maybe we’d get lucky. Well it RAINED. And it POURED. But before it got so bad we had to leave they went on a couple of rides (they made Ray and I sick), saw the character parade, saw a show and tested a sprinkler area before deciding it was too cold and time to walk to the car in the pissing down rain. But what I will remember most about our trip is how Noah is with Maia. He didn’t want to do anything she didn’t. He held her hand as we walked through the park, the both of them being so well behaved and manageable. When we sat down for a snack he had a sad look on his face and I asked what was wrong and he leaned into me and whispered “It’s a secret. Maia sat on my hand.” I could tell that it really hurt but he knew it was an accident so he didn’t want to mention it and upset her. When I put them in the back of the van and started to dress them in dry clothes the two of them wrapped up so close in the towel and kept giggling about how they were stuck together. And when I finished dressing Ray and they were next Noah told me Maia was the guest so she should be able to be dressed next. When Chickfila gave us two different Happy Meal toys he let her have the good one with the promise they could play with it together when he visited next. And they jumped around, joked and laughed while we ate huddled in the minivan in the parking lot – like it was the best time ever. Noah really loves her and I don’t say that in a corny, romantic way. I say that meaning that is friendship at it’s core, at it’s simplest and best. It makes me proud that he can love like that. That he can be that thoughtful at 4.
In the Fall Maia starts full time Pre K at a Philadelphia Charter school and Noah will be going to YCCA for three 6 hour days. It makes me really sad to separate them. This summer we’ll spend lots of time with her and her family and hopefully other summers too. And after the school year starts we’ll still have occasional play dates and meet ups at the park or the museums. But they will probably never be this close again. It’s sad. Is it weird I have been thinking about this for a few weeks now? It just says so much about life – all the powerful bonds we forge with people who make real impacts on our lives and yet most fade away. Of course they’ll always have Facebook…
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Can you forgive me?
This is rambling, repetitive and a downright shambles but at least I blogged. I blogged, damnit.
Our vacation is history. (Pitiful pun intended.) And all in all it went remarkably well. We got a Bounce Pass that enabled us to go to Busch Gardens & Colonial Williamsburg as much as we wanted all week. We did Williamsburg 3 days, Busch Gardens 3 days and Jamestown Settlement 1 day. And yes, it was busy. We are busy vacationers. If we have a morning where we lounge around a bit before getting under way it feels like we’re wasting time. Time that could be spent having fun! Before the kids our vacations were a helluva lotta walking around, seeing and doing. Going to Paris and seeing like 5 things in a day. I remember just how sore and scarred my feet were after a day spent walking all along the Seine from Museum to Church to Garden. We can’t do it like that anymore. But we can do one thing each day, though small children are not really museum/lecture friendly. The first day we were in Williamsburg we went into a shop – the wigmakers, shoemakers, candlestick makers – and everyone was standing there quietly listening to the shopkeeper talk about the craft and colonial times and Ray started going “ROCK! ROCK! ROCK!” at the top of his lungs because he wanted to go back outside and return to playing with ye olde colonial rocks. And after a few scenes like that we realized the shops were not gonna fly. But many things did. We had such a great time in the Governor’s Palace Garden that we went two days in a row. They liked the horses, the hoop and stick, and even eating in the Colonial Tavern. And the kids loved the fife, the drums and the cannons. Ray loves to recount the cheer “Hup Hup! (hoo)Ray! Hup Hup! Ray! Hup Hup! Ray! Boom! (cannon).”
Of course nothing compared to Busch Gardens. The kids loved the rides, the water areas and the shows so much that a trip that at first included one day at the park included three. It was Ray’s first real amusement park experience and he will tell you all about it. “RAWR!” means he rode the dragons. “Boat. Wet!” is all about his experience on the log flume. “Bee!” alludes to his experience on the lady bug ride. Both Noah and Ray poured over the map of Busch Gardens almost every night talking about what rides they had been on and then they began recreating the rollercoasters as they ran around the hotel rooms. One of the standout moments for me was when I took Noah on a “4D adventure ride” called Corkscrew Hill. The attendant swore to me it was not scary but rather about ancient Ireland. We sat in movie theater seats with lap belts and 3D glasses watching a film and then the damn seats started to move. I felt ill and horrified instantly. I just kept thinking “LET IT END! LET IT END!” and I was thrilled Noah didn’t look as sick as I felt. Then they had a witch on screen Noah said he was scared and buried his head in my arm. That minute until it was over has got to be one of the longest ones in my life. And not because I felt like I was going to lose my lunch but because I was so upset he was scared and I couldn’t make it stop. Welcome to parenthood.
Noah really had a great time. He just loves to be out and learning. And Ray was such a trooper. He had one nap the entire week we were in Williamsburg and still remarkably held it together all day. Don’t get me wrong, there were plenty of tense moments. And they usually start with Mark and I deciding on what our course of action is, especially if it involves meal time. Course when it was just us it would get dicey on vacations at meal times because we were both beat and wanting the other one to make the decisions, only of course if they were the right ones. But now that we aren’t the only grumpy ones it can get ugly until we’re all fed. Plus we had a few spats because of misunderstandings. Mark is the big history buff among us. At the beginning of the week he bought a book about all the Colonial Williamsburg buildings and their histories and he read it all week. Hell, I like to take a nice informative tour but I could only read that book if a grade depended on it. And I wanted to make sure he got enough out of our vacation. But whenever I suggested I wrangle the kids while he spent more time looking at something or doing something I didn’t think the kids were able to do Mark would take it as an insult. And then he worried I wasn’t enjoying the vacation since I didn’t want to go in the museum by myself too. Yeah, so we mostly argued about whether the other one was enjoying themselves. What the hell is wrong with us? Ahhh marriage. Noone ever said it was easy.
But vacation is over. And summer is on it’s way. I decided not to sign Noah up for the summer program at the school he is attending now because they don’t let the little kids outside. Granted it’s only three hours, three days a week, and they keep the little ones in because it’s too hard to keep track of them with all the other older kids all over the area, but I wanted something different for him this year. I found a rec program where they had an enclosed area and the kids could be out on the playground equipment and even play in sprinklers. It seemed much more enjoyable for him. Problem is that the first session filled up and we only got him in for July, one week of which he will miss to go to the beach with my Mom. And now I have him all day, every day the whole rest of the summer. That is kind of panicking me because he is now so social and prefers to be with kids his own age. And it puts a huge burden on me to keep him busy and engaged all summer. So some other neighborhood moms and I are trying to come up with some sort of plan for getting the kids together regularly and doing field trips. Though worried about my sanity over the summer I do feel like I need to treasure this time on the opposite side of the spectrum because I’m already getting sad about Noah being in school three 6 hour days starting in the Fall and how we will have so much less time together. Sheesh. I can’t make up my damn mind.
I want to say so much stuff about Ray but it seems so repetitive and like I’m featuring him over Noah too much – but he’s just in this very developmentally interesting and fun stage. His current playtime mostly consists of drawing, listening to books, “choo choo trains,” making “cake” and “soup,” water play, dancing and drums. He has insane passions for… everything. That is who he is. Fiery, lively little red head that he is. Above all things though he currently adores lemonade, ice cream, chocolate (hell any “TREAT!”) bananas, chex mix and MEAT! He isn’t big on veggies sadly but he does love asparagus. He’s still nursing at sleeping times. I am often struck by the fact that at the same time of Noah’s development I would talk about whether I should be weaning him to anyone that stood still – but with Ray I don’t give a rat’s ass what anyone thinks since I know what I am doing. And THAT is the beauty of having more than one. It seems so much more relaxed now. Ray is starting to become TWO. With increased instances of him yelling “NO” and “I want! I want! I want!” He is also far more apt to take off than Noah ever was, which is so scary, but on the positive side he is also more apt to play by himself than Noah still is. Above all Ray is damn infectious – and not in a swine flu way (have to mention it by law). His smiles and laughter are life affirming. And when both him and Noah start making each other laugh I feel like my life’s purpose has been fulfilled, that there can’t be greater joy. (GAG!)
And Noah is so far from a baby. He is wise beyond his years. He is inundating us with questions about the origin of man, how Mark and I met and started liking each other, and would he watch over Ray if he died. I really do think he is perfect which I am almost ashamed to admit. My only complaint about Noah is that he often gets sad and gives up when he can’t master something right away. He’s told me he’ll have to find a wife to put his shoes on for him. Don’t even get me started on buttons and butt wiping. But as much as he grows I am very happy that he is still very cuddly and affectionate with me. When that stops it will truly break my heart.
Have I got any more blathering to do? Sure. But I will spare you. Oh except to mention that I need to get a damn piece of exercise equipment. A treadmill perhaps. Something I can use at home 40 minutes a day – and then do it. Because the dieting is not working. I diet and lose weight and then stop dieting and then binge on all the stuff I didn’t eat while dieting and it’s all back in a heartbeat. I need easy access to a minimal amount of exercise daily. It’s my only hope. And Mark’s 20th reunion is coming and I don’t want to be an embarrassment to him. I am so stressed about how I look and what I will wear and how will the kids get to bed without me that I’d rather cut off a toe than go. You see I often get sad and give up when I can’t master something right away.
Our vacation is history. (Pitiful pun intended.) And all in all it went remarkably well. We got a Bounce Pass that enabled us to go to Busch Gardens & Colonial Williamsburg as much as we wanted all week. We did Williamsburg 3 days, Busch Gardens 3 days and Jamestown Settlement 1 day. And yes, it was busy. We are busy vacationers. If we have a morning where we lounge around a bit before getting under way it feels like we’re wasting time. Time that could be spent having fun! Before the kids our vacations were a helluva lotta walking around, seeing and doing. Going to Paris and seeing like 5 things in a day. I remember just how sore and scarred my feet were after a day spent walking all along the Seine from Museum to Church to Garden. We can’t do it like that anymore. But we can do one thing each day, though small children are not really museum/lecture friendly. The first day we were in Williamsburg we went into a shop – the wigmakers, shoemakers, candlestick makers – and everyone was standing there quietly listening to the shopkeeper talk about the craft and colonial times and Ray started going “ROCK! ROCK! ROCK!” at the top of his lungs because he wanted to go back outside and return to playing with ye olde colonial rocks. And after a few scenes like that we realized the shops were not gonna fly. But many things did. We had such a great time in the Governor’s Palace Garden that we went two days in a row. They liked the horses, the hoop and stick, and even eating in the Colonial Tavern. And the kids loved the fife, the drums and the cannons. Ray loves to recount the cheer “Hup Hup! (hoo)Ray! Hup Hup! Ray! Hup Hup! Ray! Boom! (cannon).”
Of course nothing compared to Busch Gardens. The kids loved the rides, the water areas and the shows so much that a trip that at first included one day at the park included three. It was Ray’s first real amusement park experience and he will tell you all about it. “RAWR!” means he rode the dragons. “Boat. Wet!” is all about his experience on the log flume. “Bee!” alludes to his experience on the lady bug ride. Both Noah and Ray poured over the map of Busch Gardens almost every night talking about what rides they had been on and then they began recreating the rollercoasters as they ran around the hotel rooms. One of the standout moments for me was when I took Noah on a “4D adventure ride” called Corkscrew Hill. The attendant swore to me it was not scary but rather about ancient Ireland. We sat in movie theater seats with lap belts and 3D glasses watching a film and then the damn seats started to move. I felt ill and horrified instantly. I just kept thinking “LET IT END! LET IT END!” and I was thrilled Noah didn’t look as sick as I felt. Then they had a witch on screen Noah said he was scared and buried his head in my arm. That minute until it was over has got to be one of the longest ones in my life. And not because I felt like I was going to lose my lunch but because I was so upset he was scared and I couldn’t make it stop. Welcome to parenthood.
Noah really had a great time. He just loves to be out and learning. And Ray was such a trooper. He had one nap the entire week we were in Williamsburg and still remarkably held it together all day. Don’t get me wrong, there were plenty of tense moments. And they usually start with Mark and I deciding on what our course of action is, especially if it involves meal time. Course when it was just us it would get dicey on vacations at meal times because we were both beat and wanting the other one to make the decisions, only of course if they were the right ones. But now that we aren’t the only grumpy ones it can get ugly until we’re all fed. Plus we had a few spats because of misunderstandings. Mark is the big history buff among us. At the beginning of the week he bought a book about all the Colonial Williamsburg buildings and their histories and he read it all week. Hell, I like to take a nice informative tour but I could only read that book if a grade depended on it. And I wanted to make sure he got enough out of our vacation. But whenever I suggested I wrangle the kids while he spent more time looking at something or doing something I didn’t think the kids were able to do Mark would take it as an insult. And then he worried I wasn’t enjoying the vacation since I didn’t want to go in the museum by myself too. Yeah, so we mostly argued about whether the other one was enjoying themselves. What the hell is wrong with us? Ahhh marriage. Noone ever said it was easy.
But vacation is over. And summer is on it’s way. I decided not to sign Noah up for the summer program at the school he is attending now because they don’t let the little kids outside. Granted it’s only three hours, three days a week, and they keep the little ones in because it’s too hard to keep track of them with all the other older kids all over the area, but I wanted something different for him this year. I found a rec program where they had an enclosed area and the kids could be out on the playground equipment and even play in sprinklers. It seemed much more enjoyable for him. Problem is that the first session filled up and we only got him in for July, one week of which he will miss to go to the beach with my Mom. And now I have him all day, every day the whole rest of the summer. That is kind of panicking me because he is now so social and prefers to be with kids his own age. And it puts a huge burden on me to keep him busy and engaged all summer. So some other neighborhood moms and I are trying to come up with some sort of plan for getting the kids together regularly and doing field trips. Though worried about my sanity over the summer I do feel like I need to treasure this time on the opposite side of the spectrum because I’m already getting sad about Noah being in school three 6 hour days starting in the Fall and how we will have so much less time together. Sheesh. I can’t make up my damn mind.
I want to say so much stuff about Ray but it seems so repetitive and like I’m featuring him over Noah too much – but he’s just in this very developmentally interesting and fun stage. His current playtime mostly consists of drawing, listening to books, “choo choo trains,” making “cake” and “soup,” water play, dancing and drums. He has insane passions for… everything. That is who he is. Fiery, lively little red head that he is. Above all things though he currently adores lemonade, ice cream, chocolate (hell any “TREAT!”) bananas, chex mix and MEAT! He isn’t big on veggies sadly but he does love asparagus. He’s still nursing at sleeping times. I am often struck by the fact that at the same time of Noah’s development I would talk about whether I should be weaning him to anyone that stood still – but with Ray I don’t give a rat’s ass what anyone thinks since I know what I am doing. And THAT is the beauty of having more than one. It seems so much more relaxed now. Ray is starting to become TWO. With increased instances of him yelling “NO” and “I want! I want! I want!” He is also far more apt to take off than Noah ever was, which is so scary, but on the positive side he is also more apt to play by himself than Noah still is. Above all Ray is damn infectious – and not in a swine flu way (have to mention it by law). His smiles and laughter are life affirming. And when both him and Noah start making each other laugh I feel like my life’s purpose has been fulfilled, that there can’t be greater joy. (GAG!)
And Noah is so far from a baby. He is wise beyond his years. He is inundating us with questions about the origin of man, how Mark and I met and started liking each other, and would he watch over Ray if he died. I really do think he is perfect which I am almost ashamed to admit. My only complaint about Noah is that he often gets sad and gives up when he can’t master something right away. He’s told me he’ll have to find a wife to put his shoes on for him. Don’t even get me started on buttons and butt wiping. But as much as he grows I am very happy that he is still very cuddly and affectionate with me. When that stops it will truly break my heart.
Have I got any more blathering to do? Sure. But I will spare you. Oh except to mention that I need to get a damn piece of exercise equipment. A treadmill perhaps. Something I can use at home 40 minutes a day – and then do it. Because the dieting is not working. I diet and lose weight and then stop dieting and then binge on all the stuff I didn’t eat while dieting and it’s all back in a heartbeat. I need easy access to a minimal amount of exercise daily. It’s my only hope. And Mark’s 20th reunion is coming and I don’t want to be an embarrassment to him. I am so stressed about how I look and what I will wear and how will the kids get to bed without me that I’d rather cut off a toe than go. You see I often get sad and give up when I can’t master something right away.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Hey sunshine.
Applause please.
A-maze-ing
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Expectations
But taking a cue from how much the boys enjoyed the outdoor exhibits at Jamestown Settlement, today we spent the bulk of our day romping around in the gardens in the Governor's Palace. We also enjoyed the storytime at the Folk Art museum, tours of the jail and the magazine, and some of the outdoor performances of Revolutionary City. It was a good day, a busy day. And though Mark and I might have liked to tour more houses and shops, we very much appreciate what we did get to do and especially the moments that the kids seemed to be especially enjoying himself.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Row, row, row!
Monday, April 20, 2009
Slowing the pace
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Milky white
Thrill rides
Friday, April 10, 2009
Sunshine Days
Friday, March 27, 2009
Child management in colonial times
We finally have our vacation plans set. It’s not as thrilling as Guatemala (we decided to wait until we collectively know more Spanish) or fulfilling as Germany (my Oma really isn’t up to the trip) but we are still excited to go to Williamsburg, Virginia nonetheless. My Aunt got us a free week at a time share there and we can drive thus saving around $1000 in airfare. We will hit Busch Gardens, Colonial Williamsburg and Jamestown as well as some playgrounds and the pool. We won’t have been anywhere in the last 6 months so it will be nice to get away to SOME place. And we’re already prepping Noah for the trip – getting out some books on Colonial times from the library. Of course we’d be chasing Ray around in circles no matter where we go.
Noah went through a rough patch at the end of last week. He was being so moody and utterly disagreeable about everything. It was probably a result of a growth spurt of some sort – he has these grumpy patches occasionally. But Mark and I separately came to the conclusion that Ray might have something to do with it. Ray is in this insanely charming, ebullient, show-stopping phase and we are constantly having to stop ourselves from just giggling and gushing about everything he does and says. And we both felt that Ray’s cuteness was taking a toll on Noah. So as a result I am making an effort to give Noah more positive feedback and trying not to openly marvel so much about Ray. And there is a lot of positive feedback to give. Noah’s working really hard at reading and it is damn exciting. He is writing, set designing, directing and acting out his own plays. He has become this incredible social being playing with his friends and always doing such a great job of getting along with them. I am amazed how Noah and his best friend Maia seem to never quarrel – they are both so good at compromising. And he’s finally getting motivated to do some things for himself like putting on his clothes, shoes and jacket. He is growing, learning and impressing me every day.
And as I said Ray is worth gushing about but I can’t even truly communicate how fantastic he is right now. He’s learning new words and getting more and more physically active and able. And he is utterly fascinated by the world and himself. He has started to talk in the third person – constantly calling himself by name. We get a lot of “No. Ray!” to let us know he wants to do things on his own. He jumps, leaps, smiles and giggles. He is truly infectious. It’s hard to think of my favorite things because there are so many. I love how he’s trying to count but it comes out as “one… one… one” with each one said in a slightly intonation. I love how when he hears a baby cries he automatically goes “Baby…. Ahhh.” I adore the way he chimes in enthusiastically to do whatever it is Noah is doing. I am awed by his love and dedication to drawing – he’s drawing really visually interesting patterns of circles and lines. I am overwhelmed at how cuddly, affectionate and fun he is – how adventurous, independent and physical he is. He really is something right now. I want to freeze him like this forever.
I’ve been trying to lose some weight that I put on over the holidays and unhelped by my foot fracture. I lost a few pounds that have me fitting more comfortably in my pants but now my weight seems to be unchanging though I’m still being pretty damn good. It’s frustrating. I’m hoping that with the warm weather will come more regular exercise. I have been embracing every warmer day with walks to the park and treks through the zoo. I am hoping to lose some more baby fat before getting pregnant again – of course with me I can’t be sure whether pregnancy attempts will last a few months or a year. I’d ideally like to get pregnant in July but making that a plan is nearly like planning to get a big scratch off win.
At the moment I am doing a lot of back and forth about summer plans. Last year I wasn’t thrilled with the summer program at Noah’s current school. It isn’t run by the same people and it really could be a lot better, but it wasn’t bad either and the price is right. Also I have no freaking clue what I would do with him every day all day now that we rely on school a few days a week. If I put him in the summer program at least that is three days I don’t have to entertain him for three hours. But the biggest question is Ray. One of the big pluses of the summer program is that I can start Ray and he and Noah would be in the same class. I feel like this would be a great way to make his first experiences there more comfortable. However I am also like thinking how can my baby be ready for school – Noah was nearly a year older than Ray when he started. I need advice. Do you think it would be a benefit for Ray to have his brother in his class when he has his first school experiences or should I just hold off until he is scheduled to start in the two year old class in September? HELP!
Noah went through a rough patch at the end of last week. He was being so moody and utterly disagreeable about everything. It was probably a result of a growth spurt of some sort – he has these grumpy patches occasionally. But Mark and I separately came to the conclusion that Ray might have something to do with it. Ray is in this insanely charming, ebullient, show-stopping phase and we are constantly having to stop ourselves from just giggling and gushing about everything he does and says. And we both felt that Ray’s cuteness was taking a toll on Noah. So as a result I am making an effort to give Noah more positive feedback and trying not to openly marvel so much about Ray. And there is a lot of positive feedback to give. Noah’s working really hard at reading and it is damn exciting. He is writing, set designing, directing and acting out his own plays. He has become this incredible social being playing with his friends and always doing such a great job of getting along with them. I am amazed how Noah and his best friend Maia seem to never quarrel – they are both so good at compromising. And he’s finally getting motivated to do some things for himself like putting on his clothes, shoes and jacket. He is growing, learning and impressing me every day.
And as I said Ray is worth gushing about but I can’t even truly communicate how fantastic he is right now. He’s learning new words and getting more and more physically active and able. And he is utterly fascinated by the world and himself. He has started to talk in the third person – constantly calling himself by name. We get a lot of “No. Ray!” to let us know he wants to do things on his own. He jumps, leaps, smiles and giggles. He is truly infectious. It’s hard to think of my favorite things because there are so many. I love how he’s trying to count but it comes out as “one… one… one” with each one said in a slightly intonation. I love how when he hears a baby cries he automatically goes “Baby…. Ahhh.” I adore the way he chimes in enthusiastically to do whatever it is Noah is doing. I am awed by his love and dedication to drawing – he’s drawing really visually interesting patterns of circles and lines. I am overwhelmed at how cuddly, affectionate and fun he is – how adventurous, independent and physical he is. He really is something right now. I want to freeze him like this forever.
I’ve been trying to lose some weight that I put on over the holidays and unhelped by my foot fracture. I lost a few pounds that have me fitting more comfortably in my pants but now my weight seems to be unchanging though I’m still being pretty damn good. It’s frustrating. I’m hoping that with the warm weather will come more regular exercise. I have been embracing every warmer day with walks to the park and treks through the zoo. I am hoping to lose some more baby fat before getting pregnant again – of course with me I can’t be sure whether pregnancy attempts will last a few months or a year. I’d ideally like to get pregnant in July but making that a plan is nearly like planning to get a big scratch off win.
At the moment I am doing a lot of back and forth about summer plans. Last year I wasn’t thrilled with the summer program at Noah’s current school. It isn’t run by the same people and it really could be a lot better, but it wasn’t bad either and the price is right. Also I have no freaking clue what I would do with him every day all day now that we rely on school a few days a week. If I put him in the summer program at least that is three days I don’t have to entertain him for three hours. But the biggest question is Ray. One of the big pluses of the summer program is that I can start Ray and he and Noah would be in the same class. I feel like this would be a great way to make his first experiences there more comfortable. However I am also like thinking how can my baby be ready for school – Noah was nearly a year older than Ray when he started. I need advice. Do you think it would be a benefit for Ray to have his brother in his class when he has his first school experiences or should I just hold off until he is scheduled to start in the two year old class in September? HELP!
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