Just keep swimming

Last Tuesday was great. It was like a fog lifted. We were all seeming well and we headed out on an excursion. We went to the Adventure Aquarium. Noah hadn’t been in a year and Ray had never been. Noah enjoyed it SO much more than he did last time. Last time he was cautious about the low lighting and frightened of the sharks. This time he was mystified by everything, especially the sharks. I think he could of watch the shark tank for an hour. He just thought they were so cool. And we also “talked” to some scuba divers in the tank. They swam up to the glass and began showing us some shark teeth. Ray was transfixed by the fishes too. I’d put him up next to the glass and he’d try to talk to them. Chattering away, tapping on the glass. On the way out we hit the gift shop. Noah got an assortment of hard plastic sea creatures including a sawfish which had been his favorite thing during the day. And Ray of course got a ray. It was such a nice day. To be out, experiencing the world and watching my boys at work in it. That’s what I love. And it had been FAR too long.

Oh- and I am now officially freaked out by hippoes. Seeing those enormous things prance around in the water right in front of you is damn frightening. The sharks didn’t wig me out, but all I could think of when I saw that hippo was “Any second now he’s coming through that glass to crush us all.” I was smart enough not to talk about my anxiety when we were at the aquarium but no so smart when I discussed it with Mark over dinner. Suddenly during bath time Noah had to get out of the tub before the jumping hippoes got him. Smart Mom.

So Tuesday was fun. And we had our art group on Wednesday and it was great to see friends. It was a nice break. A short one. By Thursday I was full on sick again. I couldn’t freakin believe it. I was the wasted, fevered, walking dead wheeling Ray around Target in circles while Noah was in school. It seemed easier to put him in a cart and entrance him with the colorful commercialism than it was to take him home and try to entertain him. I didn’t even buy anything. Just hauled my sickly ass around. Pathetic.

On Saturday I gathered it together enough to take Noah to a lunch playdate at Frannies – where he mostly just watched as three little girls dressed up and played mind games with each other. Ah girls – already setting up social hierarchies and ridiculing each other. Crazy. And that night Noah was very excited to finally go see our neighbors’ band play at a local record store. Steve and Krista are married and live next door. They are also both incredibly helpful, attractive, and talented rockin hipsters. I think we all collectively have a crush on them. How could you not? Noah has been anxious to see their band. We’ve had to explain to him that rock bands typically play at bars past his bedtime but when The Swimmers had a daytime show we would take him. And we finally got our chance. He loved it – though of course that means he just sat their slack jawed looking distraught and saying not much of anything during or right after the show but will now continue to talk about it for a month.

This weekend Mark also did some cleaning up, bless his soul. He kind of owed me for the time I gave him to work on his music (new songs on MySpace) in the basement. So it’s a little cleaner around here. Just a little. But it helps.

And it’s Monday and I’m still not right. I’ve been ill with one thing or another for the greater part of a month. I don’t think I’ve ever been this sick, this long. It bites. And Noah seems like he’s having a snotty resurgence too. Sheesh.

It’s been such a draining month. I am eager for the rejuvenating effects of spring. I’m already planning a million outings. The flower show, an egg hunt, a play, the circus. I’m sure I’m over doing it but I’m just so eager to DO SOMETHING. And I need to do something for myself too. Real bad. But what? At the moment I’ve decided that what I can do to be a far more calm and sophisticated me is to buy a bunch of new exotic teas. THAT should fix everything.