Noah and I made a trip to our local Walmart this afternoon. The Columbus Blvd. Walmart in Philadelphia has to be among the most insane and chaotic places to visit in the continental US. It’s always crowded with people who are yelling at, striking and/or can’t find their kids – the ones that are trying to crawl under your moving cart. The lines are always long, the cashiers always rude and the stock in a shambles. If you don’t take it in stride and view it with an air of amusement you won’t make it out alive – or at least not emotionally whole. The highlight of today’s trip was when a group of customers decided that the best solution to the crowds and lack of open cash registers was to yell “HELP” at the top of their lungs and get others to join them in their protest. Seriously. Noah and I were surrounded by about 20 people complaining and sending out distress calls. Nuts.
The wait in line was made all the more amusing by Noah. I had given him a biter biscuit to mollify him while I painstakingly looked for long sleeved onesies in his size – which of course were out of stock. By the time we were in line he was COVERED in gooey, crusty biter biscuit slime. It was on his clothes, his hands, his hair, and the cart handle. I went digging in the bag for a life-saving wipe and came to the realization that I had forgotten to pack them. Stupid Mama. Then Noah decided the most fun game ever was to allow me to share in his mess so he began pulling at my shirt, my jacket and grabbing my hair. I guess I got what I deserved.
Mark was like a kid in a candy store last night with the DVR remote. I’m sure I’ll be more excited when I actually use it to record something I want to see or to rewind a clue I missed on Lost.
9 comments:
I guess this is where I come clean and mention that just before shutting off the TV last night I set it to record the end of the baseball game, and then before I left this morning, while you were drying your hair, I watched the last two innings on superfastforward.
Good times. Except for the Yankee loss.
I can't stand Wal-Mart. We started boycotting them years ago because of their evil business practices. It's probably been five years now. I know that other companies do similar things, but it seems like Wal-Mart is the biggest and worst offender. When I first moved to Indiana I would go to Wal-Mart late at night, like 10, and it would still be packed with crazy families. It was so bizarre.
Biter biscuits are a special type of goo all their own. I had trouble finding a vegan brand, so the ones I bought were molasses flavored. I only gave them to Dermot once, but it really looked like he was eating poop. It was awful. Ethan was gone so I took a picture because he just had to see poor Dermot. Dermot didn't seem to like them too much anyway. I thought it tasted gross too.
oh my god, I'm just picturing nicole reading lonna's comment about dermot looking like he was eating poop.
and nicole...um...is your wipes holder thingie white? and it says huggies? and it's at my house?
this whole entry - I LOL'd. oh how I LOL'd. they are slimy for sure!
Wal-mart is SUCH a circus. For some reason it always smells like boiled hot dogs and BO to me. Those biscuits are such a disaster. The slime! The slime!
p.s. You TOTALLY made my day wtih the invitation. Thanks.
I'm trying to get up the nerve to go to Wal Mart. Zach needs new jeans, and they really do have the best ones at the best price that I've seen, and Madeline needs another stacking organizer drawer for her stacking organization thingy, and I got the first two at Wal Mart, so there you go. I'm more of a Target girl these days, but even that can just be TOO much some days.
Our Wal-Mart is like number one in the nation or some such insanity. When I was in college we would go at like 1:00 in the morning because otherwise I would try and kidnap the children getting screamed at plus we never had time during the day. Yes Wal-Mart is insane. Every time I go there I'm a little surprised at the insanity.
Wal-Mart must be universally life sucking. It's the same here. You kinda have to mentally prepare yourself before going in.
I was at WalMart a week or so ago and a little boy maybe 3 was walking along beside the cart Mommy was pushing with little brother riding inside and a WALMART EMPLOYEE pushing a cart ran into him pinning him between the two carts. When he started crying (more scared than hurt) the employee said "What a BRAT" I did not know this mom or child but all I could think of is my grandson about that age and I lost it. I demanded to speak to his manager and unloaded. The manager informed me I could shop elsewhere if I liked. So guess what I LIKE - so I am now shopping at Target and telling everyone that will listen to also. I was so ANGRY!
Who needs Wal-Mart when we now have Target, and it's so close? I think the prices are similar, aren't they? I haven't been to a Wal-Mart in years, so what do I know.
Actually, there is one thing I know: Next time you're in the S. Philly Wal-Mart and you forgot the baby wipes, just open a package on the shelf, take however many you need, and put the package back on the shelf. Preferably a different shelf in a different area of the store. I am sure this is legal at the S. Philly Wal-Mart, since I saw a number of shoppers doing similar things.
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